I've been extremely worried about Putin as of late. I'm sure Russev's defeat over John Cena at Fast Lane has further emboldened him.
:: cut to a LEGO model of Moscow, populated by shirtless wrestler toys and My Little Pony dolls ::
"The City of VVPville, Russia, a vibrant community with happy people, cool chicks, and an average number of cool places to chill at! AND NO HOMOS OR DANG CHECHENS, da- damn them all to hell."
(Putin raises his fist and shakes it limply at the camera)
Sexy Duck Cop
"Mr. Whatever Your Position Is, we have encountered a troll front moving 30 KM south of Kiev. They have amassed a blockade of Boyfriend-Free Girls To Make Into A Sweetheart From The Ground Up to prevent our ships from entering the port of Tartarus!"
"Let me have sex with all of them."
"But sir! I just informed you they were trolls, not real BFGTMIASFTGU!"
"*sigh* I guess...I guess we have to support, support Bashar al-Assad some more...*sigh* dang dirty trolls. The Syrian civil war is on you. It's on YOU!"
Oh man... if this was Something Awful, we'd have a web series of this up within a week. Fucking hell.
His actions would make more sense if he was locking up homosexuals for his own personal use and restricting their ability to get drivers licenses so they can't get away.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
And by "your support" he actually means a bunch of dicks.
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