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Category:Humor, Educational
Tags:gay, dating, Homosexuals, men, apps
Submitted:Maggot Brain
Date:01/23/15
Views:1854
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Comment count is 33
Scattersane
I have been propositioned by at least half of these guys.
infinite zest
Is Grindr really like that? I use Tinder, which is basically the hetero Grindr, and so far the only tit-pics I've received are so I can sign up for an online chatting service. "Your credit card #'s just to prove that you're an adult, you'll get in for free thru my profile, I swear.."
infinite zest
eh.. it cut out the rest of my comment. Weird. Anyway I've had really pleasant encounters on Tinder, and while it's pretty much understood that it's a one night stand kind of thing, it's never gotten raunchy and I've never been asked to take a picture of my dick, nor would I want to. Because my arms aren't long enough to zoom out enough to get the whole thing in frame Heyoooooo!

Rodents of Unusual Size
Grindr is the worst. It's all about Adam4Adam. Now THAT is an awesome site. (I don't really do apps).

From the friends I have who have shown me their Grindrs, I can only deduce gay men have finally flocked together to cum and lose their ability to spell anything correctly ever again.

jangbones
stars for rous

cognitivedissonance
Grindr is really bad, and particularly since I am not good enough for Grindr I have to either think about going to Growlr (FOR BEARS GET IT) or fatty fetish pics on Tumblr.

Maggot Brain
Grindr is kind of hit or miss with it's selection of man and has a tendency to crash all the time. Jack'd doesn't have the crashing issue but err~ Jack'd's interface is kind of dull on the eyes and it's mostly the same guys from Grindr.

infinite zest
I have a tendency to fall in love really quickly with people I meet on Tinder or OKC, and then I'll notice that someone I hooked up with on Tinder is on OKC and SIGNED IN THAT DAY!?! and oh yeah I signed in too. They're all pretty flawed. OKC's nice because you get more than just a face and a self-description as long as a tweet, but they also want you to pay so you can know who "likes you", shit like that. Tinder's free and is just kinda fun when you're otherwise occupied at work or on the toilet. I said it before but if you're going to pay for an online dating service "for the price of a cup of coffee a day", just go the fuck out and get a cup of fucking coffee every day. You'll probably bump into the person of your dreams after accidentally taking each others' macbooks home by mistake or something.

fedex
I saw that movie!

Nominal
I have the same attitude about online dating but with time instead of money.

magnesium
So just like straight guys act on dating apps?
infinite zest
Do dudes really act that way? I'm tempted to create a fake tinder account just to find out. Usually if I meet a girl via Tinder we talk about Tinder first and how it's weird, and the girls are pretty candid about showing me their other messages. Some of them are like "hey sexy" or "wanna get together tonight" but never anything like "DTF" or a dick-pic, or a descriptive sexual message.

BroodMother
I recommend following "bye felipe" on instagram...it's all screenshots of men being dicks to women on dating apps.

Nominal
The shirtless bathroom mirror pic is in every guy's profile.

The picture I've gotten the best response from is the obviously fake picture of my head pasted onto an olympian body in the bathroom mirror.

blue vein steel
took me a minute to get that he was saying "Masc" as in masculine, and therefore understanding the joke.
That guy
I think I was slower than most of the site on that joke too.
It was one of the better jokes on this.

Or maybe I *just* *don't* *get* *it*.

Hooker
Gay apps like Grindr or gay apps like Candy Crush?
oddeye
They're ALL gay apps.

Rodents of Unusual Size
If I was to add from the hall of fame from "things guys have said to me in chat" I would have to go with:

"My kids are going to sleep soon. Wanna come over and fuck me? My wife's out of town tonight."

"I'll pay you 0 to come over and punch me in the stomach."

"Hey I saw you in (name of place I worked) I like to watch you sometimes but I can't tell you who I am."


These were all just introductions....
cognitivedissonance
I had a guy ask me to stand on his ribcage. I told him that would likely result in a murder charge.

Jet Bin Fever
You lucky fellow you! And that was me by the way.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I'm so glad I have a boyfriend and don't have to put up with this shit anymore.

infinite zest
0? Just for a punch in the stomach? Damn!

Here's a list of my last 3 introductions on Tinder..

"I was at Ikea yesterday which was a zoo like always, but half off weird Swedish food I can't pronounce!"

"I gain perspective every morning when I drive by all the missions in Old Town and see the masses of the disenfranchised."

"So, have you seized Friday yet?"

Tinder's boring.

Rodents of Unusual Size
well actually he started off at 50 bucks and then kept offering until it was 0 but you get the idea. I got a "this might be a serial killer" vibe that time.

infinite zest
Yeah.. good move. I always suggest a public place like a coffee shop or a bar.. one time I had a first date at my house, because it was her birthday and I wanted to make her pancakes, but the apartment complex was very open and it was summer, so I'd just be out in the parking lot with some beers, and my housemates would be there too.. plus we kinda knew the same people. But even then I felt weird, like, how would she know that I'm not Buffalo Bill or something. She was cool for a little while but her Xanax dependency made it difficult and we broke up. Fastest move-in move out record, for me anyway. She moved in all of her stuff the next day and moved out 2 weeks later. Weird.

StanleyPain
Funny, but I don't see how any of this is a "gay" thing. Straight dating apps and websites can be just as fucked up.
SolRo
It's a thing because there's a general stereotype that -all- gay men are fit, have good fashion sense and are very polite/sensitive.

infinite zest
That's definitely something that goes both ways, pardon my pun. You never see a "regular" looking couple on commercials for e-harmony or match.com, or even zoosk. Since the sites are mainly aimed at men seeking women and not the other way around, sometimes the guy can be a little bit overweight, but the girls are more-or-less model material. Even worse is Cougarlife.com. Because all hot moms look like Demi Moore..

Nominal
all HOT moms, yes

Grandmaster Funk
Like most feminist-flavored cold-reads, that didn't really sound credible so I pulled up one of the first eharmony commercials I could find. You be the judge:

https://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=y7iGbseGeS0


I'll venture to say that what you're actually observing is that "more-or-less model material" for women means above the 70th percentile or so. For men, to be judged equally attractive, you'd have to be at the 95th percentile and up. Of course if you pair up a man and woman of equal comparative attractiveness for their gender, you're going to see the woman as easier on the eyes and feel a vague sense that he "doesn't deserve her" somehow. Beauty is just an emotion experienced in the observer, a chemical state which undoubtedly serves evolutionary function.

infinite zest
Yeah.. I haven't seen that one but it's an 11 year old ad. That's a very realistic ad but since then they've gone into model territory, maybe because these other sites and apps didn't exist yet. Fuck, I broke up with my ex wife for a week and thought using Friendster for a week was a good idea back then.

infinite zest
Here's more what I was referring to, which seems to be the norm these days.

http://youtu.be/L5-XwswH6_4

jreid
Parts of this are funny, but at the same time it's all fucking viral marketing bullshit so fuck that and fuck Jack'd.
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