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Desc:A gobsmacked Calvin looks on as a dumpy fellow shills his terrible kids book
Category:Religious, Advertisements
Tags:calvin, hell, lol xians, comments are disabled, teaching Christs love through unending torture
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 12
misterbuns - 2015-06-08
death cult.

also that Calvin is a horrifying potato monster. Was that painted by Goya?
Gmork - 2015-06-08
6 likes 217 dislikes

comments disabled
Menudo con queso - 2015-06-08
EXACTLY like Dr. Seuss. Have your stars for evilest evil.
Xenocide - 2015-06-08
Are you kids afraid enough? The answer is always no!

gravelstudios - 2015-06-08
This reminds me of an argument between two girls I knew in high school. One claimed that all children who die before the age of accountability go directly to heaven, and the other claimed that the 'age of accountability' concept is nowhere in the bible and that dead babies got to hell whether you like it or not. I don't think they spoke to each other for a couple of weeks after that.
Xenocide - 2015-06-08
This man is no Puritan! Why doesn't he have a pointy beard? Why isn't he burning any witches? Where is his trusty but clearly inferior Indian friend who brings him corn on the first Thanksgiving? Where's his buckle hat? WHERE IS YOUR BUCKLE HAT, RONALD?

Did he think we wouldn't recognize a spy for Big Sin when we saw one? Throw him in the rhyming Dr. Seuss cage!
oddeye - 2015-06-08
I would throw him in the cage,
for writing on a page,
for scaring little kids,
for his underware full of skids,

I would that cage into a train,
I would drop that cage from a plane,

cognitivedissonance - 2015-06-08
I'm growing a wraparound because I saw a Puritan in a book once having one.

I've decided if I ever have a child, it will be named "Makepeace Lovegood".

That guy - 2015-06-09
oddeye, the meter's off I think. :\

wtf japan - 2015-06-09
How DO you explain fairy tales to children?
Quad9Damage - 2015-06-09
There was a brief moment where I thought this was Eugene Mirman. And I almost lost it at the old man reading the children's book about Hell aloud to the small girls.
Jet Bin Fever - 2015-06-11
This is horrible. It isn't even clever or well-thought out. It's a lazy cashgrab that takes money from terrible people (which I WOULD be okay with, but...) and convinces them that their little snotbags are going to hell and need Jesus right away.
Also, this guy has a very loose understanding of the Bible if he thinks that it says that little children are going to hell. Then again, maybe I just don't know the Bible well enough... but my understanding was always that children were intrinsically "saved" because they're too young to really know what they were doing or have free will, and that original sin is a bunch of bullshit.
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