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Desc:All your favorite characters return! Boxerman! Stabitha! The dinosaur! Thich Quang Duc!
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:dinosaurs, killer instinct, xbox one
Submitted:Kid Fenris
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Comment count is 38
EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
No Kim Wu, don't care.
Nominal - 2014-10-17
I can't think of a worse aging fighting game.
Gmork - 2014-10-17
Shaq Fu
Eternal Champions

spikestoyiu - 2014-10-17
Shaq Fu is not that bad. I replayed it recently. It was kinda fun.

Timekillers is way worse.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
Almost two decades waiting for a new one, only to get this horseshit.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2014-10-17
War Gods

blue vein steel - 2014-10-17

KI has always been a shit fighting game

infinite zest - 2014-10-17
I always liked it as it fell somewhere between the button mashing of tekken and the actual skills needed to pull off a cool combo like in SF2. But yeah this was about as 90s as it got.

infinite zest - 2014-10-17
PS I liked Time Killers, mostly because there was a 711 by my house that had it and I always knew when the quarter collector was going to show up. He put a bunch of free games on it for us kids after school.

DrVital - 2014-10-17
"The Quarter Collector" sounds like serial killer from a Stephen King novel.

Nominal - 2014-10-17
"Worst aging" as in a game that used to be the shit but has fallen the farthest once you take the goggles off.

Those other games are barely remembered, whereas SUPER ULTRA C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER is still embedded in video game pop culture.

As badly aging 90s as Mortal Kombat is, Killer Instinct has aged way worse.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-10-17
You guys are the first people I've ever encountered willing to say negative things about the Killer Instinct franchise, or any Rareware game. I love you.

I just can't bring myself to give this shit a chance because something about a f2p fighting game where you have to purchase the characters individually just makes me want to bomb Microsoft.

Kid Fenris - 2014-10-17
I loved BloodStorm, the less successful follow-up to Time Killers, without a trace of irony. It was mostly the secret stuff; the game had lots of hidden characters and about a hundred PG-13 insults that would come up if you mashed buttons after you won.

The Mothership - 2014-10-17
Ok, but was KI better than Soul Caliber?

Coax_Current - 2014-10-17
Considering Soul Calibur is one of the best fighting games ever made, no, Killer Instinct is nowhere close. Maybe you're thinking of Soul Edge.

Also, their releases were 4 years apart, and were completely different eras of fighting games. KI came in after MK2. Neither Soul Edge nor Street Fighter Alpha were out yet. Virtua Fighter 2 came out late that year, and MK3 the next year. Speaking of shit games, I just remembered War Gods, which came out around the time of Soul Edge. It had a big "3D" button that was used for certain special somethings, but anyway, the light under the button would really heat it up. I remember warming my hands on it during the winter (no one was playing it anyway). ANUBIS WINS!

Coax_Current - 2014-10-17
And by the button "heating up" I mean if you just left your hand on the button for a few seconds you'd get burned. It was probably 140 F or so? Ah, the good old days.

MacGyver Style Bomb - 2014-10-18
When it comes to bad fighting games, the one and only correct answer is Ballz 3d.

And perhaps Shadow: War of Succession, but I never had a chance to play that.

infinite zest - 2014-10-18
I remember renting Ballz 3D and it was pretty shitty, but the graphics were pretty cool for the time, and it sort of felt like a Tekken for us poor kids who couldn't afford a Playstation. You wanna talk bad fighting games? Rise of the Robots.

Shanghai Tippytap - 2014-10-17
i think i remember the robot

wasnt there a monkey that farted on people
dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-10-17
I don't recall any farting monkeys. Just a skeleton pirate and a werewolf. And some sort of sentient fire blob and ice blob.

infinite zest - 2014-10-17
You know you're doing something wrong when your characters and their backstories are even more hackneyed then the fighting game competition's that you're out there to destroy.

Killer Joe - 2014-10-17
That was primal rage.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
You might be thinking of Ballz, which had a farting monkey.

The robot's name is Fulgore, the skeleton pirate is Spinal, the furry is Saberwolf. The two blobs are actually amorphous aliens, Cinder and Glacius. They were probably meant to serve as KI's version of Scorpion and Sub-Zero, but it never really worked out, because nobody gave two shits about Glacius or especially Cinder (who got written out of the series after the first game). Most of the fan attention focused on Orchid, Fulgore, and to a lesser degree Jago (the Lui Kang/ Ryu ninja dude), who were developed into the franchises' core heroes and villains.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
Primal Rage had a monkey, two of them IIRC, but I don't think he farted. I think he peed on people instead.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
Oh, nevermind. I looked it up; the Primal Rage monkey pees AND farts on you. The pee is a fatality, the fart is a regular move. He also barfs.

Kid Fenris - 2014-10-17
I, for one, find Killer Instinct canon quite progressive for allowing the original game's lone woman character to win the tournament and destroy the final boss.

poorwill - 2014-10-17
Canonically, did she kill it by flashing her tits at it?

Caminante Nocturno - 2014-10-18
Primal Rage was one of the greatest fighting games of its time.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-18
You shut up about Primal Rage, Caminante. That game relied on gross gimmicks, like eating tiny people, rather than staying classy, like KI with it's tastefully censored tit flashing. (I do not believe a canonical method was ever established for how Orchid dispatched Eyedol, but the tit flashing fatality seems likely, given that Eyedol is a magical monk demon and thus unlikely to be vulnerable to her frog transformation ninpo.)

Killer Joe - 2014-10-17
I won 17 in a row on the first one in the arcade, I was the coolest kid for a very short time. KI has always been a guilty pleasure, but KI2 was just awful, this one looks no better and the F2P bullshit doesn't do a thing for me either.
Hooker - 2014-10-17
At first I though, "Wait, isn't this a Rare property? Did they let it go?" Then I realized I'm not 16 any more and Rare hasn't been a player in games for ages.
EvilHomer - 2014-10-17
Rare died over a decade ago. Most of their intellectual "property" got caught in a legal limbo between Microsoft and Nintendo, which was why you haven't seen any of their classic titles for awhile, and why this was (supposed to be) such a big deal.

Of course, Microsoft did everything in their power to make it as shitty and underwhelming as they could, probably because some executive saw what a muck-up Duke Nukem Forever turned out to be, and just assumed that was the sort of thing kids were into these days.

poorwill - 2014-10-17
Rare probably did their most creative and interesting games under MS. Who then promptly scuttled them and put them to work on Kinect stuff when they underperformed relative to expectations. Stars are for 'stabitha'.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-10-17
Microsoft bought Rare, and Killer Instinct, Banjo Kazooie, and Perfect Dark were never trademark purchased by Nintendo. Which is why the latter two have been raped into extinction by Microsoft and the former is well on it's way to the same fate.

Under Nintendo partnership, Rare made the Donkey Kong Country games, the original Perfect Dark, the original Banjo Kazooie, Diddy Kong Racing, Conker's Bad Fur Day...dare I say, they didn't make a single bad game.

Now Microsoft has reduced them to making shitty bullshit motion control "WiiSports" and "WiiFit" knockoff Kinect games where you flail your arms to win. It's saddening.

EvilHomer - 2014-10-18
Question: should Rare even be considered Rare? If I understand correctly, Microsoft replaced the entire staff not long after buying them out; this would make them Rare in name only, and would account for why the imprint is putting out so much bullshit.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-10-18
I wonder which characters that dinosaur-shaped silhouette and that lava man-shaped silhouette could signify

could they be the lava man

could they be the dino

life is full of possibilities
Caminante Nocturno - 2014-10-18
Raptors were EVERYWHERE in the 1990's.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-10-18
Don't patronize me, Nocturno. I know what caused 9/11.

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