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Desc:Some of these covers feature naked people.
Category:Arts, Educational
Tags:worst, NSFW, swamp dogg, album covers, albums
Submitted:Spit Spingola
Date:02/04/15
Views:1927
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Comment count is 21
EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
YEAH BIG BEAR DOIN THANGS!!!

They hit some real classics in the field of Worst Album Covers of All Time! I'm impressed! There's a lot fewer Dansbands than I expected (where the fuck are the Cool Candys?) but I guess they were trying to keep a broad cross-section of styles and nationalities.
EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
Well, they have a couple seconds of the Gert Jonnys, at least. Some of these covers I've never seen before, and *a lot* of these tracks I've never heard before (that's one of the great curses of Terrible Album Cover appreciation; it's often a pain in the ass to track down what the bands actually sound like). I'm honestly curious to learn more about The Handless Organist, and Dan Crary is actually quite nice! Goofy album cover, but dude can clearly shred.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
Hell yeah, I'm marking for Dan Crary from now on. Big Bear Doin Thangs is still the best Terrible Album Cover, but that balding bastard Crary has some fucking chops.

What do the rest of you think? Which is your favorite Terrible Album Cover, poetv?

infinite zest - 2015-02-04
Mine's still Scoprions' Fly to the Rainbow. I'm happy that Viper made the list, but Viper rules and so does that album cover.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
Fly to the Rainbow is pretty bad, sure, but it's hand drawn! That extra bit of effort, if nothing else, gives it more points than Doin Thangs.

Speaking of Doin Thangs, that was one of the albums I "borrowed" (ripped off) for my friends' band's EP cover many, many years ago. poeTV's Jared Sloan fans might remember it as one of the bands J-dogg was associated with in the early days of his metal career! Or not. The band didn't really go anywhere, and I'm not even sure if J-dogg actually played with them. IIRC he jammed with the guitarists a few times, but didn't play any live shows, and wasn't on the EP or unreleased album.

I've still got some of the drafts kicking around on my old harddrive, in case anyone's curious: http://fav.me/d8gpnen (click the "download" button for better resolution) Pretty much all of the pictures, aside from the Motley Crue parody, were lifted from the old LJRIG on poe-Red (godbear I miss that thing). The lightning bolt sunset on the upper right was the cover which actually went to printing, but the Doin Thangs edit is also there, on the left.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
-edit- Yeah, I just checked his EncyMetallum page, and it's not listed on his past bands. The drummer and bassist from Nethereal were in that one, as was the rhythm guitarist from an earlier band, Ariakan, but J was not.

Jimmy Labatt - 2015-02-04
Metal Church - Hanging In The Balance.


Accept no substitutes.

infinite zest - 2015-02-04
Royal Trux - Sweet Sixteen is up there for me too, but it's a great album. Speaking of Doin Thangs, I was working at a record store in 2001 or so and was obsessed. Every time I was at work by myself I'd go and switch someone's "pick of the week" with the one Doin Thangs we received at the store and see how long before they noticed.

infinite zest - 2015-02-04
And this list left off pretty much anything "indie" altogether, like Deerhoof - Milkman. Great album great band horrible horrible cover. Some of these- just a guy gazing slightly away from the camera or whatever- are no different than Harry Nilsson, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, David Bowie, they were just non-famous guys gazing slightly away from the camera or whatever.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-05
I don't know about Deerhoof, IZ, their album covers match their music perfectly. Also, I think the joke with the gazong slightly away covers is that the people on these particular covers are hideously ugly.

infinite zest - 2015-02-07
I dunno.. attractiveness wise I don't see that much of a difference..

http://tinyurl.com/nz6qzj8

http://tinyurl.com/p5gxbtx

http://tinyurl.com/ybo4y4h

http://tinyurl.com/ozh2apm

I mean, if I was on Grindr I'd probably swipe right.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-04
Ken Snyder (the guy behind "Ken - By Request Only") actually looks like what would happen if you took a video game character from the first Mass Effect game and somehow brought them into real-world existence.

His 'stache and haircut are low-poly masterworks.
Old_Zircon - 2015-02-04
I don't know, a lot of these are really good album covers and there are plenty of worse album covers that never make it on this list.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-04
The selection process was rather difficult.

A record had to be pressed and an awful cover made. Then at least one of them had to survive remainder bins, being stored in attics/basements, and avoiding being tossed out as trash. Then the internet had to be invented, which is most of the battle right there. Really, it's a wonder any of them made it to the finals.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-04
Argentina Coral is pretty hot, and Shut Up and Dance is a legitimately cool album cover. The rest are fairly crap.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2015-02-04
I will not stand for "Fresh White Reeboks Kickin Your Ass" being called a bad album cover
sasazuka - 2015-02-04
The only song I recognized was Orleans, "Still the One".

Well, maybe the Heino one was also a bit familiar, but Heino was someone I knew mainly as an Internet meme anyhow.
sasazuka - 2015-02-04
Tijuana Christmas actually sounds like an album I'd like. Like a Mexican-themed Mannheim Steamroller Christmas album.

That guy - 2015-02-05
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
spikestoyiu - 2015-02-05
I kinda want to hear a lot more of Shut Up and Dance.

Kevin Rowland was the lead singer from Dexy's Midnight Runners. I forgot he did that.
Vaidency - 2015-02-10
I'm sure many other wonderfully terrible covers are forever lost, but at least these beat the odds to somehow make it onto the internet.
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