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Desc:Rotten Tomatoes gave this show 100%. My friend and I watched 10 episodes over two nights.
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:virginity, telenovela, CW, jane the virgin, detective story
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:01/25/15
Views:680
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Comment count is 14
John Holmes Motherfucker
Holy shit, this made it out of the hopper!
EvilHomer
Oh god. Could you give us a synopsis? I don't have time to watch just any old show, especially not a telenovela.

gambol
what
Jet Bin Fever
I'll give this series the benefit of the doubt... but I am skeptical of your taste I must admit, JHMF.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Let me see if I can explain the joke.

She's a virgin but she accidentally gets artificially inseminated by the sperm of her old boyfriend.

Just watch the wacky virgin hijinks ensue!

EvilHomer
She's a boyfriend-free girl who just wants to find a guypal who will make her into a sweetheart from the ground-up. But the Jerkops keep getting in the way of her Love Quest and now she's a frustrated Virgin with Rage. And a shotgun!

That's how I'd do it, at any rate.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>but I am skeptical of your taste I must admit, JHMF.

I repeat, 100 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes. That's 46 positive reviews, 0 negative reviews. Okay, just because me and every critic on the internet likes it, that doesn't mean it's good, but I think in the case, the benefit of the doubt is called for.

Rodents of Unusual Size
It needs more monsters and ninjas.

John Holmes Motherfucker
A synopsis? Oh Lord, no. Instead, a list of subplots.


In a universe guided by coincidence:

Jane is pregnant because the lesbian doctor who was supposed to take a pap smear was distraught to find her wife in bed with someone else.

Jane is on the outs with her fiance, and falling in love with the donor, a former spoiled rich kid, who changed his life after having cancer, and who can no longer father a child, so this is his last chance at a child.

He's also the first guy Jane ever kissed,

and the brother of the lesbian doctor who got Jane pregnant.

The doctor is so distraught about all this that she strikes up an old love affair with their father's current trophy wife

who later gets the doctor committed when she threatens to reveal the relationship.

Meanwhile Jane's ex fiance, a cop, is investigating a drug ring, run by the mysterious "Sin Rostro" the man without a face, and he is beginning to suspect the baby daddy, whose family own the hotel where Jane works, and some murders happen.

The baby Daddy's wife is a stunning scheming blonde with a mysterious past. She's being blackmailed, and is also manipulated by her evil mother, who is played by the actress who replaced suzanne sommers on "three's company". She was having an affair with one of the two men who as been murdered.

And in the meantime, Jane's father, who she never knew, has come into her life, and he turns out to be the star of the novella that Jane, her mother, and her grandmother all watch together. He's a sweet guy with a streak of vanity that masks an obvious insecurity, and he's falling in love with Jane's mother, and helping her pursue her singing career.

Jane's father has an ex wife, who's jealous of Jane's mom, and has two nasty little twin daughters, evil stepsisters like Cinderella's.

Jane is also a teacher at a catholic school, where the Mother Superior is exploiting her internet fame as the world's second pregnant virgin. People want to hug her in the hope of being granted a miracle.

This is the show that "Desperate Housewives" wished it could be.
EvilHomer
>> This is the show that "Desperate Housewives" wished it could be.

Ah. That's a shame.

That statement is roughly equivalent to revieiwng Big Bang Theory by saying "It's the show 'Friends', only with nerds!" Makes the show sound pretty awful, in an elegant sort of way.

EvilHomer
Also, it's worth pointing out that RottenTomatoes' Tomatometer is a somewhat unreliable metric; it only accounts for "the percentage of Approved Tomatometer Critics who have given the show a positive score". If you check the fine print, the actual score is only 7.6. Jane also fares less well amongst the general userbase, with an 86% Audience Score (again, only accounting for positive versus negative reviews, rounded off). And that's just RottenTomatoes. Metacritic gives it an 80%, while IMDB has it listed at 7.5. User Thebuzz gives Jane the Virgin a flat 0 rating, saying the following:

------
Just one word describes this (boring) who in his right mind would believe this story line....
Yes, I did watch it , boring teens getting pregnant by a doctor impregnate her with someone's else's baby making material, just repulsed me...
------

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>That statement is roughly equivalent to revieiwng Big Bang Theory by saying "It's the show 'Friends', only with nerds!"

It's not remotely the same
, but that's a pretty good description of the Big Bang Theory.
EvilHomer
It is too the same. You're trying to give a positive review of a show by likening it to a different, notoriously awful show. A show that is like Friends cannot be good. A show that is like Sex and the City, cannot be good.

If I recommended sticking your hand in a meat slicer, because it feels like what sticking your hand in a garbage disposal feels like, only better, what would you say to that?

John Holmes Motherfucker
Well, there's always room for monsters and ninjas.
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