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Desc:Just in time for three years too late for anyone to give a fuck
Category:Video Games, Trailers
Tags:of course theres a cartoon, angry birds, who asked for this?, timing is everything
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 25
StanleyPain - 2015-09-23
I like how theres not even a trace of story here. The game, such as it is, is about the birds fighting the pigs to get their eggs back. This is about...what exactly?
Caminante Nocturno - 2015-09-23
This, like the game, is all a metaphor for the Crimean War.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-09-23
It's about birds, and they're angry.

NewHeavenSockman - 2015-09-24
i'd like to give the benefit of the doubt that maybe this is a clever play on the various episodes of pigs being introduced to islands and subsequently destroying all native life, but naaaaaaaaaah.

fluffy - 2015-09-23
They probably greenlit this project years ago back when Rovio was still rolling in pay-to-not-die cash and it just took them this long to make it and all the animators have been plugging away trying to give it their all even realizing that nobody's going to give a shit when it finally comes out.

Of course for whatever reason Peter Dinklage is in this, further proving that he must owe something to the mob and/or Satan for getting his role in Game of Thrones or something.
infinite zest - 2015-09-23
Keegan Michael Key and Danny McBride as well! But this wouldn't be the first time comedians have lent themselves to CGI movies and it won't be the last. And more power to them. Shitty movie that'll make millions, sure. But Dinklage I don't really get. He's not known for his distinctive voice, but rather his stature. Doesn't mean that he's just a little person and nothing more (although I've never seen him act well in anything good, and that includes GoT, sorry) but why not get any other voice actor out there, save millions of dollars, since you're working with CGI creatures that can be 10 feet tall or the size of a mouse?

Oh yeah, because they can.

And now, let's start a pool: what'll be the next app-turned movie? Candy Crush? Five Nights at Freddys or QWOP?

Killer Joe - 2015-09-23
Five nights got optioned a while back.

EvilHomer - 2015-09-24
I doubt this will happen, but "Should I Buy Bread Today?" really needs its own feature film.

Gmork - 2015-09-23
Dear god. It's more horrible than I could have imagined.
Prickly Pete - 2015-09-23
When will studios stop thinking every CG movie needs a scene where one of the characters rapidly changes poses?
Seven Arts/H8 Red - 2015-09-23
When the executives stop hitting on the opposite sex, trying desperately to get laid while talking like Elvis Presley.

EvilHomer - 2015-09-23
Hopefully they'll stop the movie every three minutes, refusing to resume until you sign on to Facebook and beg your friends for help.
infinite zest - 2015-09-23
I'd five star this comment but I ran out of stars for the next 23:57..

SolRo - 2015-09-23
Angry birds is this interesting experiment of trying to run a giant public corporation based on having one successful product and being unable to think up anything else.
EvilHomer - 2015-09-23
Angry Birds, Angry Birds Seasons, Angry Birds Space, Bad Piggies, and at least the first two Angry Birds Star Wars, they were all great games. It was a formula, not a product, that Rovio built their empire upon.

After that, Rovio got greedy and killed the one successful formula they had.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-09-23
I chuckled. Twice. Dear God what's happening to me?

This is going to be one of those movies like "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" or "Super Mario Bros" where people look back on it years from now and ask themselves, "Jesus, who thought adapting this product into a feature film was a sound idea?"
infinite zest - 2015-09-23
I dunno, I'm not going to see it, but it might have some more "adult" humor that similar CGI cashgrabs lack, which are aimed mostly at families. AB, unlike Disney/PIxar or the rest was that "I'm bored at work" sort of game, something you play on the bus, and not something you really get invested in like a kid would a cute animal that sings songs or whatever. I'm sure kids play AB, but I don't know any who do, so.. um.. hey they're making an Angry Birds Movie.

EvilHomer - 2015-09-24
Mario would have made a great feature film had they stuck to established canon, instead of handing the film to people unfamiliar with the source material, while the Garbage Pail Kids movie was exactly what it should have been.

I always thought Angry Birds would make a nice cartoon, but as Killer Joe says, "timing is everything". Angry Birds was hella cool four years ago, but Rovio's day has passed (apparently this part summer they laid off nearly half of their workers), and by 2016 a film like this is just going to look sad.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-09-24
This generation's Super Mario Bros is the Avatar movie.

TeenerTot - 2015-09-24
Jesus, even my mom doesn't play AG anymore.
TeenerTot - 2015-09-24
uh...AB. For angry birds.


Hooker - 2015-09-24
I guess bad rhymes with mad, which is a synonym of angry? Is that what they're going for with that music?
infinite zest - 2015-09-24
Shoulda gone with "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis

fluffy - 2015-09-24
I think what they're going for is "We're Sony Pictures and we have unfettered access to the entire Michael Jackson catalog since he sold the rights to us during his financial decline."

bopeton - 2015-09-24
Yeah, but what happens in it?
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