TeenerTot 
Haha!
Now take away my reproductive health rights to the theme from The Brady Bunch!
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memedumpster Here's the story of a little baby.
Who was legitimated up a slutty girl.
You see this girl was raised without a daddy.
With a mom named Earl.
One day this little baby met a doctor.
Who refused to carve it out with satan's knife.
That was all because of legislature.
Designed to save the little baby's life.
For Jesus Christ (for Jesus Christ)
And that is why God made Republicans!
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infinite zest Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
And Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.
Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.
And Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
Welcome Aboard. It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
Didn't even have to edit that one.
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Scrimmjob
There are actually people who would consider voting for this retarded bozo?
2 stars for stupid 3 stars for evil
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baleen
To be a successful politician, you must be a diagnosable psychopath, a brilliant cynic, or an idiot. I think most politicians are 2 of 3.
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Aelric
White People!
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15th
Swing Low Sweet Chariot: Cheers version. Ball is in your court, Perry.
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Sexy Duck Cop
Ted Cruz is President in an imaginary movie that plays only in his head. But he has this creepy, uncanny valley effect: he can resemble a President, he can mimic their posture and hand gestures, he can string together bits and pieces of a Presidential autobiography. But he will never, ever come within ten trillion miles of being President.
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infinite zest Someone told me almost the exact same thing about Bernie :(
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Binro the Heretic
I trust him even less, now.
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Lurchi
He reminds me of Chris-Chan
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Rodents of Unusual Size
Ted Cruz you are trying too hard.
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TheOtherCapnS
If he was a motivational speaker or a Jesus camp counselor, he could close with this and bring down the fucking house every time. It's simply tragic that rather than any of those jobs, he is a person in charge of making laws for our country.
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