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Desc:Nick Bravo: I have two key success teachings that my haters don't want you to know.
Category:Educational, Humor
Tags:motivational speaker, self-help, trolls, nick bravo
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:01/28/15
Views:841
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Comment count is 11
oddeye
Who voted this CRAP up huh?!

WHO!?!?
EvilHomer
*sniff* ty

yogarfield
So has his output been consistent lately? I've been away from the internet for a month or two.
EvilHomer
Yes, it has. He was in hiding for almost a year, but he started producing content again back in December or so. He's in one of his manic phases right now, this time defined by a sudden obsession with self-help guru and notorious huckster, Tony Robbins. He's been spending a significant portion of his can-recycling money on Mr Robbins' seminars, which probably explains the tone and general direction of this video. Nick's New Years resolution was to make a quarter million dollars - perhaps motivational speaking is how he intends to realize this goal? *Being* conned is something that he has a lot of experience in, and while that doesn't necessarily translate into an ability to *do* a con, he's clearly been picking up some tricks. The gears are turning.

The sad part is, I actually do think that Nick has both the attitude and the linguistic intelligence to be a successful self-help con man. Unfortunately, he doesn't have ANY of the charisma or the savvy. Being a motivational huckster is all about getting people to like you. Nick, however, has a sort of anti-charisma; he's almost supernaturally good at getting people to hate him. Add to that the funny voice (motivational speakers need to be powerful orators), the weird face (I don't like to judge Nick for his looks because that is something he can't help, but this career field is stacked with square-jawed, buff chested alpha males for a reason), and the total lack of any outward indicators of success - Asian Money Guy wouldn't be anywhere near as convincing if, instead of mansions and hot bikini girls, he hung out in the woods with his pup tent and a cold tin of baked beans. If Nick was still doing handyman work, he might be able to shoot videos like this in the backyard of whatever McMansion he's getting three dollars to fix - nobody has to know it's not HIS mansion. But of course he can't even manage that.

If I were Nick, given all the strengths and weaknesses of his position, I'd change tack. Still pursue the motivational thing, but *play up* the disability angle! Slur my words really badly, get a fake wheelchair, practice drooling a lot. Assuming he shut up and just sat there instead of opening his yap and making people hate him, then Nick could easily cast himself as one of those "sympathetic disabled people" that daytime TV shows love to feature - kids with leukemia and people born without faces, they can inspire audiences just the same as confident young doctors with important messages about raw food nutrition! Perhaps Nick could even get on Oprah and use the opportunity to hawk a book or something?

Self-gurus invariably take the Alpha route, and there's no way Nick's product could ever compete directly with those people. So why not go the other direction, and carve out a new niche as the world's first proactive, self-help Epsilon?

SteamPoweredKleenex
I can't believe Tony Robbins is still in business. He looks like the love child of Richard Kiel and Ted "Lurch" Cassidy, and his pop psychology/guru BS are about as impressive as a "psychic" doing a cold reading on a room full of daytime TV viewers.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Homer's analysis of Nick is pretty spot-on. Homer, does it ever worry you that you seem to understand freaks like Chris-Chan and Nick as you do?

Anaxagoras
The "pathetic guy in a wheelchair" act is antithetical to everything Nick wants. Pity is the exact opposite of envy, and he would fly into a rage the first time somebody bought his con & pitied him.

gmol
Take these Evilhomer, you deserve them more than I do.

Jet Bin Fever
Here is a man who lives completely inside a protective bubble of delusion and spite.
Rafiki
Man, that preload. Imagine waking up in the morning and that was looking over you.

And then you realize you can't move your arms and legs.
Anaxagoras
Also: holy shit, I never realized just how dumb this man is.
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