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Desc:Splinter was not available for comment
Tags:ninja, pizza, pizza time, papa johns
Submitted:infinite zest
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Comment count is 25
Old_Zircon - 2015-07-22
Rampant ninja related crimes these days... Papa John's is not the exception...
Hooker - 2015-07-22
These are clearly ninjers.
Hooker - 2015-07-22
Wait, I just realized that sounds really racist if you don't watch a lot of Godfrey Ho movies...

Potrod - 2015-07-22
You're on poetv. The second meaning didn't even occur to me.

Anyway you can tell they're ninjers by their brightly colored ninjer outfits. Though they're missing the NIN * JA headband.

Hooker - 2015-07-22
Those are the shoguns and knights of the Hong Kong and Southeast Asia ninjitsu hierarchy. For every brightly coloured and headbanded ninja there is an army of red, white, black, or camo ninjers, and black is clearly the lowest caste. They're the ones that wear rollerskates and have to pack into a white van to get around.

Old_Zircon - 2015-07-22
I just discovered that the Nin Ja headband is an actual product made by Pro Force (a well established company that makes martial arts equipment, not some hipster novelty clothing company making Godfrey Ho replicas) and is still being made.

Which is perfect, because I've been in the market for a headband since I got sweat on a finish during an especially hot day last week.

Old_Zircon - 2015-07-22

This should be in the PoeTV Amazon List. ATTN: SUPPORT

infinite zest - 2015-07-22
That's funny Hooker, I was thinking the same thing when I was submitting this. A boss of mine from years ago called people "Ninjas," the kind that would steal our Brillo Pads and glass pipes that the roses are in, you can probably figure it out. He wasn't racist but it was his way of not saying that word while kinda saying it, and wasn't the only person who said it. Maybe it was a Midwest thing?

Dr Robot - 2015-07-23
infinite zest, the Insane Clown Posse uses the word ninja all the time as a replacement for another word commonly used in hip hop. So yeah, kinda a midwest thing. Kinda a Juggalo thing.

White rappers on the East Coast usually use cousin instead of that other word. It doesn't rhyme the same way, but has the same number of syllables, and can be rhymed with other stuff, I guess.

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-07-23
Don't be foolish. Anyone whose opinion matters knows all about ninjers and their ninjitsu's.

EvilHomer - 2015-07-23
>> the Insane Clown Posse uses the word ninja all the time as a replacement for another word commonly used in hip hop.

Is that true? Is the Juggalo-speak term "ninja" specifically meant to be a coded reference to the word "nigga"? I always thought ICP used the word "ninja" simply because ninjas are cool.

infinite zest - 2015-07-23
Yeah that's what I thought about ICP too. I worked with another guy (at the same store) who was a proud member of the Juggalo Army and referred to himself and his fellow Juggalos as his "ninjas" even though they were white. But then again there's plenty of white dudes who refer to themselves as "nigga," even when addressing another Caucasian.

I remember when I went to the Pitchfork fest in Chicago and Gza did Liquid Swords (probably my favorite) in its entirity. Say what you will about Pitchfork but it was cheap, and I got to see Slint play all of Spiderland, Sonic Youth play all of Daydream Nation, and of course Mr. Gza for like 20 bucks (and some then-unknown bands like the excellent Deerhunter and other big names like Cat Power) and beer was only 3 bucks (for good beer)! Anyway, I've never seen so many white people shout out and sing along to "Shame on a Nigga" and use that word so passively like it didn't mean anything more than "dude" or "homie" that night.

Dr Robot - 2015-07-24
Maybe they say ninja cause it sounds cool, but in context it sounds like a replacement word for the other one we don't say. I don't really know. I'm just an outsider judging and mocking them from my safe place of detachment. Regardless of it's purpose, it's still silly.

And yeah, anyone on PoeTV who doesn't know about ninjers and their ninjitsiu either hasn't been here long enough, or should find a new home.

memedumpster - 2015-07-24
We can still use judy chops,right?

memedumpster - 2015-07-23
Better ingredients, better ninjas.
EvilHomer - 2015-07-23
That doesn't make any sense. Papa John's makes pizza, not ninjas. The ingredients themselves do not produce ninjas (given your batting average, I would not be surprised if you were a believer in spontaneous generation; trust me when I tell you that this theory is incorrect, and ninjas cannot spring forth from frozen pepperoni and non-living pizza dough). The ingredients MAY, however, provide good incentive for ninja *robberies* - either directly, because the ingredients themselves are valuable enough to be worth stealing, or indirectly, because quality ingredients attract customers, who spend money, money which will then be available to steal.

"Better ingredients, better ninja raids". That makes sense, not the thing you said.

Also, not to be a spoilsport, but I do not believe the people in this video are real ninjas. They look to me to be young Floridians, wearing what appear to be shirts around their faces, in order to conceal their identities.

memedumpster - 2015-07-23
Did you have a stroke recently? You seem to have lost the capacity to recognize idioms, figures of speech, and plays on corporate slogans. If you do have a condition that we don't know about, perhaps you should see your specialist and bring this up.

I'm actually serious this time, and a bit concerned.

infinite zest - 2015-07-23
********** for both of you!!! But technically Papa John's slogan is a false one: "Better" implies better than Pizza Hut or Dominoes, but without just saying it, they're just saying that their ingredients are better than ordering a "pizza" in a box containing nothing at all!

Car commercials do this all the time: A better car for a better you, etc. but they straight-up compare the quality of the car to what they believe to be the inferior competitor's model. Dominoes did one worse with their "this isn't the Dominoes you used to know" artisan thing.. it just says you've been eating our shitty pizza, but we're not shitty anymore! C'mon Pizza places! Get competitive!

memedumpster - 2015-07-23
My favorite is Time Warner's "Demand better." Oh god, how we do, yet no one listens.

EvilHomer - 2015-07-23
No, I recognized the play on a corporate slogan. It should be quite obvious that I did, because otherwise, I would not have been able to infer the original formulation of what you said, namely: "Better ingredients, better pizza".

What I am saying is that your attempt to re-contextualize the Papa John's advertising slogan is nonsensical, and, while to your credit what you said fits the metre of the original source material quite, your mockery is crudely construced, and collapses almost immediately upon critical examination. The original advertising slogan, "Better ingredients, better pizza, Papa John's", makes sense. It may not be *true* exactly, but it has a perfectly logical structure behind it: the conclusion ("(you should eat) Papa John's") flows naturally from the two preceding propositions ("(we have) better ingredients, (this therefore results in) better pizza").

Yours, does not.

I am trying to help you here, Mr Dumpster. That is why I proof-read your statement and offered my own rewrite, one which is both more logical AND more appropriate to the situation: "Better ingredients, better ninja raids". Do not worry. I don't claim any sort of creative property rights in regards to that statement. You may use it freely, and without citation, if you so choose.

EvilHomer - 2015-07-23
^ sorry, "what you said fits the metre... quite well". I am typing this on my phone, and I want to be sure I properly give you credit where credit is true.

15th - 2015-07-23
I wish Meme and Homer would write a children's book together. It'd be 600 pages long and incredible.

EvilHomer - 2015-07-23
DUE! Fuck.

memedumpster - 2015-07-23

15th, that sounds like something I'll have to do in hell for eternity, so I'll save it for then.

Billy the Poet - 2015-07-23
We will fight to battle the sin!
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