OK, I smiled at "much saftey". I admit it.
But still pay attention. I see nothing but pretty fun stuff and old memes and whatnot and now what do I do we're gonna crash into the ocean. Your last words would be "at least that Doge was funny" whereas the old ones were "at least they told me how to brace myself.." I mean, they still do, but it's still important to be serious about safety. If TSA did this then it would be like "yo don't bring your shoes in here, those are Pumps! What you hiding in those pumps and out jumps Wesley Snipes and goes HASHTAG 9/11"
Here's what you do, zest. You make yourself feel better by having a crash plan and a post-crash plan. It may be nonsense, but your brain will thank you for the unstated premise that you'll survive. First, the crash plan. Look to the person next to you and think of the most wildly inappropriate thing you can possibly say to them during a plane crash. Know that when the time comes, you will go down having said a real zinger to someone completely bewildered by it. Second, pick out which human on the plane you will eat if you crash somewhere uninhabitable like the Himalayas or New Jersey. Once you have your one-liner and cannibal snackacaust, you'll never crash because of cosmic decency laws. If you sit next to the emergency exit, act like you're mentally handicapped, it's hilarious.
Flying is awesome if you have the right mindset. That and when you fly enough you start to realize that you nearly die a lot, from stupid shit, so you stop worrying about it. It's silly to imagine the wing falling off on its own when the damned thing nearly clips the runway on takeoff or landing every tenth flight.
Don't listen to these fools, IZ, you just need to get Murdoch to drug you when you aren't expecting it and you'll be fine.
I mean Hannibal, fucking shit, I killed that one.
Keyboard Cat, Doge, and Nyancat were all acceptable; they brought smiles to my face.
Double Rainbow Guy, Not-Charlie Bit Me, and Evolution of Dance (ESPECIALLY Evolution of Dance!) were extremely irritating, and sort of made me want to punch whomever was responsible for this video, repeatedly, in the neck.
Why is this the case? What does this tell us about the nature of old internet memes? My theory is that this has something to do with the timelessness of anonymity. A meme like Doge or Nyancat is warm, but a little detached, a little abstracted. It's a symbol, rather than a celebrity; an idea, rather than an individual. However, when you see a guy like Double Rainbow, or that BASTARD Evolution of Dance, a palpable aura of despair descends upon the whole thing, like you become suddenly aware that what you are looking at is a broken, talentless Z-list celebrity desperately trying to cling to the five seconds of cultural relevance which have apparently been the only things which gave their life meaning. You can't enjoy the meme once it has been re-contextualized in this manner, because now the meme reminds you of the impermanence of being, of your own mortality. Nyancat and Doge are happy, timeless, and immortal. Double Rainbow and Evolution of (Stupid) Dance are tragic, dated, and grotesque.
As soon as my Homersprechen script is finished, this commercial will be replaced.
"While emergency doors are important, they're really not. You should know how to operate them in case of an emergency, IF emergencies exist, but do they really? When considering the existence of emergencies, we have to take into account the logic of emergency situations, which, as I see it, must only come in three parts. Part one is the emergency, which never really exists unless you have an emergency door by which to falsely frame it as having an existence outside the door itself. Second, someone to experience the emergency, which, as philosophy demonstrates, does not exist except in non-emergency situations, so cannot actually be real. Third, science has determined that physics cannot tell the difference between a door flying off in an emergency and a door flying off because of some other situation, like a party made of wolves, or hats. Therefore, we must conclude, as science does, that to have an emergency, one must be actually delusional, or completely uninformed. Now, on to the seatbelt... or is it...?"
1. In my sixteen years as a special forces Chuck E Cheese concierge, I have never seen a door declare an emergency.
I've said this before, but EH really missed his calling as an academic philosopher.
He really did.
You can easily imagine that EvilHomer wrote Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. In fact, "EvilHomer or Wittgenstein" should be a party game.
1 The internet is all that is the case.
1.1 The internet is the totality of memes, not facts.
1.11 The internet is determined by the memes, and by these being ALL the memes.
1.12 For the totality of memes determines what is the case, and also all that is not the case.
1.13 The memes in logical space are the internet.
1.2 The internet divides into memes.
1.21 Any one can be either a meme or not a meme, and everything else remain the same (Milhouse, 420)
OMNOMNOM CAN I HAS TENURE NAO PLZ?
I think a big factor is that newer memes are more likely to have been deliberately designed to "go viral" while older ones are more likely to be just something that people found on the Internet. They are designed to be catchy, inoffensive, and adaptable, like a classic commercial jingle.
Memes are business nowadays. Every meme in this commercial is owned by someone who has an agent.
I've said it before on these pop-culture ridden in-flight safety videos, but I can only hear the Maxis-style background music that's subtextually insisting a little _too_ hard that there's nothing to worry about and you'll all be fine. I know it's like that because some people have really intense fears of flying, but I have really intense fears of what corporations aren't telling me, so the tone of these things always makes me think I'm going to die.
Tyler Durden was right.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
This appeals to my high tech sensibilities. You guys are just elitists!
More enjoyable/tolerable than Virgin's "pop-music video" safety video
Where's Dickbutt? One star
| Register or login To Post a Comment|