For the music

Just light it with a cigar on a stick. Wear goggles. Don't stick your head over a gigantic fireworks cannon. Don't walk down the freeway towards oncoming traffic. All good ideas.

hey man, this isnt Ogrish.com! Gross.....

a e s t h e t i c

So... don't be made of plastic, Styrofoam, or an egg while playing with fireworks. Got it.

Flaming neck stump.

I could never take the Autons seriously.

He's got EGGS FOR EYES! HE doesn't have a chance in HELL!

PREMISE!

If 1:07-1:12 doesn't make you laugh, you're dead inside.

We laugh, but of course ERs see tons of morons every 4th who basically blew their faces off in the most retarded way possible. I have a relative who blew a finger off about 20 years ago by putting an M-90 in a beer can and then purposefully holding the can when it went off. Fireworks I think are kind of a litmus test for morons. A few are fun...but when someone literally gets hours of enjoyment out of just blowing up illegal explosives, I think it kinda says a lot about the gears that are grinding in their head.

Paul McCarthy's been designing Jade Helm training exercises, I see.

At least one drunken idiot got killed this 4th...he put firework mortar on his head and set it off...died instantly.