|The Mothership - 2015-06-30 |
What, no 'twirling twirling twirling towards freedom' tag?
We HAVE one of those?!
Heh.. I didn't even watch end before I started commenting. I assume Mr. Cruz knows that tag refers to the end of politics, and the bullshit of a two party system. But you know what? This will election will be fun to watch. Plus I'm probably throwing away my vote with Bernie.. somebody tell me I'm not :(
|exy - 2015-06-30 |
FUCK I had no idea this guy was so hip and talented. Do I still have time to reregister as a republican?
|EvilHomer - 2015-06-30 |
He seems like a genuinely nice guy. I'm sorry he's picked such an inappropriate line of work.
Hey Cena, do you know of any offshore Coast Guard properties, which the government might be willing to sell, and which are far enough out to sea that I could turn it into my own SeaLand? There's a lighthouse going up for auction here on the Long Island Sound, but it's on a breakwater less than a mile offshore, so that's no good.
I think I do! West coast tho. Do you mind if I ask for you on Facebook?
There's also the abandoned lighthouse in Tillamook Oregon. Are you trying to find your soulmate or something?
No, I'm trying to start my own SeaLand. I want a bug-out plan in case the election comes down to this guy and WalMart.
I don't think they have anything that could qualify as a micronation.
Yeah, the US probably learned it's lesson from the UK. Apparently the Coast Guard is selling off a lot of lighthouses lately, but I doubt any of them will be legally annexable.
Meme - American Samoa doesn't realize how good it's got it.
IZ- what is your Faceybook? I just got set up with a pseudonym account there myself, but I don't know how to use it, and do not wish to learn.
Sexy Duck Cop
He is, by zero accounts ever, a nice guy. His smile is a groteque smirk, his colleagues despise him, he pursues lost cause after lost cause that are actively halting the political progress solely in the name of self-agrandizing grandstanding, and his entire constituency is racist grandmas.
Ted Cruz is the Platonic ideal of everything wrong with American politics. He actuvely refuses to do the fucking job we hired him for so he can pursue his hopeless, short-sighted, narcisstic personal ambitions. I literally cannot think of a more repugnant human being in politics than Ted Cruz.
He should play Mayor Quimby.
|CIWB - 2015-06-30 |
What in the blue fuck. This man thinks he's going to be the next President of the United States, and so do millions of others.
there are like ten or twelve declared candidates that are even less electable than this guy, which is almost inconceivable
Sexy Duck Cop
He is not electable. He never will be electable. Donald Trump is closer to the nomination than Ted Cruz. Who would support him? His party hates him and virtually everything he supports is a political dead end.
|Binro the Heretic - 2015-06-30 |
I don't buy it.
He's trying to lull us into a false sense of security.
Or he's hoping to get into show business once he fails to get elected.
I'm not sure which.
|boner - 2015-06-30 |
THIS IS HOMER SIMPSON. SPAGHETTI WITH MEATBALLS.
Yeah the simpsons has always been pretty left, anything Seth McFarlane or even South Park would make more sense for potential voters.
The Simpsons is pretty middle of the road, although it's been getting more left as the years wear on and the writing deteriorates- in classic Simpsons, you always had Bart and Lisa, Bob and Quimby, Bush and Clinton. Fair and balanced. Family Guy is definitely hard left, albeit on the offensive wing rather than the Liebermanian, and South Park is staunchly libertarian, which I guess might appeal to some of Ted Cruz's swing voters, but might alienate most of his core constituency.
Frankly, I think The Simpsons is his best bet, as the show is classic enough to appeal to both the old and yhr young (remember: he COULD be doing Flintstones impersonations!). Another good thing to try would be My Little Pony impressions. Think about it: MLP is wholesome, and has messages which Christians and cultural conservatives would appreciate, but it's also hip enough for hipsters, queer enough for the LGBT crowd, and appeals to voters age 18-45. It would be perfect!
He could maybe do a skit where he's Applejack, talking about the importance of hard-work and family.
Now I wanna see Chris Christie do this but with Steven Universe.
Yeah, Simpsons made fun of everybody but they had the most fun with the Republican party from what I can remember. Almost since the beginning they made fun of Fox and Murdoch. I never got a leftist vibe from Family Guy though, but I don't really watch it. Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh have both provided their own voices but I don't think a right winger has ever appeared on The Simpsons, just portrayed, ironically by Harry Shearer most of the time. Although until fairly recently I really did think that H.W.and Barb provided their own voices in the Two Bad Neighbors episode.
The first couple of seasons of Family Guy were politically agnostic, but over the years it's become an almost painful self-parody, mostly through the words and deeds of Brian, Seth's self-insertion character. I should probably qualify my original statement, however: Family Guy is less "hard left" and more "hard Democrat" - Seth will bend whichever way the needs of The Party require him to, and I have a feeling that he'd just as soon stick Ralph Nader against the wall as Sarah Palin.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2015-06-30 |
Still a fuckstain.
|Prickly Pete - 2015-06-30 |
Ted Cruz said literally the funniest thing I've ever heard a politician say, which was during an interview when the host told the stagehand to "unplug him," meaning his microphone of course, and Ted goes, "Is this where we find out that I'm from the Matrix and there's a cord in the back of my head?" I thought that was awesome. I laughed a lot, unironically.
|Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-06-30 |
I almost forgot about him saying he would dedicate the majority of his campaign to getting rid of gay marriage even after the Supreme Court decision! That needs to be our focus and not the 17 trillion dollar debt.
Oh and not to mention his immigration bill that he is proposing which would allow employers to hire immigrants from abroad and their rights to ask for a raise would be totally stripped from them, thus enabling corporations to favor them in lieu of Americans that can actually hold out for more money.
I would bother to have emotions for him if his entire campaign weren't doomed for failure.
Sexy Duck Cop
It amazes me anyone here thinks a strategy predicated on political stances that are unpopular, morally indefensible, and logisitically unworkable are somehow going to catapult Ted Cruz to the White House.
|Shanghai Tippytap - 2015-06-30 |
ted cruz recites his favorite simpsons paraphrases
'cowabunga everyone, dont have any cows'
|Hailey2006 - 2015-06-30 |
Anyone notice he bears a strange resemblance to Australian comedy character Norman Gunston
|Potrod - 2015-06-30 |
I'd also like to express my fondness for that uh, particular show.
|TheOtherCapnS - 2015-06-30 |
His normal voice sounds like Flanders, all he has to do is say Flanders'isms and try and be less robotic.
|15th - 2015-06-30 |
I hope buzzfeed or whatever pile of shit this was done for was being subversive.
|FABIO - 2015-07-01 |
Why is every related video a food taste test?
Cuz it's Buzzfeed. Almost everything on that site seems to be _____ eats _____ for the first time. Oh Buzzfeed, to think I used to read you every day. Then again I used to be on 4chan too.
|TeenerTot - 2015-07-01 |
Now take away my reproductive health rights in Lenny's voice!
|Robin Kestrel - 2015-07-01 |
Hitler painted roses.
|Spaceman Africa - 2015-07-02 |
The Cruzform attempts to placate the humans by imitating popular media but ultimately lands in the uncanny valley.
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