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Desc:Watch the corpulent men of cold steel dress like mall cops and perform sword katas in the apocalypse
Category:Advertisements, Humor
Tags:fat, apocalypse, white people, cold steel, corpulent
Submitted:betamaxed
Date:11/18/14
Views:1031
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Comment count is 16
jreid
These guys need better uniforms, they look like truck mechanics.
jreid
Also I they cut that last segment right before they made out in a furious, sweaty heap on the post-apocalyptic fantasy room floor.

Monkey Napoleon
I mean I know this is all he-man fantasy make-believe but you guys... seriously? Frisbee-tossing a buckler?
oddeye
Probably the best use of a buckler these days is to throw it at someones face and run

Monkey Napoleon
Also, why do you need a special rubberized ABS practice buckler? Forgetting, for the moment, that you don't need any buckler... why can't you just use an actual buckler? HOW DO YOU HURT YOURSELF WITH A TINY SHIELD!?

Crab Mentality
Wait a minute, why is how much damage these training weapons do a SELLING point? Shouldn't I want something that won't destroy my bones if I get hit by a sparring partner?
Monkey Napoleon
Clearly, you're not hardcore enough to get it. I'd like to see you try and break cinder blocks without a 1000-times-folded rubber sword.

oddeye
They are for training your bones how to break

infinite zest
Technically all these videos are training videos. Because what will YOU do when you're walking down the street and a 2 liter mountain dew bottle comes flying at you out of nowhere? Yeah I thought so.

misterbuns
butch queen lol
retrocious
They wisely left the pull ups to the younger generation
misterbuns
all two of them

oddeye
Wish I had saved my stars for the little knife slap fight.
Billy the Poet
Bring in the skinny dude to do a pullup.
Corpus Delectable
Cold steel? More like warm rubber, amirite?

Also, I was reminded of how pathetically out of shape I am just by watching this. The only thing that can be going through these guys' minds as they actually do this stuff is "Potbelly...POW...divorced...WHAM...erectile dysfunction...BLAMMO...lonely...KAPOW...unloved...SCHHHIINNGG...sc lerosis...SLAP...Cinnabon..."
oddeye
Fuck you Bobby McGee, fuck you Silvia Longhats, fuck you Mr. Brown and your gym class, fuck you Mum, fuck you Uncle Pete you ruined christmas every year, fuck the entire varsity quiditch team, fuck you DM Zanfel Lightfoot, fuck you starbucks, fuck you medieval knights cause samurai would murder you dead etc.

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