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Desc:David Fincher's latest thriller, reviewed by a man with his own problems.
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:The Onion, ben affleck, peter k rosenthal, gone girl
Submitted:infinite zest
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Comment count is 13
Onion Film Standard is becoming my favorite reoccurring bit.
Since the end of Lake Dredge Appraisal this is easily their best ongoing series.

Rodents of Unusual Size
You can think of a way out, Pete. Gone Girl did.
Man I really expected him to say that. I felt like I could hear the horn on it from a mile away. Thank you.

Kid Fenris
I like to think he's good friends with cartoonist Stan Kelly
I don't like watching a man stressing out about his own problems while trying to review a film about people dealing with their problems. I got a lot on my plate as it is.
I don't like reading some negative nancy's comments about how they can't watch a video about a man stressing out about his life while he's trying to do a movie review. I just don't have the energy to deal with that right now.

I can't stand anything with Ben Affleck or his chin in it.

I'll let this slide with a 3.

I can't deal with all this meta-obsessed bullshit about reading comments about watching a man watching a movie. I got too much shit on my own plate as it is.

That guy
I can't try all these stressplates while moving these energy lots. I just shit film.

"Peter K. Rosenthal: Demanding more and less from cinema at the same time."

Its damn near one of my favorite things on the internet.
Juice Eggs McKenna
I just watched his Dawn of the Planet of the Apes review and it was everything I ever wanted from a film critic

Could be a bit better acted though.

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