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Desc:Volvo 'not equipped with pedestrian detection'
Category:Accidents & Explosions, Science & Technology
Tags:self-parking car, ramming speed, working as intended
Submitted:Lurchi
Date:05/26/15
Views:1044
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Comment count is 31
Scynne
It knew what it was doing.
yogarfield
come on over here sugarbuns, this machine just calle dme an asshole
yogarfield
no really, you're missing the "maximum overdrive" tag

Binro the Heretic
Okay, I know on the surface this looks bad for Volvo's safety record but a driver would have been perfectly safe in that situation.
Shoebox Joe
It's more afraid of you than you are afraid of it!
deadpan
It begins.
Bobonne
Clearly, they need to contract with Michael Dorn to provide a new line on their in-car voice system.

"PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED!"
Hooker
Maybe the most expensive Jackass stunt yet.
Hooker
Holy shit. Volvo, apparently in an attempt to defuse the situation(???), has said that this only happened because that car was not equipped with "pedestrian detection functionality," which costs extra.(!!!)
infinite zest
That's really fucking scary. I was driving today at work and noticed several things wrong, all at the same crosswalk to and from. On the way there, people were using a crosswalk but biking across it, which is technically illegal, and on the way back, some dumb couple decided to cross like, 10 fucking feet from the actual crosswalk, so I stopped, but the person in the next lane almost hit them because they had their eyes on the crosswalk, and I was blocking their field of vision, just assuming that if I stopped they'd stop too.. in either case I'm thinking of how a machine would react to that. A bicycle would not register as a pedestrian, and if the car knows to stop at crosswalks, it would would register those two as something like a tree, unless it can actually pick up on human heat. There's something to be said for the convenience of traveling somewhere and being able to play with your phone, or jerk off or whatever, but that's called public fucking transportation. You are in a car and it's your responsibility and not the goddamn car's. Sorry, robots. I'll take this statement back after the assimilation.. it's just how I feel right now.

crojo
Jaywalkers and bicyclists in crosswalks deserve to die though, so.

Old_Zircon
You Northwesterners and you jaywalking.

Shit, I've actually had a Boston cop stop me for NOT jaywalking in front of his car because it was "suspicious behavior."

I love Oregon and Washington but I think I'd go crazy living in a place where people were incapable of jaywalking responsibly or understanding cynicism.

Also, why actually is it illegal to have a bike on a crosswalk? It's unfathomable. At least the laws against pumping your own gas are ostensibly about preserving jobs.

crojo
San Francisco actually, having to work in the Financial District which is one compressed mass of cars, bikes, and pedestrians (and motorcycles, and cable cars, and buses, and...). None of it works unless they stick to their respective roles, which means none of it fucking works at all.

Old_Zircon
Ah, I knew IZ was from Oregon and I've spent some time there and a bit in Washington but maybe 2 hours total in SF so that's my frame of reference.

infinite zest
Bikes on crosswalks aren't illegal if you're walking them but it's like riding on the sidewalk if you're pedaling, which makes sense to me. Then again people do both all the time and I've only seen a cop stop a bike on the sidewalk once downtown. Sometimes I see a whole family of bikes going right down busy pedestrian streets.. I understand that there's cars near the bike lanes, but there's virtually car free streets (also with bike lanes) on either side; they're just doing it to be seen, like "look how Portland and precious we are! We ride bikes!!" Grr...

infinite zest
...and just like that, there was a fatal bike accident in right in my neighborhood today. I live right between this one, and another one 10 blocks down which cost a pretty good acquaintance of mine his leg a couple of weeks ago. Both are tragic, but it's hard to place the blame because both intersections are nightmares: I've been feet away from being involved in a 3 car collision when I was riding my bike a few years ago. Anyway, cops are doing sting operations now to catch people who don't stop at Crosswalks when a pedestrian puts his or her feet into the street, and these tickets apply to both drivers and bikers, and in Oregon ANY crossing with a walk/don't walk is treated like a crosswalk, so basically you can walk across the street when it clearly says "DON'T WALK."

Honestly, I don't know a solution here: I've lived in places where a bike lane (especially one with a big green area for bikes in the turning lane exist) is as foreign of a concept as a sign for Horse and Buggy X-ing is to me, and that's not because people don't commute by bike. For example, Milwaukee Wisconsin might not be the first place that comes to mind when you think of bikes, but the area I lived in was basically like a squished together Portland, and I knew few people who drove. There were little white lines down the road on major roads, I believe, but nothing like what it's like out here, or at least not when I was there. And I never recall hearing about a bike related fatality, in that area or elsewhere in the city. Again it's really sad.. they haven't released the name of the deceased bicyclist but I have a gut feeling that I knew him in one capacity or another.. hopefully some day it will get better and safer here for everyone.

yogarfield
juicy thread, incoming lj:

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
"Parquea?" "Carro?" Que clase de español es ese, y quién te lo enseño?
Crab Mentality
I have two questions-

A: Where exactly was it trying to park?

B: In what situation is it trying to park at that speed?
oddeye
Obviously it was trying to park on that guys kneecaps. Jesus, are you fucking blind or something?

betabox
Exactly what I was wondering.

Along with C: If you're standing directly in front of an accelerating vehicle, why stand there until it knocks you over?

They didn't have a lot of time to react, but it seemed clear that something was wrong.

Needtodestroy
Title is incorrect. Not a self parking car. This model has a pedestrian detection system. The driver had not turned it on in all the excitement of showing it off for the first time.

Again, not a self parking car.

Fun to watch though for sure.

Nominal
I just had a note left on my car (that had been parked unused for a week) saying, "You hit my car 3 days ago. A witness left a note with your plate and make. Call me before I report this to the police."

It's impossible that I hit her. I hadn't driven for 7 days and there wasn't a mark on my car, except for a big dent in my front bumper from hitting a pole 8 years ago. My guess is it's some scam where they leave that note on any car they see with visible bumper damage.
infinite zest
That's my guess too.. Is it a really unique looking car? I had something similar when I had a car of my own.. everybody in the complex was super friendly and we all hung out in the parking lot and knew each others' bikes and cars, and mine was the only Blue Jetta, ofthe only Volkswagen for that matter.. But it wasn't assigned parking and nobody gave a shit if people who were visiting used it instead of parking on the street.. anyway I got a knock on my door from my neighbor and he was like "you hit my car.." Like not a big deal because his car had a million dents in it but it was shitty for me to, like, not say anything at all, because we were pretty good friends, and I was like "what?" Anyway it was some other Jetta exact same model, I don't think the person lived there because I never saw it again.. it just kinda sucks because he was like "ok I believe you" but I don't think he ever did..

infinite zest
Slight Silicon Valley Spoiler (not affecting the plot but just in case scroll down)











You know that episode where Jared gets trapped in Peter's smart car and it drives him to some robot island? Like, can that basically happen now?
Sanest Man Alive
Man, the remake even made ED209 look boring, what the fuck
Jet Bin Fever
Why would you stand in front of a robot car?
Old_Zircon
Technology can be great, but a lot of the time it's more like outsourcing competence.
Old_Zircon
On the other hand, I've seen Brown students do things stupider than this on a pretty regular basis since I moved to RI, not a bit of hyperbole.

dairyqueenlatifah
I've watched it five times and it's still hilarious.
lotsmoreorcs
and if i close my eyes i can see the production lines in detroit and dearborn and youngstown and mackinack, new volvos being put together by being put together by blue collars who no longer longer even punch a clock but only drop and are replaced. the counterman is staggering a little now, he's an old bastard too. i've got to wake the girl. two planes are leaving silver contrails etched across the darkening eastern horizon. i wish i could believe there are people in them.
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