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Desc:When teachers dream...
Category:Educational, Science & Technology
Tags:holland, sleep, Fake, netherlands, fire extinguisher
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Comment count is 9
Binro the Heretic
I had one teacher who would get next to napping students and slam a book shut inches away from their head.

He would probably get fired for that, now.
infinite zest
Heh my dad had the same story, except replace the "inches away" with in their face. That teacher would later go on to be the head referee for several Super Bowls.

Binro the Heretic
Yeah, that was back in the days teachers were allowed to beat children with boards.

Mr. Bookslammer (not his actual name, but that would have been awesome) was actually an easy-going teacher who didn't believe in paddling.

Not believing in paddling: that's a paddlin'.

infinite zest
Simpsons quote? You better believe that's a paddlin.

I had one teacher in "Wellness" class who was a decrepit, shambling octogenarian. Name was Payne which will become pertinent later. He had been a big deal in his college baseball and football days in the 50s, then came out to coach for a while and after a loosing streak just became a health teacher.

By the time I was in his class, he was already a punchline. So many stories from that time. The pertinent story was: I was in his class along with our Johnny Footballguy, who was actually more like Randall Floyd from Dazed and Confused, except even more of an asshole, and who for simplicity I shall refer to simply as "Pink." Pink fell asleep a lot in Payne's early morning class...

One day Payne decided he had enough of it, and during his lecture while talking normally, saddled up to Pink, picked up his textbook, and then just dropped it from a few inches above his desk. It was clearly based on the meme Binro is talking about, where a teacher slams a book down, and eventually wins over the class and drives out the troublemakers, but he was so old and weak it didn't even wake Pink up.

Other stories: we were supposed to be recording everything we ate over a few weeks, then submitting it as a report. I didn't do homework in those days, but luckily (?) for me I had broken my right wrist a week earlier (in that very class). I just scribbled a few intentionally illegible pages, and submitted it with my name attached. Payne returned it with a C+ and the note "I can't read". I showed the written proof of his illiteracy to anyone who would look as a joke. I also used the paper itself to change my grade in his class to an A (which I did not deserve, given that his class was supposed to be a combination of Health and PE, and for all the PE parts I just used my broken wrist or asthma to get out of doing anything physical.)

But the best story was on one of his more animated days, and he was talking about health-type stuff, and one of the vocabulary words we came across was carboxyl polyhydrate, or something like that. And he was really keen on this term, and he wanted one of the students to write it on the board, and so he picked his early favorite, Johnny Footballguy, aka Pink, to write it, and Pink looks at Payne, and looks at some of his buddies in the class and writes on the board "Carboxyl Payneisahomo". And we all stifled our laughter, and Payne totally did not notice, and that phrase stayed on the board for almost two months.

I feel bad for the old ball coach in that story.

That guy
I had a few lecture-hall classes with quiet, boring professors in rooms that were inevitably way too hot or too cold....

And yeah, they got mad when students fell asleep.

This is more high school age kids, so I'm sure I'd be on his side.
My dad had a teacher who would keep those throw-em snapper fireworks at hand for this purpose.
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