Tough American Bouncer - 2015-05-25 Aggressive, biting spider that shits everywhere - that will make a delightful pet!
Old_Zircon - 2015-05-25 At that point you might as well just have a kid AMIRITE?
Potter - 2015-05-25 I need like a dozen of those biting shit machines!
SolRo - 2015-05-25 In the spiders defense, you ARE some ugly massive beige giant alien, missing a bunch of eyes and legs, that kidnapped it from its home and are now trying to probe it under blindly bright lights.
Gmork - 2015-05-26 Okay - so there are glitterbomb services, right?
I was watching some spider unboxing videos...
All you'd need is an ejection device that wont kill the spider outright (although who knows what will happen when it contacts the face of the person opening the box).
Gmork - 2015-05-26 Deliver an angry, pooping menace to your enemy today!