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Desc:'Batman ft. Superman: Rush to the Justice League'
Category:Humor, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:DC, batman, Superman, justice league, Patton Oswalt
Submitted:Pillager
Date:04/22/15
Views:902
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Comment count is 27
ashtar.
This will be terrible and will conclusively demonstrate the superiority of all things Marvel forever. In conclusion: suck it suck it hard DC.
Xenocide
DC has better television, Marvel has better films. The former has been true for 20 years now. The latter is more recent but I don't see it changing anytime soon.

IrishWhiskey
I don't know about the cartoons, but if comparing Gotham, Flash and Arrow to Daredevil, Agent Carter and SHIELD? Then Marvels got the edge in both.

Xenocide
Gotham is kind of a mess, but Arrow and Flash are solid, clever and fun. SHIELD is just crippled by its format, though; it gives the impression of a show that's just spinning its wheels waiting for the next movie to tie in with. In fact, that's basically the entire plot of the first season. The smartest thing DC has done is not shackle its TV shows to the same universe as its movies.

John Holmes Motherfucker
HERE'S THE THING: Don't know if it's going to be good or bad, but I KNOW I'm going to see it.

EvilHomer
We may not always agree, Professor Ashtar, but when we do it's a beautiful thing.

EvilHomer
Of course, Image is better than either of those two old men, but the general sentiment - DC sucks, Marvel is better - is correct.

Monkey Napoleon
Now, when you say Marvel movies are better than DC movies... you're remembering that Marvel puts out 10 times as many movies and 90% of them are fucking terrible, right?

Xenocide
300 was eight years ago, Hollywood. Why do you keep giving Zack Snyder work? What are trying to prove? That a one-hit wonder shitshow like M. Night Shamalan can be replicated on demand?

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE HELMET OWLS? http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=82305
Pillager
Suckerpunch. How he still gets movies in Hollywood is beyond me.

EvilHomer
Suckerpunch was great.

zerobackup
Suckerpunch is the last movie I saw in the theater that actually made me feel robbed.

SolRo
Is it me, or is batman's suit in the preload look like it's made of duct tape painted with liquid rubber?
John Holmes Motherfucker
No, that you mention it. Awesome isn't it?

Scrimmjob
Holy christ, I couldn't be more sick of the endless torrent of super hero movie diarrhea that has been frothing forth over the last decade.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I couldn't be happier. Since I was a kid, and for most of my life, I've dreamed of seeing a decent Superhero movie, and it seemed like it was impossible. Now we have the effects, and we also have directors who grew up on this material.

After the Winter Soldier, I decided that I was a Marvel Studios fanvboy. Counting the days before age of Ultron.

That guy
Thank you, Scrimmjob. Share 5 with the vid, which was at least good schtick about of the deluge of demi-god dyspepsia that our country has contributed to world culture.

THANKS, US.

Scrimmjob
Give it time John, even you will be sick of this endlessly rehashed bullshit before too long.

blue vein steel
Without that writers' strike a little over a decade ago, none of this would have happened.

John Holmes Motherfucker
The great thing about the Marvel movies is that they aren't overly stylized. The pace is fast, the characters are real, the dialogue is snappy, the effects are great. Solid movie virtues.

DC movies, going back to Burton's Batman, tend to be all about being dark and stylish, or dark and gritty. Or stylish and goofy. Oh, and lately there's been way too much philosophy and ponderousness. Nolan's Batman movies skirted the line between serious and pretentious. Man of Steel crossed the line, big time.
Bort
Dark and gritty works for Batman -- isn't strictly necessary, but it does work for the character.

Superman's deal is that he's supposed to be aspirational: he uses his powers for the betterment of others, he sets a good example, if he knows you're in trouble he will be there for you. Fail to do that -- make Superman more scary than comforting -- and you've written a bad Superman.

EvilHomer
Oh god, Bort, don't start this again...!

Bort
Tell me, do you screed?

You will.

Sanest Man Alive
HORNS



BWAAAAAAAA
zerobackup
The Bats V Supes that I always loved had Superman hating on Batman's methods for being too ruthless at times and Batman calling Superman a "boy scout" for his starry-eyed optimism.

After destroying Metropolis in front of a Denny's and then in front of a 7-11 for 38 minutes and snapping Zod's neck, Batman would have to straight up murder all of his enemies (which he easily could, a couple shots from the Batmobile which is a high speed tank could blow up any of his non-supernatural foes). The tension comes from the fact that superheroes DON'T KILL. If they did, the tension is gone.

My absolute favorite comic book is Kingdom Come where the major plot point is the public turning on Superman after a new hero Magog finally does what no one else will do and kills the Joker on the courthouse steps. This is so shocking because it changes the hero dynamic so completely. If the Green Lantern wanted to kill a villain he could just point his ring at the guy's chest and magic a grenade into his lungs. It removes any and all tension when heroes don't struggle at all with their morals and just murder the bad guy.

In this movie Superman should basically be the villain and Batman should be trying to stop him, but it won't be that.
Sanest Man Alive
If Batman's really confronting Superman in that dorky Bat-mecha-armor, I really, REALLY hope this movie turns out to be some hilarrible mangling of Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.

Bort
Green Lantern could be even more ruthless. One time early in his career, he had a dream about turning his Eskimo sidekick into a seagull, and his power battery made it happen in real life. He can turn people into animals literally without even trying.

"Kingdom Come" was largely Mark Waid's condemnation of the 90s, Magog being the embodiment of everything wrong with 3dgy heroes.

Coincidentally enough, my favorite Superman sequence of all time involves KC Superman, but in a sequel of sorts. Right around the time the nuke was dropped on all the heroes and villains and Superman got royally pissed off (spoilers), KC Superman found himself transported to DC's main world circa 2008, and was cooling his heels at the Justice Society HQ while they nervously wondered what to do with this very angry and volatile new Superman:

http://www.paprikash.com/jsa10/

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