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Desc:Willy Moon and Natalia Kills go crazy in front of a live audience.
Category:Fashion, Horror
Tags:crazy, X Factor, rant, Willy Moon, Natalia Kills
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
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Comment count is 50
Discordia - 2015-03-17
No clue who these people are nor why I should care. Only watched because I was busy stirring my macaroni and cheese.
jreid - 2015-03-17
I have a vague sense of what xfactor is, but I'm one of those "I don't watch TV" assholes and I can't bring myself to give a fuck about this celebrity circlejerk. 3 for the Evil of mediocrity, I guess.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-03-17
What brand of maraconi and cheese is it?

infinite zest - 2015-03-17
I was making macaroni and cheese when I saw this. I got so caught up in it that I forgot to stir. Fuck you X Factor.

Cube - 2015-03-18
I'm pretty sure the US is the only country that considers macaroni and cheese a complete meal. Isn't it just flour and fat? That's just stuff you add to food sometimes. WHERE'S THE ACTUAL FOOD?

EvilHomer - 2015-03-18
You know what are good? Roland Truffle Mac & Cheese. They're twice the price of storebrand Mac & Cheese, but they're actually quite tasty!

If I have no clue who these people are, either, nor why I should care. I have many questions about it though, such as: why is Priya Rai on a judging panel? What happened to her tits? Who is Priya's husband, and why is he apparently the only guy who wears a suit and tie?

I'm guessing her husband is Judge Wraith, and she's mad because this singer guy isn't wearing his regulation grey sweatsuit, but Bingham Madsen's "Throat Slitty Varity Hour" is coming on in a minute and I'd rather spend my hard-pedaled merits watching that, than Googling this X-factor nonsense and risk getting adverts for it on my telescreen.

Meerkat - 2015-03-18
Canada is famous for her Kraft Dinner.

infinite zest - 2015-03-18
I like Road's End brand. It's not as cheap as Kraft (right now it's 3 for 5 bucks) but it's vegan and doesn't taste like vegan shit. But I always add chili or at least black beans or something and make chili mac!

baleen - 2015-03-18
" I was busy stirring my macaroni and cheese."

Upload video or it didn't happen.

baleen - 2015-03-18
Also real Americans add peas to their mac and cheese. And real cheese.
That's a balanced meal.

memedumpster - 2015-03-18
I hope it wasn't Kraft, that shit just got recalled for having chunks of metal in it.

Kroger deli mac and cheese is my favorite.

Scrimmjob - 2015-03-18
I personally put tuna or sliced up hot dogs in my mac and cheese, and the brand doesn't matter, but I prefer the powder to the velveta plastic style cheese.

infinite zest - 2015-03-18
There's this place I like to go to that makes the best vegan mac and cheese. In fact when I still did dairy it was still the best:


I seriously don't know what they do. Basically the kind I eat you could pepsi challenge with Kraft, or maybe even Annies, but trying to use actual vegan "cheese" and elbow macaroni never works right for me.

Mister Yuck - 2015-03-18
The best place to get Mac and Cheese is The Lockdown in Chicago. They make their own kimchi and you can have 'em put it in there. It's a good combo. Then you can go across the street to The Empty Bottle and watch a buncha bands for cheap. It's the best.

Scrimmjob - 2015-03-18
The Empty Bottle is a great spot! cans of Hamms! Never been to the lockdown though. Drank some fucked up liquor called Malort in a neighborhood bar run by an older polish woman down the street from there.

infinite zest - 2015-03-18
I love the Lockdown. I used to live in a suburb of Chicago (Milwaukee, Wisconsin) and went down to the Empty Bottle for shows frequently. Never ordered any food tho. Makes me miss Bell's Two Hearted, and pretty much anything Goose Island. I really missed out on good Chicago cuisine. Whenever we'd go down there we'd always just get a quick bite at the Sbarros or something by the train station.. except for one time.. we went to the Pitchfork fest and basically got lost downtown on the way back. Everything was closed and it's like Subway, Dunkin Donuts, next block, Subway, Dunkin Donuts.. seriously they're on like every block. Then we heard the faint sounds of Iggy Pop's Funhouse coming from somewhere so we followed it and wound up at some weird divebar in the middle of downtown. I think it was called Manhattans? Their food was like the best bar food I'd ever had (and I eat a lot of bar food) and PBR was a buck. AND the bartender gave us whiskey shots on the house. We looked for the place again on the second night of the festival and found out that that night was their final night and it was gone. It was almost like it was just there for us. Chicago rules.

infinite zest - 2015-03-18
Hmm.. I looked it up, and yeah that was the place! But maybe they opened back up again, because this was like 2007 I think and some of the reviews are from 2013 with people complaining about the prices?!? But now they're closed again.

infinite zest - 2015-03-19
Mmmm.. Polish food. That's another thing I really miss about the midwest that I can't find out in Portland, even though there's a large Russian and Polish population: Perogis, or Potato Dumplings. There used to be this place next door to where I worked called Pel Meni (I think they had one in Chicago too but it was a really small chain) that was open until 4AM and had a big record collection just sitting out that you could play and even exchange.. it was the perfect post-bar (or for me, post-work) munchies. This thread has made me hungry, and I forgot entirely what the X-Factor judges were talking about. By "Freak Out" I'm expecting chairs to fly and hair to be pulled.

Discordia - 2015-04-02
Annies shells and cheddar. My favorite.

Old_Zircon - 2015-03-17
"Do you not have any value or respect for originality?"

Too many layers of irony to bother unpacking.

Also this guy sounded way out of tune from the first key change on to me.
kingarthur - 2015-03-17
Eh, he's not that bad. The feeling matters more than the technicality in a live performance to me. He's not so far off he's unlistenable.

kingarthur - 2015-03-17
He actually reminded me of Spandau Ballet...

And who in the hell in New Zealand is going on about how much of a world wide star she is?

Sheep outnumber the people, girl. Outside of Auckland, Christchurch, and Wellington it's all barefoot rednecks and Maori.

TheOtherCapnS - 2015-03-17
Willy Moon: the apparently immortal first person to ever wear a suit and have parted hair.

yogarfield - 2015-03-17
Nailed it, OZ. Too much shit to sift through, and he sang flat the entire time.

yogarfield - 2015-03-17

and really, how far can any of you make it into this sheep shite?

kingarthur - 2015-03-18
If i was immortal and had unlimited resources, i'd probably live in Auckland too.

baleen - 2015-03-18
This entire show is scripted and total bullshit and all I can think of when I watch it or its clones is Black Mirror.

Old_Zircon - 2015-03-18
He's not bad at all, I was just surprised that he had so much support from the rest of the people since technically precise delivery of creatively bankrupt material is usually the stock in trade of shows like this.

Old_Zircon - 2015-03-18
"Not bad at all" for a 21st century TV talent show, I mean. He had a decent voice despite the intonation but he didn't sound like the understudy for the lead in an off-broadway production of the Lion King musical, so in the context of these shows it was a daring performance I guess.

Old_Zircon - 2015-03-18
Baleen, all I can think of when I watch most TV is Black Mirror.

memedumpster - 2015-03-18
The White Bear episode made me sick to my stomach in a new and surprising way. A deep, sticky, sick to my stomach powered by dread and horror.

The hilarity of episode one really sets you up for a hellish plummet and I still haven't gotten the courage to watch the Christmas episode.

Hooker - 2015-03-17
Truly, hopelessly, tragically horrible people.
Hooker - 2015-03-17
Hahahaha. These two were fired from a reality show for, and I'm quoting here, "intolerable behaviour." Truly, who among us could claim to have accomplished such a feat?

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-03-17
That's like a country's air force giving an enemy pilot a medal for crashing his own plane so many times.

Jet Bin Fever - 2015-03-18
New Zealand is more progressive than we thought. I thought someone would have to fuck a sheep on stage to get fired from something like this.

Kabbage - 2015-03-17
Getting fired from a reality show is some next-level douchery.
The Mothership - 2015-03-17
So I don't watch this stuff so I have no idea what is going on here. Why is that woman being so mean to that poor kid who can't sing? Why is that man also expelling so much venom?

Kid can sure take a punch though.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-03-17
I'm going to go out on a limb and say they are both drug addicts.

StanleyPain - 2015-03-17
I don't watch X Factor, but I think they tragically misjudged how to get some flash-in-the-pan fame from being edgy and oh-so-nasty on one of these shows and just being weird and shitty to the point where even the show wouldn't tolerate them anymore.

The Mothership - 2015-03-17
That's a scary thought Stanley, I hope you're wrong.

EvilHomer - 2015-03-18
I second SP's hypothesis. The X-factor format is old hat now and everyone involved in this show knows how the dance works; these two human approximations probably figured they should ad-lib some Simon stuff, and this bizarre exchange was the result.

spikestoyiu - 2015-03-18
About what I would expect out of someone who A) chooses to call themselves "Natalia Kills" and B) dresses like they bought all of their clothes at a Lady Gaga garage sale.

On the other hand, what did this dude expect by wearing a suit and having hair? That style so clearly originated with Wally Moon or whatever. He's just lucky he didn't perform in a blazer and jeans, otherwise he would have felt the full wrath of Hank Scorpio.
Potrod - 2015-03-18
Wally Moon is this way cooler guy: http://www.7th-inningstretch.com/60ToppsWallyMoon.jpg

spikestoyiu - 2015-03-18
Holy shit. It's like they thawed a dude out to play baseball.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-03-18
Holy shit, that unibrow itself could hit a ball out of the stadium.

Jet Bin Fever - 2015-03-18
TL:DW, Any man that dresses in a suit with sculpted hair is ripping off the completely original style and look of her husband, who wants to wear someone's face and stab people.
OxygenThief - 2015-03-18
Uh Natalie, you're supposed to take off the makeup from the previous day before putting on some more.
TheOtherCapnS - 2015-03-18
She lost her record contract, and he obviously doesn't have great prospects out of his country, so my guess is they just decided to follow in the footsteps of so many reality show people before them and become pop culture heels.
EvilHomer - 2015-03-18
Who is she, anyway? And who is the guy, for that matter?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-03-18
Willy Moon has made a splash in a sort of rockabilly way. I like him because he steals a lot of his style from Squirrel Nut Zippers or Chris Isaak, who is what Willy could be if his voice were way, way better.


I predict he'll spend the rest of his career defending why his stuff is original from people trolling him before he gives up his music career to pursue..uh...something else.

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