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Desc:It is terrifying and surreal. Halp.
Category:Horror
Tags:toys, consumerism, unboxing, DCTC, fap?
Submitted:ashtar.
Date:05/13/15
Views:1118
Rating:
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Comment count is 19
ashtar.
This has 5,662,330 views. There's a whole channel full of similar videos.

It's like some avant-garde parody of consumerism: an adult woman, the nails on her withered hands painted with cheap glitter, cooing and giddily unwrapping children's toys that all tie into major franchises and can't even be played with, the whole thing shot like some bizarre, garish pornography that seeks to reduce all of life's most essential functions to mindless mechanical processes devoid of meaning or context.
ashtar.
Also, why can't I stop beating off to it?

Ugh
it's cause she's got those strong, workin class hands, you can tell theyve seen hell

fluffy
I'm just going to assume that at least 5,500,000 of those views are people who are just as baffled about it as we are and leave it at that.

EvilHomer
And yet, when Ashens or Grand-Illusions does this, nobody has a problem with it.

Check your privilege, guys.

StanleyPain
Ashens gimmick is that he is exposing weird/awful knock off toys and food and is not aggressively trying to be a "character" with tons of forced humor and edits. Not sure he really compares to this kind of shit.

EvilHomer
He does it with an ironic sneer, she does it with wide-eyed sincerity. That's the only difference.

EvilHomer
Well, that, and the fact that Ashens tries to play it very "manly" and "cool" with his dark living room and Brit-bro stoicism, while this lady shamelessly femmes it up with glitter and sparklies and bright primary colors everywhere.

Again, privileges need to be checked! When sarcastic old men do it, it's totally fine, but when a bubbly girly-girl who fails to live up to conventional beauty standards does it, she's a weirdo.

That guy
ashtar this is an incredible find, and combined with your first comment, I'm going to give this 5 stars
*****
unfortunately, due to MLP content, it will have to be ghost stars
that is the best I can do here
I'm already making an exception to my MLP on poetv policy, I hope you understand

Wander
Here is an article about this sort of thing:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/17/magazine/a-mothers-journey-t hrough-the-unnerving-universe-of-unboxing-videos.html?_r=0


TL;DR: Kids watch this shit over and over, prob. because they are very dumb.
Aelric
To be fair, WE keep watching this shit

Lurchi
da mystery of unboxin

EvilHomer
See, here's the thing: we never think we're going to turn into Grandpa Simpson, because we never truly believe that kids are going to become so alien and different from us that, on a strictly intellectual level, we cannot relate to them at all.

Yet this is precisely what will happen.

chumbucket
I want to find an unboxing channel that's been running for over a year or so that releases a final video showing the hoarder house full to the rafters with empty boxes and packing material..ending with a single gunshot in the background

Aelric
It's sort of an inevitabler conclusion in a culture that values material stuf so much but mostly doesn't have the means to gain all the stuff they want. Or some other hippie dippy thing like that.

I find this grossly pornographic. The porn you see on the corner of the categories of PornHub and try to pretend you didn't catch a glimpse because if you think about it too much it'll kill your boner and by got, this one is coming out now.
misterbuns
After shooting this she went to empty the urine buckets in the basement where her children live in chained darkness.
EvilHomer
2 Scootaloos, 3 Sweetie Belles, ZERO APPLE BLOOMS.

Haha, even the RNG Gods know Apple Bloom sucks.
Macho Nacho
I found a whole bunch of these types of videos a couple weeks ago. They all seem similar in the notion that kids are watching these. Some of the videos try to have an educational spin on them by having the narrator name the characters or count how many toys they have to unbox.
Chocolate Jesus
it's like a let's play video for infants

or just a let's play video
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