Rob Zombie is really just the pits. I was suckered in to suffering through "House of a 1000 Corpses". It's really terrible. A friend then convinced me to give the sequel a try. "No, it's nothing like the original. You'll like it a lot more -- promise!" No. Still terrible.
Also, never forget: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2013/08/07/ROB-ZOMBIE-COMPL AINS-OF-SKATE-PARK-NOISE-IN-CONN
You're nine years too late! But yes, a lesson learned.
Such genius on display, we can only eagerly await Zombie's next film, a crowdfunded project involving murderous clowns who go on a killing spree at a place called Murder World.
Here's a sneak peek at how the film might go:
"What the dried up pussy FUCK are them fucking clowns doing in this motherfucking cat fucker fucking shitkicking town?!?"
"These fucking clowns are gonna fucking kill us like a rat fucker's fucking asshole!"
:Aw shit fuck no, shit!"
:random image from a 1950's era B-movie:
|Adham Nu'man |
I really liked "The Devil's Rejects" and think it's one of the best films of its genre in many years. Of course, if you don't like American exploitation films in general you won't like it, but it's a good film within its niche.
The problem here is that he's trying to do an artsy Roman Polanski type thing to prove himself a "serious" Director, and thus he's fucking things up by working outside of what he knows.
I'm not sure if his new crowdsource film will be any good or not but I'll give it a shot. Even this film was at least more entertaining than The Conjuring or most mainstream horror crap these days.
|Binro the Heretic |
|Prickly Pete |
I like House Of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects a lot, so it's not even as if Rob Zombie fans should like this movie. It has more in common with Manos The Hands Of Fate than those movies. I know Zombie is a big fan of vintage b-horror but even if it's supposed to be an homage to that it fails. It just fails so hard at everything. I am definitely still looking forward to his next movie though.
|Caminante Nocturno |
I still have very distinct memories of loving Rob Zombie's music. I know next to nothing about his filmography, but 5 stars for those memories.
Okay, this movie was crap BUT:
1. Excellent photography/cinematography.
2. Excellent production design
3. Excellent use of The Velvet Underground
I conclude from this that Zombie's talents lie not in directing or writing but in curating. I point to his stage show and White Zombie as examples of this as well.
Even his casting choices are collecting and presenting actresses from B movies. Also, Magenta was really fun in this despite the film.
Excellent cinematography? Well then my theory is that I was watching a faux widescreen version that cropped off the top and bottom of a full screen version because the one I saw on tv looked like ass.
When trying to be transgressive (it's all he does) every choice Zombie makes is the easiest, safest one. Ironically juxtaposing Jesus and devils. Casting his wife and dressing her up like a cool chick. Aping Kubrick without any real point. The same silly spoopy images he has been coughing up since he was 19.
This ending is perfect. At this point he is literally just throwing spooky images at you, and then when it doesn't work he makes them bigger, then when that doesn't work he does a silly looking mesh warp on them.
The cinematography is there and that's about it.
This is awful, so full of itself, nonsense and most of all boring.
This is a midlife crisis.
Actually, if you want to see a movie that's intended to be a homage to the movies this one claimed it was, check out House Of The Devil. It's basically an entire movie of nothing but set-up and it's brilliant and doesn't have to rely on dumb jump scares or Sherri Moon getting naked and covering herself in blood or any of that shit.
I really liked House of 1000 Corpses, but I think it was a fluke in how good it was. Zombie is really shit otherwise, his Halloween movies are fucking terrible.
House of the Devil is great.
Okay, take it easy.
|Maggot Brain |
Look, he's trying to be like Kubrick, how cute!
|Sexy Duck Cop |
House of a Thousand Corpses is a really fun, campy, haunted house of a Halloween B-movie. Dwight from The Office yells DOCTOR SATAN and then gets his head cut off.
The Devil's Rejects is much more mean-spirited and not for everyone. It's an incredibly sadistic film, but if you're willing to gve it the benefit of the doubt, it actually has a few genuinely powerful moments; the family is much more barbaric and vile, far less fun, than they were in the first movie, and as viewers, we want nothing more than to see them get their just desserts. Yet when that moment comes, and the sheriff is literally stapling photos of their victims to their chest, we realize that the violent catharsis of our fantasies is gruesome in real life. It actually forces us to confront the ugliness of our own violence. By the end of the movie, the killers are no longer the funhouse monsters of the previous film, nor are they the one-dimensional sociopaths of the beginning. Rather, they're utterly disenchanted with violence after experiencing it firsthand. There's something interesting in that.
This is a fucking mess.
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