|Old_Zircon - 2015-07-27 |
Rich Evans looks like he wasn't ready for the Sandler experience.
|memedumpster - 2015-07-27 |
Why is Rich so much hotter than the rest of them? It's really not fair.
Of course I do, but he and Mike both are just obviously hot, like supermodels, but that's also a boring kind of hot that works against them.
Hey, you think we could get a Red Letter Media calendar?
If I shaved off my beard and put on another 10 pounds I would look like a taller Rich Evans.
What I'm saying is that Rich Evans is basically the penultimate example of masculine beauty.
I've wanted to see these dudes flip fucking since 2009.
See, I told you Plinkett was still alive.
|robots - 2015-07-27 |
I've been foaming at the mouth since the movie released to have RLM review this. To be honest, their review of Jack and Jill was great. By comparison, this review just didn't have the same bite. Four stars
Probably because they are aware of how the game of "let's make a screamy review of an Adam Sandler movie" has gotten ruined by the internet at large, so this is more of just an expression of their disappointment.
|Aress - 2015-07-27 |
For context here's the original short film as it appeared on POEtv.
holy shit i forgot how good that was. and that i'd seen it before
"This video is unavailable."
What the hell did you just watch!?
|infinite zest - 2015-07-27 |
Damnit, I kinda want to go get shitfaced and watch this on LSD Wednesday. Per my other comment about movies like Guardians of the Galaxy and Mad Max setting the bar so high that the mainstream audience realizes it has better things to do than watch movies like these and don't go, now I'm kinda compelled to see it.
You think you want to do that but you'll regret it.
I thought I would with mad max. First 3d movie I ever saw besides a John Holmes time travel movie.. yeah I think I'll skip this one.
I'm curious why everyone thought Guardians was so great. I thought it was one of the worst comic book movies I've ever seen. I would rather sit through The Spirit than have to watch it again.
And this is coming from someone who thought Gunn's Dawn of the Dead remake was the best zombie movie ever.
I didn't know Gunn Penned that thing (heh). Personally I liked GotG because it captured a nostalgic "why do we like going to the movies" vibe that's been absent from movies since who knows when. I mean, maybe it's not everybody's cup of teal. I loved Watchmen and Moore won't even watch it with me if I tried, not that I would, and that's cool, and I guess I don't know how to answer this question because I didn't read the comics much but the movie was badthefuckass.
I hate comic book movies, I think they're vapid crap. Guardians ran like a BioWare RPG, which was one step up from the usual Marvel vapid crap, and they also bothered to put a few extra rendering passes on the cg, so it looked good enough. It was in no way shape or form a great movie, or profound, or deep, or anything groundbreaking, but it was damned good for the likes of Marvel. Most of all, it was fun. The closest Marvel has to an actual movie is Iron Man 3, until the cg crapfest end makes all the character development useless. There's not much use judging comic book movies by real movie standards, however, so I don't bother.
Make no mistake, though, I do enjoy some of the other vapid crap Marvel comes out with, I do have my favorites. I try and avoid DC movies completely, so I am still a sucker for bright colors and snarkspeak.
I think Marvel only ever made 3 good movies: the first Spiderman, half of the first and last X-man movies, and Punisher Warzone.
Guardians just pissed me off. Not since Tarantino has a director been so obnoxious with his sound track. At least Tarantino had some good taste and felt like a record store clerk genuinely interested in exposing people to obscure stuff. Guardians gives us Jimmy fucking Buffet songs and Hooked on a Feeling, a song that had been beaten to pop culture death by Ally McBeal over 15 years ago.
Plus, with all the crazy accusations of misogyny in movies these days, I'm surprised not a single person called out Guardians when the genuine article was blatantly on display. The movie couldn't go 15 minutes without telling us how the heart of gold rogue totally fucks lots of chicks and kicks them off his ship; he's got the cumstains to prove it!
The rest was pedestrian humor ("I am Groot", really?), ill-fitting cameos, an ending checklist to see how many Star Wars climax scenes they could rip off, and finally they defeat the villain with not one but TWO Care Bear stares.
(Gunn desperately wishes he was Tarantino. Not just because of the soundtrack, but it's the only explanation for how a guy clinging to pre-90s American pop culture and tech because it was his last contact with Earth was able to reference Pulp Fiction's glowing briefcase in his list of movie McGuffins).
You're not wrong.
It's the Marvel way.
One thing to consider about Gunn and Guardians is not all of the things we hate about Marvel may be his fault. Reading movie news, I notice a lot of directors walk out on Marvel about two to six months in to agreeing to direct a Marvel movie. I bet they get a list of bullshit demands that make the movie safe, stupid, sexist, and generally pointless. Another thing to consider is the Pentagon, which came out recently as having its claws in popular media, including having a say in how Avengers portrayed Captain America, with input in all future movies based on the character. If a military anything is in your movie, the Pentagon gets line by line propaganda say in your script. Look at this Hitler's Fucking Russia bullshit :
Basically, Marvel is a whore that only gives blowjobs to a clientele of retards, and can never be changed no matter who you are. You either fluff the whore, or you find a new job. Gunn can totally be accused of fluffing the whore, but he may not be choosing its clients.
|Caminante Nocturno - 2015-07-28 |
Sausages coming out of a stab wound.
|boner - 2015-07-28 |
I've probably written this here before but... Sandler showed up at the premiere of Chris Rock's Top Five in Toronto (Pixels had just been shot there). People from the audience circled around him for about 15 minutes before the show, just staring at him. That's his miserable life right there.
God bless the couple sat next to me who didn't know or care who Adam Sandler was.
|StanleyPain - 2015-07-28 |
I think this is the best review of the movie I have seen because it's very honest and real (which is typical for these guys) instead of this manufactroversy bullshit about this is exploiting geek gamers and destroying nerd culture and ruining our childhood (says people WAY too young to even remember classic arcades) and all that nonsense.
It's just a fucking shitty movie made for shitty reasons...not the Holocaust.
Even though it was a throwaway gag I do kinda want to see them review The Day the Clown Cried.
|John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-07-28 |
This movie wants to be GHOSTBUSTERS so bad!!!
|John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-07-28 |
Fred Savage didn't disappear off the planet; he directs now!
|chumbucket - 2015-07-28 |
One of the filthiest water coolers I've ever seen.
Stars for the Poochie reference.
|fluffy - 2015-07-28 |
Also while we're looking at plot holes in an Adam Sandler movie, Tetris was written in 1984 and didn't come out in the US until 1987.
And the Futurama episode did a way better job of this story.
|FABIO - 2015-07-28 |
Now they've got me thinking how great this premise would have been if you made the characters obvious stand ins for Billy Mitchell & crew, and given it to guys who put talent and effort into their action/comedy movies like Pegg/Frost/Wright.
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