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Desc:a tekken reference? Really?
Category:Advertisements, Science & Technology
Tags:MMA, Gladiator, armor, UWM, cyberpunk IRL
Submitted:Albuquerque Halsey
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Comment count is 13
Gmork - 2015-04-10
Change - 2015-04-10
maybe if you're gagging for something you should focus on the head a little more, and the shaft a lot less
ashtar. - 2015-04-10
It's like real life Soul Calibur. Tekken doesn't have weapons, you knob.
EvilHomer - 2015-04-10
Actually, the Force and Scenario beat-em-up modes featured in various Tekken titles have weapons. Given the context, it is reasonable to assume that he meant to say Soul Calibur (and/or is a dummy who has only ever heard of one video game before: Tekken). However, it is technically possible to use weapons in Tekken, even if only in a limited capacity.

ashtar. - 2015-04-10
Thanks for making me feel like less of a nerd, EH.

ashtar. - 2015-04-10
Also, as soon as I posted that, I knew how EH would respond.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-10
It's just sport fencing. They're whacking away at each other as if the weapons won't hurt them and the only objective is to score points as quickly as possible - because they won't, and it is.

How can something with such cool gear be failing so miserably right out the gate?
EvilHomer - 2015-04-10
What they should do is hook electrodes to the insides of the suit, so that whenever a blow is landed, the suit delivers a shock to that part of the wearer's body proportionally to the real-life damage the blow would inflict. This would be a great substitute for the afterblow rule, and would make for some wildly entertaining watching.

oddeye - 2015-04-10
couldn't they just windmill nunchuks or whatever and constantly strike the opponent, hoping to take them down faster then they will be taken down themselves?

EvilHomer - 2015-04-10
Yes, that's the problem, that's pretty much what they'll do, and you can see the beginnings of the madness if you pay attention to the short clips of fighting they actually show.

Another problem is that, by stipulating the armor will simulate the effect of a blow on unarmored human flesh, you're basically negating 99% of all historical weapons. Historical weapons didn't just develop in a vacuum; they all had roles to play and environments to which they had to be adapted - most of which involved finding ways to defeat the sort of armor they'd be up against, and methods if being utilized, either individually or in groups, in a battlefield situation or as a self-defense tool for everyday life. None of this rich complexity will be addressed!

Furthermore, it is not at all clear how precisely the damage will be measured. Remember, not all blows are equal. A slicing draw cut will have a very different effect from a piercing stab that penetrates five inches into a Frenchman's chest - will UWM make allowances for this? If so, how? You can't just measure the force of a blow like some glorified hammer-and-bell game - you also have to take into account the weapon's surface area. The shape of the cross-section. The location and direction of the blow. The edge alignment of the weapon at the time of impact. Etc etc etc A dozen hard thwacks with a nunchuk wouldn't be half as effective in real life as a single well-placed rapier thrust, yet without some serious engineering foresight, this distinction is very likely to be lost in UWM bouts.

oddeye - 2015-04-11
they should have team battles with regiments and shit because as you said, there is a lot more to this than whacking off each other in some scifi cosplay suits with various planks of wood.

What about poison weapons or vampires? How will they account for super-speed? Will one guy just have to move in slow mo or something?

EvilHomer - 2015-04-11
Vampires don't exist, but poison weapons would indeed be another thing they'd have to take into account, if, as they claim, this UWM thing is going to be a true all-world-fighting-style tournament.

oddeye - 2015-04-11
But what if your LARP organization rules allow for vampires? Thought they were going for REALISTIC here. What about mounted weapon users? Are they going to give shields hit points and force them to be discarded once depleted or some shit?

Throwing weapons, how would they work? Many soldiers of old had throwing weapons to break up enemy lines and shit before hacking them up.

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