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Comment count is 70
MacGyver Style Bomb - 2014-12-28

Multiple levels of evil here.


Nikon - 2014-12-28

So, was there a pool on how long he'd avoid jail or prison?


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-12-28

I was betting on a mental institution but this is America and everyone that should be in a mental institution is now either homeless or in prison.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

The internet is disgusting.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

Didn't mean to make that a reply.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

@Rodents of Unusual Size

The depressing thing to me about this is that Chris-chan is the by product of a lack of exposition to autism, not just knowledge wise, but day to day living. If I were to say anything on the subject and how to find your way through it, I would have to say two things. 1. Understand addiction. A therapist I had didn't give the full disclosure, but their response to my one beer a month or less sounded like my condition was very susceptible to psychological/emotional addiction. 2. Being able to reveal the person's own emotions and intent to them in relation to everything else. That's no doubt the biggest difference between Chris and any other person with autism/asperger's. I believe there is a stage where everything is fine and you have a lot of energy, then you get into a situation that tells you something is wrong with you. If I recall correctly, they got a diagnosis, but left it up to faith to deal with him. So that's just a lovely box to put Chris-chan in with the thought that some how he WOULDN'T retain some horribly marred personality trait, as if he were to immediately understand where faith even applies.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-28

It depends on whether we're talking voluntary treatment or involuntary treatment. Involuntary institutionalization is itself a form of imprisonment, only without the same moral justification or the legal safeguards guaranteeing the prisoners' rights.

It would be nice if Chris could get treatment, and to the best of my knowledge, he *has* been getting it, ever since he was a child. But mental health providers can only do so much, and are only effective when the patient is willing; Chris is who he is, and it's up to him to decide how he measures his own quality of life.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-28

I guess an argument could be made at this point that Chris is a danger to himself and others, but really, he scribbled on a poster and spritzed mace on a guy's chest. It may or may not be *legally* considered assault, but come on - it's not like he's walking around stabbing babies and punching old people.


infinite zest - 2014-12-28

Yeah.. assault's assault though. If this had happened at a bar, well shit like this happens all the time, and of the two, a shot of Bacardi 151 to the eyes hurts a lot more than tear gas or mace. So technically, it's the location. I reluctantly had to go to the mall over the holidays and saw a few things that would constitute assault even if nobody was hurt. Things like a lovers' quarrel ending in someone soaked with Orange Julius, technically that's assault on private property. Even going up to someone you didn't know and flicked their ear or something is still assault.

It's difficult to say what will happen, given that it's doubtful anyone involved in the case knows what the fuck this debate is about, even if they're casual gamers themselves. Chances are they'd know more about a theoretical case where someone sharpied over the crossguard lightsabre on an Episode VII display than Sonic's arms. That, and testimony from internet folks, trolls or reliable sources, doesn't necessarily hold up in court.


Braze - 2014-12-28

what sort of person would waste an Orange Julius on some ho


infinite zest - 2014-12-28

Probably the same sort of person who would risk serious jail time over the color of Sonic the Hedgehog's arms..


Baron_Von_Bad_Beaver - 2014-12-30

@zest

Having had both sorts of things in my eyes, I'd say any kind of defensive spray hurts at least 10 times more and can last hours. Getting rum in the eyes stings a lot for a few minutes but once you flush it out you're fine. And drunk.


Cena_mark - 2014-12-28

This is really terrible. Its odd to think that he'd most likely be free had he not decided to carry the spray with him. What on earth made him think he needed to be packing? I knew the blue arms were really bugging him, but you'd think he'd have learned not to vandalize store displays since his Walmart banning. So much craziness and unanswered questions, and it only gets weirder, that's why I watch.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-28

If memory serves, I think he got thrown out of Target last month for pulling this same shit.


MacGyver Style Bomb - 2014-12-28

I guess being the punching bag of every other online idiot would make one paranoid. I mean, shit, they were even going through his garbage.

Not that this excuses his behavior. Vandalism and assault, caught on video no less. His freedom is gone, and that may be for the best.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

I suspect that he's a bit too deluded to get to that state of paranoia. Still evil as shit that people will take on harassing a mentally and emotionally incapacitated 30+ year old and call it legit all because they feel they can say he should know better.


Lef - 2014-12-28

Jail is hell. Don't think it's for the best. What he needs is mental health, not the dehumanizing environment of jail.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

I should clarify, he probably has been in a similar state, but doesn't understand the full view of the state. So he'd be presenting blurbs and pieces of that kind of paranoia, but not the full scale.


Kabbage - 2014-12-28

Shoebox is correct


EvilHomer - 2014-12-28

:0

Awww man, poor Chris. He's not still on probation from running THAT JEW over with his car, is he?


Cena_mark - 2014-12-28

No, the Snyder incident was back in 2011 and he had a year's probation.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

Apparently Chris's probation wasn't supposed to end 'til 2015.

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-chan-sighting-at-gamestop -with-video.6732/page-7

~Enormous Red Straw (A little below half the page)

"As Chris revealed to Colin circa September 2014, his probation for the Snyder incident doesn't expire until June 2015:"


infinite zest - 2014-12-28

Yikes. One of my neighbors violated his probation (drugs) in a sting at a college (surprise, selling drugs..) and I think he'll be locked up until 2020, and this was back in 2011. It was sad because I helped his mom move out all his stuff. He'll probably get out early for good behavior (really laid back guy like most drug dealers) something tells me that Chris Chan might be in there for a long, long time. :(


Jet Bin Fever - 2015-01-02

Didn't even think of the violating probation thing. I wonder how he'll survive in the big house.


Hooker - 2014-12-28

Well.


DerangedGoblin - 2014-12-28

Jesus...


spicediver - 2014-12-28

So what happens behind bars to male lesbians? I'm confused.


Oscar Wildcat - 2014-12-28

Conservation of angular momentum requires that as he approaches the bottom of the drain, he'll be circling faster and faster.


BiggerJ - 2014-12-28

Trivia about the CWCki forums - they use ther terms 'chimping' and 'chimping out' to describe socially unaceptable behavior from 'lolcows'... even though the term is racist. They seem to be trying to 'take it back' from racists, just like Randall tried to take back 'porch monkeys' in Clerks 2.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

Yeah, the forums are definitely giving me the same ubiquitous sense of self-entitlement and politically incorrect, I'm a special special cynical snowflake vibe that floats around the orgasm pools of congealed righteousness.


Scrimmjob - 2014-12-28

Why is it racist? As far as I'm concerned you can be any color and 'chimp out'. Besides that super racist chimpout website, I've never really been familiar with it as a racist term.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-28

I suspect it's racist because it goes directly with the double standards that a lot of closet and open racists have when using gentrification for their views. It doesn't sound that racist to me, but it's like George Carlin's Richard Pryor skit. It's not about the word, it's about the people who use that word. Since there's bigots using the word as a pejorative, there's a lot less gray area to give the use of it any slack.


MacGyver Style Bomb - 2014-12-28

The CWC forms are full of horrible people trying to convince themselves that they're not horrible.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-12-29

Devoid of any context, epithets involving apes/monkeys are usually thought to be targeted at minorities due to years and years of comparing them to such. From cartoons to justifications for slavery, racism, etc., dark-skinned minorities were compared to various primates to denote them as being sub-human.

Blame the white people who started the trend.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-12-29

Five stars for the bottomless vortex of self-righteous Internet hypocrisy that always begins with "Well at least I'm not as bad as tge guy who looks at the guy who looks at the guy who looks at the guy."

You are all here for the freak show as much as anyone on tge CWCipedia. At least they're honest enough to admit it.


Old_Zircon - 2014-12-29

I've watched maybe 3 CWC videos in my life, tops. They're sad and depressing.

I'm here for the freak show in the comments.


Baron_Von_Bad_Beaver - 2014-12-30

I find the people on the cwc forums to be for lack of a better term disgusting. Who in their right minds would treat this guy as mentally competent? And yet they feel the need to judge this person by his deeds as if he is, and all the crazy stuff he does are all because he's a lazy coddled and manipulative man-baby and all this would be solved if he only got a JERB. The man clearly cannot learn from his mistakes, there's no rational reason for his actions: he falls for the same ploys by trolls and bullies who then say "he's falling for the same tricks because he's such an awful person and he gets away with everything" while not realizing that he falls for these tricks because he's fucking autistic.

On a side note every chris chan video I see causes my bully instincts to kick in, that alone is a red flag to me that makes me question the moral righteousness of those who hate him so much.


Shoebox Joe - 2015-01-03

One thing I should mention, I've felt pretty sheltered most of my life and if it weren't for a few events in my life, I would've been just as bold and stupid as Chris-Chan.

Sexy Duck Cop, please don't go about that stupid circular apologetic logic about a forum that assumes having ambiguously offensive words out in the open will make anything easier to spot. That's just stupid and makes you look like a righteous cunt.


BiggerJ - 2015-01-03

Baron Von Bad Beaver: I don't know if there's any on the forums, but there are people out there who have become so jaded by all the people self-diagnosing themselves with autism as an excuse for their shitty behavior (and those genuinely autistic people who also use it as an excuse) that they have come to believe that high-functioning autism doesn't exist.


BiggerJ - 2015-01-05

Also: If you claim on the forums that it's all because of CHris's autism, you'll be called a white-knight. And if you claim it's all because of CHris himself, you'll be called an 'A-Log'. And they are not good at finding a middle ground. I think a lot of them just want the story of Chris to end - there was probably much groaning when he didn't get put in a mental hospital or group home the first time he went to court, and such a thing will probably never happen.


Scrimmjob - 2014-12-28

Free M̶u̶m̶i̶a̶ ... I mean CWC!


Gmork - 2014-12-29

FREE BLOWJOBS WUHHHHHH


cognitivedissonance - 2014-12-28

Underground criminal Christian Weston Chandler lives under the pseudonym "Chris-Chan" with her mentally ill, egg-loving father Bob, delinquent imaginary friend Sonichu, and traveling companion Rosechu. They all live together in a pink trailer in Virginia, in front of which can be found a pair of eponymous plastic pink flamingos. After learning that Chris-Chan has been named "the filthiest person alive" by a tabloid paper, jealous rivals Mary Lee Walsh and Clyde Cash set out to destroy her career but come undone in the process.

The Cashes run an "adoption clinic", which is actually a black market baby ring. They kidnap young women, have them impregnated by their manservant, Pickle-Man (who ejaculates off-camera), and sell the babies to lesbian couples. The proceeds are used to finance a network of dealers selling heroin in inner-city elementary schools. Clyde also gets money by exposing himself (with large kielbasa sausages tied to his penis) to unsuspecting women in a park and stealing their purses when they flee. The Cashes send a spy named Blanka Weiss in the guise of what Sonichu thinks is a date. In one of the film's most infamous scenes, the two of them have sex while crushing a live chicken between them as Rosechu looks on through a window. Blanka then informs the Cashes about Chris' real identity, her whereabouts, and her family, as well as information about her upcoming birthday party.

The Cashes send a box of human feces to Chris-Chan as a birthday present with a card addressing her as "Fatso" and proclaiming themselves "The Filthiest People Alive". Worried her title has been seized, Chris-Chan proclaims whoever sent the package must die and her two associates agree. Meanwhile, at the Cash's, Pickle-Man dresses up as Mary Lee and Clyde, wearing Mary Lee's clothes and imitating their earlier overheard conversations. When the Cashes return home, they catch Pickle-Man in the act and respond with outrage, firing him and locking him in a closet until they can return from their tasks and kick him out for good.

The birthday party begins as the Cashes arrive to spy on it. Chris-Chan receives an assortment of gifts, including lice shampoo, a pig's head, a PS4 and an axe. Later on, they all witness a topless dancing woman with a snake and a contortionist who flexes his anal sphincter in rhythm to the song "Surfin' Bird". One of the guests, the Egg Man, who delivers eggs to Bob daily, confesses his love for him and proposes marriage. He accepts his proposal and he carries Bob off in a wheelbarrow for a honeymoon around the egg industry. The Cashes, disgusted by the reveling, call the police, but this proves unsuccessful as Chris-Chan and the other party-goers kill the cops. Chris-Chan hacks up their bodies with the axe and the party-goers eat them.

After the party ends, Chris and Sonichu head to the Cash family's house, whose address they received from the local gossip Encyclopedia Dramatica, where they lick and rub everything in their house to spread their "filthiness", which excites them to the point of engaging in oral sex. Chris-Chan and Sonichu find Pickle-Man locked away, but they have no sympathy for him. Once they're in the basement, Chris-Chan and Sonichu use a large knife to cut the bonds and free the two captive women, then hand over the knife. The women emasculate Pickle-Man offscreen.

Meanwhile, Mary Lee and Clyde burn Chris-Chan's beloved trailer to the ground. Upon their return home they are troubled by the behavior of their furniture. Having been "cursed" by being licked by Chris and Sonichu, the furniture "rejects" the Cashes when they return home: when they try to sit, the cushions fly up, throwing them to the floor. They then find that Pickle-Man has bled to death from his castration and the two girls have escaped.

After finding the remains of the burned-out trailer, Chris and Sonichu return to the Cash's home. They take them hostage at gunpoint and return to the site of the trailer. Chris-Chan calls the local tabloid media to witness their trial and execution, as she proclaims her belief in "filth politics":
Sonic the Hedgehog does more than turn me on, it makes me cum. And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it. The taste of hot, freshly arranged hedgehogs...Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth are my politics! Filth is my life! Take whatever you like.

Chris-Chan holds a "kangaroo court", asks Rosechu and Sonichu for their biased testimony, and sentences the bound and gagged Clyde and Mary Lee to death for "first-degree stupidity" and "assholism". Chris sarcastically offers them the opportunity to speak on their own behalf, but they're of course gagged and they move straight to the execution. They tie the Cashes to a tree, coating them in tar and feathers. Chris-Chan then shoots them in the head and the media leave shortly afterward, satisfied with their scoop of a "live homicide". Chris, Sonichu, and Rosechu talk about where to base their seat of operations next and they enthusiastically decide to relocate to Boise, Idaho, site of a homosexual scandal a few years previously.

The legendary ending opens as Sonichu, Rosechu, and Chris-Chan walk down the street, where they spot a dog and its owner. They look at the dog excitedly and hungrily for some reason. Then the dog defecates on the sidewalk, and Chris-Chan sits down next to it. She takes the feces in her hand and puts them in her mouth, proving, as the narrator states, that she is "not only the filthiest person in the world, but is also the world's filthiest actress". She gags twice and grins at the camera.


Maggot Brain - 2014-12-29

Close, but I don't think John Waters would put some one with this much lack of style in on of his movies.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-29

Chris is John Waters stripped of all pretense. I'd love to see Mr Waters try and tackle a Sonichu film, but I'm afraid that Chris would be too much, even for him.

Cognitive, you may enjoy this:

http://youtu.be/QOQNXv0g77I


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-12-29

And yet Christian has already lived your skit before you could write it. It's like The Simpsons bathed in tragedy.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-30

Exactly. And he filmed that Pink Flamingos tribute in 2010, before he officially started crossdressing!

Chris is truly a visionary artist.


Jack Dalton - 2014-12-28

I have not really followed CWC for some time. He might be a man-child who does inexplicable things, but that was sort of amusing to a certain point. It is apparent that he will continue to be this person further into adulthood, and that makes me sad, both for his caretakers, and also that people will probably find it worthwhile to seek out his awkward and offensive exhibitionism for public consumption.


oddeye - 2014-12-28

It is pretty sad all around for just about everyone involved.


spikestoyiu - 2014-12-29

Good thing the security guard isn't a furry so we can laugh at the assault.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-29

Jesus christ, shut the fuck up Spikesotiouaeiou


spikestoyiu - 2014-12-29

MAKE ME, GAYLORD


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-29

I would but you're a furry.


StanleyPain - 2014-12-29

Who is laughing at the assault exactly?


Spaceman Africa - 2014-12-29

I can't wait for the inevitable Vice CWC documentary.


kingarthur - 2014-12-29

He's going to do so badly in county.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-12-29

I wonder if they'll take his vagina of his soul ring away.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-29

It's already gone. Apparently he got a couple infections, and had to remove the piercing in early December.


Jet Bin Fever - 2015-01-02

Jesus, I'm so glad I'm not his PCP.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-29

http://fav.me/d8bphx9

I am keeping it unlisted for now because A) it is not finished, and B) I do not want to come off as disrespectful or as attempting to cash in on tragedy.


Pillager - 2014-12-29

I feel bad for Barbera.


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2014-12-29

Missing a sarcasm tag?


Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-12-29

Barbara is a shitty person in her own right and horribly abused Chris' half-brother, the New York-based film critic Cole Smithy.


Crab Mentality - 2014-12-29

Update- Chris is out of jail, and has already made a facebook post where he confesses to everything, and blames it all on Sega.

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/chris-chan-facebook-post-about- arrest-and-assault-in-gamestop-29-dec-2014.6777/


EvilHomer - 2014-12-29

He's facing Class 6 Felony charges, and the first thing he says is:

"To preface what has happened recently, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue!!!"

I also love the part about hiding all the merchandise at Toys R Us and Best Buy.


Shoebox Joe - 2014-12-29

That was extremely painful to read. I don't think it's going to get any worse unless Barbera does anything. Chris-chan seems like he has a pretty big wall covering him.


infinite zest - 2014-12-29

The replies on his facebook seem like they're from pretty down to earth people. I know it's facebook so they could be from anywhere (only one of them so far appears to live near him in his home state) but it's good to know that he has some supportive friends during this time.


infinite zest - 2014-12-30

Like, think about something that you're really passionate about, and it changes completely, like when Dylan went electric. In that case, someone just shouted out "Judas" and that was that, but other musicians routinely get pelted with beer bottles and such by their old school fans after they've "sold out," and in some cases get their equipment fucked with. It might seem strange to us (and definitely the employees at GameStop,) but to Chris, Sonic as Sonic was a large part of his world, and now all the art, toys and whatever else he has isn't right. I'd imagine a lot of MLP fans would be pissed if they changed Applejack's hat from brown to red, and eventually someone would do something about it.. I dunno.. I'm not condoning his action but I can sort of put myself in his shoes by proxy.


EvilHomer - 2014-12-30

Bronies got really mad about changing Twilight from a unicorn into an alicorn, but to be fair, the issue was not so much the cosmetic change, but rather the shift in group dynamics. The show worked, in part, because there was no one "star" character; all six of the mane ponies were treated equally, and were just as important to the plot - you could have a favorite pony, and she'd be just as badass as the rest of them. Now Twi was always in danger of being treated as first-amongst-equals, as being a little too special and yoonique, so when she became a magical MareySue alicorn goddess for realsies, fans were legitimately worried that the show was about to go full Animal Farm. Fortunately, the writers salvaged things in Season Four: they knocked Twi down a few pegs and gave her very few showcase episodes, but the Season Three finale was still without a doubt the worst episode in the entire series so far (even counting Equestria Girls).

As for me, I'm sort of mad that NRS killed off Kitana, and will probably NOT buy the new Mortal Kombat game unless they bring her back. I've also stopped buying Elder Scrolls titles since they removed Acrobatics as a skill. I would never go so far as to conduct violent guerilla culture-jamming operations, of course, because that's stupid... or maybe I'm just lazy? As I said earlier, Chris is a man of convictions. His convictions may be petty, they may be misplaced, but he is the sort of person who is willing to fight and die for his beliefs. That's admirable! That is, I think, what really elevates him above most other eccentric internet people, what causes so many people to flock to his forums and hang on his every word. He's Ed Wood, a hopeless hero with no talent but boundless determination and an unshakeable vision. Sure, he's crazy, and that Facebook manifesto is... wow. Hoooollly shit. But I ask you all: how many of *us* would face Felony charges with the boldness and clarity of purpose that Chris is displaying?


Jet Bin Fever - 2015-01-02

There goes his government tugboat, floating away.


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