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Desc:Ed's 1971 pornawful lovingly rendered as SFW as possible.
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:Ed Wood, mike gravel, porno, Rene Bond, hand-censored
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:10/14/14
Views:1299
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Comment count is 23
John Holmes Motherfucker
Little Anita Presents is my new YouTube channel. I've also started working on some David Lynch fan videos. I'm just going to submit it all as it's uploaded, vote it up or down, no hard feelings, no big deal.

This takes me back. My first YouTube videos were creatively censored porn.

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=82235
Adham Nu'man
Great. Thanks. The video you just linked to in your comment is private though...

John Holmes Motherfucker
Thanks for the heads up. Fixed, but now there's some copyright bullshit over 30 seconds of a shitty old disco song. I'l get to that, but right now it's silent, will be part silent in a little while.

Adham Nu'man
Cool. Thanks.

Nominal
The censorship effort was about as competent as an Ed Wood film.

Dear lord, the woman in white WAS wearing a bra?
John Holmes Motherfucker
Thank you.

The bra was pretty transparent.

That was Rene Bond, one of the true early porn stars. When not being directed by Ed Wood, she was actually quite cute and charming. She died of cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 46.

Simillion
I'm in love with her ass. I think I'm in love with it because that's basically my girlfriend's ass.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I guess that makes me in love with your girlfriend's ass. Mazel tov!

By her own admission, Boxxy has no ass. Thank God!

http://youtu.be/JMUUkZQqFtY?t=5m54s

Adham Nu'man
Little Mickey had been very lazy at his biology class and had only studied the earthworm. He gets to school and the teacher calls him up in front of the classroom and asks him "Mickey, I'm sure you've been studying a lot and so I would like you to tell us all about the Elephant"

So Little Mickey thinks for a few seconds and goes: "Well, the Elephant is a very large animal, with very big ears, and he also has a very long trunk... The trunk... Looks a little bit like a very long earthworm... So, let me tell you all about the earthworm"

John Holmes Motherfucker
The earthworm also has no ass, thank God.


Simillion
my gf will be my fiancee within a year i hope.

Nominal
Not so much the bra's transparency as her nipples bursting through that shirt suggesting there is zero fabric between the two.

Old_Zircon
I can't watch right now, which cut is this? There's the softcore cut, the hardcore cut and then the incomplete cut that SWV had for years before the full ones were discovered. I've got all three.

The scene in the preview image is probably my favorite.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I think this is the complete version. I believe I read (it was almost 20 years ago) that the Something Weird version didn't contain opening credits, and this one does, and it's certainly hardcore.

This clip ends just before the first real sex scene. I'm working on that right now. It looks like my options are to completely obliterate the sex scenes, or come up with something thats clean enough for youtube, but not really SFW. if it comes down to it, I'm going to go with option 2.

Old_Zircon
SWV version was definitely the softcore cut and was probably missing fotage too, I forget. I don't thinkI actually have the tape anymore, I probably sold it after the restored DVD came out.

Old_Zircon
Just do what I did for Batpussy and put the audio over stock footage of WWII aircraft.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I can remember when I had a subscription to CULT MOVIES, I can remember when this was considered a lost film, and then the excitement when a fragmented soft core print was unearthed somewhere. I think it lives up to the hype. It's special. In typical Ed Wood fashion, the dialogue scenes are horrible, and not in a so bad it's good way, just fucking horrible, but the mood and the story manage to be bizarre without being dark and depressing like a lot of seventies porn.

And yet, it's also more than a little sad that this is where he ended up.

Old_Zircon
I first heard about it when I read Nightmare of Ecstasy back in 8th or 9th grade (also the reason I thought the Ed Wood movie was kinda crap).


Necromania's the best, though. Not just among Ed Wood movies, in general.

Old_Zircon
Oops, I meant Orgy of the Dead, not Necromania. Orgy of the Dead is on of the greatest things ever committed to film. Necromania's OK.

John Holmes Motherfucker
There's a burlesque performer in Vancouver named Melody Mangler who produced a stage version of Orgy of the Dead. Doesn't that sound like fun? If you like watching burlesque videos, or redheads, Melody Manger is a name worth googling.

fluffy
knee crow man sir
John Holmes Motherfucker
There's more bizarre pronunciations to come.
"Jeffrey you're IN SASH YU BUL!"

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