Finally the knowledge that marks me as being a special genius above the simple minded sheeple plebs of the world is only a few mouse clicks away. Wait till the ladies at the dollar store get an ear full of TRUE history, they won't be able to ignore me this time!

I thought this was a dupe at first but a Russian mathematician has informed me that history doesn't exist.

Could the person who made this not have just read the script themselves? Did they have to use the damn text speech robot voice? Or was robot voice supposed to make this sound smarter?

Doesn't it seem like histories great discoveries and inventions can't have occurred by chance? Don't you think it makes more sense that there might be a guiding hand behind the scenes, controlling it all? Isn't it logical that it's all actually the work of a talking dog and his little boy sidekick traveling through time and propping up random idiots they find to take credit for the dog's discoveries?

Alas and alack, with Lon Chaney as the hunchback.

I blame Hegel.

Now is the time to journey home to tell of what I've learned
My people I believe have every right to be concerned
For in spite of computers and advanced psychology
Behavior patterns are still a mystery
I predict the future of this earthly human race
Is that having made a mess of Earth
They'll move to outer space
Well there goes the neighborhood
Totally, completely, absolutely, irrevocably, highly illogical.