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Desc:In honor of John Holmes Motherfucker, an advice animal has been created.
Category:Arts, Stunts
Tags:John Holmes Motherfucker
Submitted:That guy
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Comment count is 43
Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2015-04-25
Oh, be nice, why don't you?
That guy - 2015-04-25
I AM being nice.

Robin Kestrel - 2015-04-25
Kilroy was here.
ashtar. - 2015-04-25
John. I give you a fair amount of shit, but I like you and I'm glad you're here.
infinite zest - 2015-04-25
One of the many reasons why I've been coming to Poe for.. Holy shit has it been almost 20 years?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-25
I'd like to thank the members of the Academy for this humbling honor. I'd like to thank my family and God, by whom, of course, I mean Boxxy. Remember to call your mother, everybody.

I'm almost sixty, and I really miss pubic hair.

I'm almost sixty, and I'm good at the Linux command line, but my smart phone baffles me.

I'm almost sixty, and I'd still love to bang Sally Field.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2015-04-25
Sally Field? Really?

Old_Zircon - 2015-04-25
Where did your pubic hair go?

Scrimmjob - 2015-04-25
You know JHM has a plaque on the wall at the poetv.com home office. Keep up the good work baby!

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-25
I don't care if she's now playing Peter Parker's elderly Aunt. She'll always be Gidget to me.


Baby, these stars are yours.

That guy - 2015-04-25
Ok yeah, JHM she's a hot little goodie-goodie tart. I see your point. I'd prefer more of a Smokey and the Bandit look, where she looks like she's out of high school, but to each his own.

infinite zest - 2015-04-25

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-26
>>Ok yeah, JHM she's a hot little goodie-goodie tart. I see your point. I'd prefer more of a Smokey and the Bandit look, where she looks like she's out of high school, but to each his own.

Oh, me, too. In fact, those Boniva commercials used to really do it for me. My point is that Sally Field has always kept a little Gidget. A youthful spark in a mature woman, now THATS hot. The most alluring teenage girls aren't found in high school, or in barely legal porn. They're found in the eyes of women over 40.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-26
Let me explain something, by the way.

I adore Boxxy, but I don't flirt with Boxxy over the internet.

I absolutely do flirt with Boxxy's mom, Lisa. Sometimes pretty shamelessly.

Catie's birthday is in a couple of days, on the 28th, and a lot of fans will be sending her gifts. I usually make a video as a kind of greeting card, but I won't be sending a gift to Catie. This year, on her birthday I sent Lisa a gift of exquisite Pesto from a local Natural Food's restaurant. It cost 50 dollars for the pesto, and another 60 to ship it frozen on dry ice. For me, this is a huge amount of money.

I don't expect anything to come of it, but Lisa is a great lady, and I give her an occasional tribute in celebration of the fact that I'm not dead yet.

Here's the video I made for Lisa's birthday. In some ways it's kid of crappy looking, but she loved it.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-26
Oh, and my favorite Sally Field is "Soap Dish". Still hilarious, if a little transphobic in parts.

Hooker - 2015-04-26
You creep out people from Portal of Evil.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
Petyr Baelish Motherfucker.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
So, have you actually met Lisa Arryn, John? I know you live just down the street from her.

I'm not going to lie, it would be cute if you landed Boxxy's mom and became internet royalty. You deserve it.

simon666 - 2015-04-26
Holy shit that birthday video.

That guy - 2015-04-25
I never intended this to go through the hopper, just to announce it there.

Inspired by John Holmes Motherfucker, concept by Old Zircon, this is "I'm almost 60... and I've known what a meme is for over five years."

If you like it, hit the up arrow on top of the main page, and maybe this will turn into a, um...... what are they called again, JHM?
EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
I noticed it's jumped over 100,000 places in the global meme ranking since you first submitted it. It's still bottom-tier, but still! From humble soil do great oaks spring.

That guy - 2015-04-26
I'm not sure every panel is of the utmost quality over there. I can't tell if it's only poetvers or not at this point.

jangbones - 2015-04-25
drama is for children
That guy - 2015-04-25

There's an art to them, and JHM is coming up with most of the best ones:
"I'm almost sixty, and I'm good at the Linux command line, but my smart phone baffles me."
There's a balance to that that does not make "Almost 60 guy" the butt of the joke.

The others are just specific love jabs about JHM.

You're like the protestant kid over for dinner at the catholic family's house. "Why is everybody yelling and putting their elbows on the table?!"

That guy - 2015-04-25
The one I just wrote
"I'm almost 60...
If I wear a t-shirt of something it's because I like it."
cuts in both directions.

If it's not funny, sure, it's not funny.
But you see how it targets young "cool" guy for being fatuous, even though young "cool" guy isn't present in the 1-panel comic, right?

Mastering Twitter and having no idea what to do with a running toilet is more asinine than vice-versa, and about 1/2 of the ones I wrote operate on this as, like, bronze age level schtick here.
At one age a person's good at ____, and bad at _____.
At another age, it's a different combination.

A few of them are just funny to me with fairly gentle humor:
"I'm almost 60...
Nostalgia and ribs, anyone?"
The man in the picture totally loves both, but those aren't two words that go together.
Again, if not funny, ok. But how am I creating drama here?

I can argue with JHM 100 times on here without wanting to create actual drama here, Mr. Sensitive.

Hooker - 2015-04-26
And Xenocide has retaken the lead!

That guy - 2015-04-26
told you, Hooker

Gmork - 2015-04-26
Because knowing memes is important.

Back in the day we just called them "jokes". They came in all sorts of forms.

Today's is lazy and uninspired and for the most part not even funny. It's the kind of humor I grew out of in middle school, that an entire generation of 18-30 somethings apparently have not.

A picture can be funny if it's funny. Regurgitating a meme for meme's sake is an insult to the concept of comedy.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-04-26
I love memes. There's good memes and bad memes, but the basic concept is group participation and creativity.

That guy - 2015-04-26
Did you just 1-star this over a philosophical objection to the word 'meme'?

That guy - 2015-04-26
Or is this some other kind of dismissing this out-of-hand?

Or did you actually look at the page and find all of them lazy and uninspired?!

ashtar. - 2015-04-26
Gmork seems to be making an awkward and bumbling, but nonetheless serious, effort to suck as much as possible.

ashtar. - 2015-04-26
>>It's the kind of humor I grew out of in middle school, that an entire generation of 18-30 somethings apparently have not.

I'm almost 60 and I still haven't grown out of it.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
Gmork's nowhere near 60...

and he doesn't know what a meme is!

EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
(I have never encountered a single definition of the word "meme", in which "meme" can be parsed out simply to "joke". Modern memes are typically humorous, and some memes may indeed read as a joke, but "meme" and "joke" are in no way synonymous, interchangeable terms.

Perhaps back in the day, you called them "image macros", "catchphrases", or "fads". You did not call them "jokes". The meme-as-joke is not a meme construct, and while both the meme-as-macro meme, and more broadly the meme-as-viral-iconography meme, may be in some ways memetically replacing our cultural tradition of telling jokes, the two words are NOT the same and also Gmork you are dumb.)

simon666 - 2015-04-26
I'd like to point out that I'm good at the Linux command line (Debian: Apt-get into it!) and smart phones baffle me too :(

simon666 - 2015-04-26
Not sure why I replied to this thread. I'm over thirty and replying to comments baffles me too, apparently.

EvilHomer - 2015-04-26
I think the problem with smartphones is the operating systems are generally so dumb and restrictive, that people who are used to having a bit more control over what they do can get thrown off by their smartphone's behavior.

simon666 - 2015-04-26
EvilHomer: I think that makes sense. Also, I've noticed with age that I'm less willing to experiment and/or get things wrong and tend towards doing what I know works, which translates into not experimenting and not trying different buttons or gestures on the phone or whatchamacallit de jour. This tendency should probably be resisted most places in one's life, except those places where well-being are concerned.

Hooker - 2015-04-26
Gmork snapped here: http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=143542

Ever since, he's been totally broken.

Cube - 2015-04-26
See, I told you you were important.
yogarfield - 2015-04-26
meme is just emem backwards

ya idiots
Accidie - 2015-04-26
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