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Desc:Pete Holmes as Prof X fires the most overrated X-man.
Category:Humor
Tags:xmen, gambit, Pete Holmes
Submitted:Nominal
Date:02/18/15
Views:1240
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Comment count is 25
cognitivedissonance
I had a whole arc in Adorabledoglings where Gambit killed Magneto because he's the only one not smart enough to know not to kill Magneto.
cognitivedissonance
This reminds me to compile my "The Penguin's Perpetual Drunken Existential Crisis" series into an ashcan.

EvilHomer
Do you have a link to this arc?

takewithfood
The outtakes video is even better.
EvilHomer
Oh fuck off, Gambit is the best X-men and you know it.
EvilHomer
Well, besides Jubilee I mean, but that should go without saying.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I loved how the 90s series started off with her and we're being introduced to the X-men through her eyes, and then they just...kind of forgot about her.

EvilHomer
Jubilee was too good for that show. Jubilee and Gambit both.

infinite zest
Yeah I always liked that version more than Rogue as a young girl. Plus it kind of fucks with the natural timeline. Sure, Wolfie and Deadpool can live forever, and the past can be altered, but as far as I know the rest of the X-Men age like normal people do, which means that Rogue was this little innocent girl (kinda like Jubilee) at the same time she was supposed to be some sort of Calamity Jane-type full-grown woman. Other comics are usually able to write their way around that by being like "oh there were lots of batmans at different points in time" but as far as I know there was just one Rogue.

Nominal
That was the framing device used for every "first" X-man show.

1980s stand alone cartoon: Shadowcat
1990s series: Jubilee
2000 movie: Rogue

yogarfield
Thomas Middleditch as Gambit is inspired.
blue vein steel
gambit does suck, but to be fair, there is always stuff to throw, and being able to turn a rock into a hand grenade can be useful.
Bort
Hey, his kinetic charging power aside, he has his reflexes, agility, fighting skills, thieving ability, verbal persuasion mutant power, and ...

... no, never mind, Gambit still sucks.

EvilHomer
Since when did a superhero's worth stop being measured by his *story*, and start being measured by *how OP his powers can get*? All this focus on, oooo, this guy's power is worthless, this guy's power is better, you all are missing the DANG POINT!

Batman? Batman HAS no superpowers. He's fit and he's intelligent and he's got an awful lot of money to throw around, but there's nothing inherently "special" about him beyond his exceptional drive for justice and revenge. And yet I think we can all agree that Batman is a thousand times more interesting than Superman, a dumb Gary Stu who has every power and no flaws and can punch a planet into the sun if he wanted to.

Gambit has plenty of powers. He has just as many powers as he needs to, and when blowing shit up doesn't work (CONFLICT), he can fall back on his social skills, his cleverness, and his Peak Human athletic abilities. And, when he's not solving crimes and fixing problems, he can use his mutant Cajun charm to mack it with all the HBs. What's Professor X gonna do with his free time, huh? What's Wolverine up to, besides brooding angstily in some dumb forest somewhere, NOT getting tail?

"Gambit sucks". Pffff, I bet you dorks hate Beast, because all Beast can do is swing around like a monkey, but love Cabal, because Cabal's got, like, an infinite number of futuristic guns and shit.

Bort
Gambit sucks because they try way too hard to make him cool and charming, from his oily personality and his crappy Franche aczen' to the trench coat and cigarettes. And yes, when he first appeared, he did have the actual mutant power to captivate you with the magical charisma of his words, which nerds will recognize as Claremont giving himself an excuse to fill up panel after panel with ever denser word balloons.

I will contrast this with the apotheosis of cool in comics, Dick Grayson. In some ways he's Gambit minus the mutant abilities so that makes this a direct comparison; but what makes Dick appealing is that he is genuinely good-natured and compassionate with no effort at being cool. You can tell a story with Dick Grayson where he does nothing more than carry a baby through the desert and it's still a good read, because you know he will die before letting anything happen to the baby and he's got nothing to work with except determination. With Gambit the story would revolve around "got just enough energy for one more t'row; better make it count Remy" and exploding / exposing a water source.

About Superman: I swear they've forgotten what makes Superman appealing, and we haven't seen the "real" Superman in decades. The three things that a good Superman story should have (IMHO), in order:

1. Superman is there for anyone who needs him; nobody is beneath his notice, and assuming there isn't a death robot rampaging through Metropolis, Superman will make the time.

2. Superman inspires people to try to be better people and to help one another.

3. Superman uses his powers in clever ways.

These days, about all we get is Superman fighting things from distant dimensions that are physical challenges to him, and that's boring as shit. But all the stories that people seem to like best about him are the ones where he is more kind than powerful; imagine that.

oddeye
Evilhomer makes a point, I would rather be Gambit than Wolverine even if I would be less powerful or whatever cause I would get laid and I'd be taller.

Besides mutants/whatever are as powerful as the story wants thembto be, you can't look at a powerset in isolation and say "shit cause x, y, z"

EvilHomer
I don't know, Bort. Dick Grayson is hardly the worst superhero (he's better than Cyclops, I'll give him that), but I find it hard to see how you can be called "the apotheosis of cool" when your superhero resume reads "1940-1984: served as Batman's twink".

Bort
It's the 21st century and we no longer regard it as a sign of unmanliness that Batman kept a boy in a cave in his underpants. Ever since the 1940s, Robin has been absolutely wrecking the shit out of shit:

http://absorbascon.blogspot.com/2007/02/goofus-gallant.html

And a strange thing happened when the "Teen Titans" cartoon came out in the early 2000s: kids were getting introduced to this "Robin" character with no idea what his background was, but all they knew is that he was kicking ass like nobody's business. They get it: Dick Grayson is cool. (And I've heard of at least a few kids whose jaws dropped when older relatives casually informed them, "Robin? Oh yeah, he's Batman's crimefighting partner.")

blue vein steel
EvilHomer, everyone hates cabal. I have heard more defenses of Longshot than Cabal

EvilHomer
>> It's the 21st century and we no longer regard it as a sign of unmanliness that Batman kept a boy in a cave in his underpants.

Sure, it's not a sign of unmanliness *in Batman*; he's the top, it's all fun for him! But we are not talking about whether Batman is cool, we all know this to be the case; rather, it is *Robin's* coolness that is in dispute! As the Ancient Greeks and Romans established, shame came not from being the penetrator, but from being the penetratee.

Your post raises two further problems for the Boy Wonder. First, since when was being "the Gallant" considered to be a mark of one's coolness? This is the 21st century, and we no longer regard Gallant as anything more than a prissy tight-assed lamewad, a jerk to be resented and hated. Goofus is our ironic hero in this age of cynicism and slacking - Aqualad is clearly the cool kid in the page you cited, not Dick, the straight-laced boyscout. And second, "Teen Titans"? "Teen Titans"?! Robin was the Leonardo of Teen Titans! The Cyclops, if you will. Nobody likes Leonardo, nobody likes Cyclops. They like Raphael or Wolverine; they like Raven.

Bort
Aw c'mon -- killing animals twice your size isn't cooler than being afraid of fish? Defeating Nazis with nothing more than a good throwing arm and a sense of irony isn't cooler than, well, whatever the hell Aqualad does?

As for which Titans are cool, I seem to recall the episode where they all -- including Raven -- dressed up as Robin while he was away. I forget what exactly he was doing, but there are probably a dozen Balkan war criminals in the hospital as a result.

oddeye
What if there's no metal about? Magneto, you're fired!
SolRo
EXPLOSIVE POCKET SAND!
Gunny McRifleson
"Indubitably."
Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
This guy is just ... not funny, imo
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