Yeah it's pretty cute.. my mom told me about this. They fly delta all the time. But I'm scared shitless of flying. If I ever have to fly anywhere I'm usually crying because I'm thinking of what they'll write about me in my obit and what I haven't done with my life. It's a stupid phobia, I know, but I take airplane safety super seriously. Like, I have to drive around a dude for a living who can attack me at any moment on narrow roads. That's a million times more dangerous then any airplane flight. And if you're fucked you're fucked. You're in a tube in the sky and it's going down.

But still pay attention. I see nothing but pretty fun stuff and old memes and whatnot and now what do I do we're gonna crash into the ocean. Your last words would be "at least that Doge was funny" whereas the old ones were "at least they told me how to brace myself.." I mean, they still do, but it's still important to be serious about safety. If TSA did this then it would be like "yo don't bring your shoes in here, those are Pumps! What you hiding in those pumps and out jumps Wesley Snipes and goes HASHTAG 9/11"

Zest: clonazepam

Here's what you do, zest. You make yourself feel better by having a crash plan and a post-crash plan. It may be nonsense, but your brain will thank you for the unstated premise that you'll survive. First, the crash plan. Look to the person next to you and think of the most wildly inappropriate thing you can possibly say to them during a plane crash. Know that when the time comes, you will go down having said a real zinger to someone completely bewildered by it. Second, pick out which human on the plane you will eat if you crash somewhere uninhabitable like the Himalayas or New Jersey. Once you have your one-liner and cannibal snackacaust, you'll never crash because of cosmic decency laws. If you sit next to the emergency exit, act like you're mentally handicapped, it's hilarious.

Flying is awesome if you have the right mindset. That and when you fly enough you start to realize that you nearly die a lot, from stupid shit, so you stop worrying about it. It's silly to imagine the wing falling off on its own when the damned thing nearly clips the runway on takeoff or landing every tenth flight.

Don't listen to these fools, IZ, you just need to get Murdoch to drug you when you aren't expecting it and you'll be fine.

I mean Hannibal, fucking shit, I killed that one.

History repeats itself; first as meme, then as tragedy.

***** ashtar

As soon as my Homersprechen script is finished, this commercial will be replaced.

"While emergency doors are important, they're really not. You should know how to operate them in case of an emergency, IF emergencies exist, but do they really? When considering the existence of emergencies, we have to take into account the logic of emergency situations, which, as I see it, must only come in three parts[1]. Part one is the emergency, which never really exists unless you have an emergency door by which to falsely frame it as having an existence outside the door itself. Second, someone to experience the emergency, which, as philosophy demonstrates, does not exist except in non-emergency situations, so cannot actually be real. Third, science has determined that physics cannot tell the difference between a door flying off in an emergency and a door flying off because of some other situation, like a party made of wolves, or hats. Therefore, we must conclude, as science does, that to have an emergency, one must be actually delusional, or completely uninformed. Now, on to the seatbelt... or is it...?"

1. In my sixteen years as a special forces Chuck E Cheese concierge, I have never seen a door declare an emergency.

I've said this before, but EH really missed his calling as an academic philosopher.

He really did.

You can easily imagine that EvilHomer wrote Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. In fact, "EvilHomer or Wittgenstein" should be a party game.

1 The internet is all that is the case.

1.1 The internet is the totality of memes, not facts.

1.11 The internet is determined by the memes, and by these being ALL the memes.

1.12 For the totality of memes determines what is the case, and also all that is not the case.

1.13 The memes in logical space are the internet.

1.2 The internet divides into memes.

1.21 Any one can be either a meme or not a meme, and everything else remain the same (Milhouse, 420)


OMNOMNOM CAN I HAS TENURE NAO PLZ?

I think a big factor is that newer memes are more likely to have been deliberately designed to "go viral" while older ones are more likely to be just something that people found on the Internet. They are designed to be catchy, inoffensive, and adaptable, like a classic commercial jingle.

Memes are business nowadays. Every meme in this commercial is owned by someone who has an agent.