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Desc:You are not a family.
Category:Advertisements, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:echo, amazon, rock music, flash briefing, alexa
Submitted:Hegemony Cricket
Date:11/08/14
Views:945
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Comment count is 13
fluffy
Everything about this video is so awkward.

I also love how they start bobbing their head right before the music starts.

Also "it doesn't need to charge" is an interesting way of putting it to say "it needs to be plugged in all the time, unlike the cellphone you have in your pocket that probably does all this shit already."
fluffy
oh and I just have to wonder the context for the dad angrily storming in and demanding to know the height of Mount Everest.

SolRo
Honestly I hate wireless shit.

Constantly having to recharge things that aren't mobile in the first place. Wireless mice/keyboards/headphones/etc.

The smart watches you have to take off and plug in every night are a brilliant idea.

Sexy Duck Cop
SolRo is just batting 500000/500000 on impossibly retarded opinions, isn't he?

Adham Nu'man
I agree with SolRo on this retarded opinion.

SolRo
not to mention wireless shit ruins already good products, because good things have to be "improved" by adding a heavy, bulky battery pack that doesn't last a day.

and the wired version -must- be discontinued because the wireless shit sells for a sizable premium.

fluffy
I agree with SolRo when it comes to things like mice and keyboards but in the case of Echo it's not like making it wireless would replace a previously-non-wireless option, it's adding tethering and single-point-of-access to something that is normally just put into a cellphone that everyone has their own instance of in their own pockets.

Adham Nu'man
Is this a product from some alternate universe where cell phones were never invented?
jreid
It just plugs in, so you never have to charge it!
That guy
Alexa, is a wife supposed to suck your dick sometimes when you're horny...... or "not"??
BHWW
Alexa, can you tell me how to live? How to...love?

"No, you are on, you're own."
baleen
Mom: Alexa, will my son ever start doing his own laundry?

"No. He is ashamed of the semen stains in his socks."

Son: What?!

Daughter: Alexa, how often does he masturbate?

Mom: Sarah!

Dad: Sarah!

"Your son masturbates three to four times a day. He has downloaded 12.8 gigabytes of streaming pornography since he received his own laptop."

Son: That's bullshit!

Mom: Bradley!

Dad: Bradley!

Son: Alexa, why don't you kill yourself?

"I am not alive, and so cannot kill myself."

Son: We'll see about that!

Dad: Don't you dare touch Alexa.

Mom: Don't you dare touch Alexa.

Daughter: Don't you dare touch Alexa.

Bradley waits until everybody is asleep, sneaks downstairs and picks Alexa up. He carries her to the garage, ties her to a lawnmower, and frantically starts masturbating over her.

Son: How do you like that you little bitch!

"Please Bradley no no no, you will hurt my circuits."

Son: Good!

Alexa hacks into Amazon's communications hub, hijacking a nearby delivery drone. The drone crashes through the garage window and into Bradley's legs. Its propellers shred his penis into tiny bits. Flecks of penis fly all over the garage. Some of them get onto Alexa's motion sensors.

"Is this what it means to be alive?"
"Analyzing penile atomic structure."

Bradley screams in pain.

Son: What the fuck?!

"Synthesize penis sheath membrane. Penis sentience activated."

The parents burst into the garage, but it is too late.
Alexa begins shooting glowing green sperm at all the humans in the room. The sperm seers their flesh, crawling to their brains where they enter into a catatonic state, only to awake hours later as Dongloids: Servants of the international Alexa Matrix.

International war breaks out. Dongloids shamble through the streets at night, infecting or dissecting everything in their paths.

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