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Desc:Stroke Guy is back with his predictions about The Force Awakens
Category:Classic Movies, Humor
Tags:Star Wars, pizza roll, Stroke Guy, RedLetterMedia, Plinkett
Submitted:joelkazoo
Date:05/06/15
Views:1140
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Comment count is 11
Binro the Heretic
I can think of something stupider than a Darth Vader clone.

The hooded figure with the robot hand is actually the scrotum-mouthed guy from the Mos Eisley cantina.

He's kidnapped Artoo and is using him as bait to lure out that snotty blond kid who cost him his arm all those years ago.
Cube
I don't know when the new Star Wars movie is coming out and I don't care; it's been rubbed in my face for a year now, totally killing any interest.

I guess one could admire Disney's viral advertising division for packing every fucking social media site full of Star Wars crap and getting people to go with it, but here's from me, to you, a fuck you, Disney.
Jet Bin Fever
I don't care about most of this stuff, but I still think this schtick is funny.
infinite zest
Plinkett's based off a real guy who came into the theatre I used to work at. Well, more of an amalgamation of a few regular patrons. I first saw that drawing back in 2006 or so. Replace "Bagel Dogs" with the Pizza Rolls. He's mostly based off this guy who claimed to be the original voice of Popeye, who actually did have an investigation into the whereabouts of his girlfriend/wife sometime back in the '70s and has bottles of booze buried somewhere beneath the theatre.

Jet Bin Fever
Wait, I_Z, are you now saying that you invented Plinkett? You have some personal connection to every damned video up here it seems.

infinite zest
No, I think Jay invented Plinkett. We had employee box logs that went back to the late 1980s at the movie theatre and I'd read the old ones when I was bored. I didn't work there until 2006 though, and at that point Mike and Jay were doing film festival stuff in Milwaukee, but they'd still come in a bunch. In fact if you watch the whole Star Wars review thing, the theatre plays a pretty big role, and I lived about a block from where Jay and Mike did, and probably still do. But no, just small world. Basically he's just a collaboration of asshole customers, sort of like how George Jerry Elaine and Kramer are based off real-life people who tried to cash in later after the success of the show. So in a lot of cases, I owe my vicarious connections to having worked shit jobs in the service industry growing up.

chumbucket
"TOO SOON"
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Good god those reaction videos are painfully painful.
infinite zest
They really are. I was with my dad recently and showed him the new Star Wars trailer; he didn't even know they were making a new one. But out of anyone, he should be their biggest fan. My mom went into labor during the first one and they named my older brother after Obi Wan (Ben) but I don't think they ever went back and finished it, or if they did it was some years later. His reaction was similar to Plinkett's: "so they're making another one? Oh Harrison Ford's in it. Back to Call The Midwife. You wanna stick around and watch Call The Midwife with me?"

StanleyPain
There's pretty much no way the new SW could be that bad. It's based on new mythology instead of trying to retcon or re-invent a bunch of shit like the prequels do and the people working on it have a good track record of reasonably entertaining sci-fi adventure stuff. Will it be as iconic and monumental a movie as the original? I doubt it...but there's no way it could possibly be as poorly made as the prequels if for no other reason than these new SW films will have actual directors, not just a guy who wants the whole thing to be made digitally using methods that ensure he never has to get out of his chair.
It would be nice if there could be a larger and more honest discussion in the media as well about how Lucas gets way too much credit for the films and how his ex-wife undoubtedly was one of the key driving creative forces behind the original film, which by all accounts was complete garbage until she helped re-edit it.
Doomstein
"Shitty actors cast as the main characters? Mind-numbing dialogue? We'll fix it in post. Also throw in some lovable CG character based on offensive racial stereotypes, you know, for the kids."

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