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Comment count is 23
Oscar Wildcat - 2015-10-13

Is Shut Up a thing? Because it didn't take more than 15 seconds to get there the last time I got one of these calls.

Ring Ring
This is Microsoft. We have reports of your computer being infected with a virus!
What!?!?! You mean my computer has herpes?!?! and I've been fucking it for months without any protection!
--click bzzzzzz----

EvilHomer - 2015-10-13

It's because you came on too strongly. The beauty of Lenny is that he *sounds* legit, for the first six minutes or so. It's not until he repeats himself three or four times that the scammer's confused frustration progresses to anger.

yogarfield - 2015-10-13

shut up

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

I kinda feel bad for the telemarketer here. No matter the organization, they're all out to get your money, and wasting 11 minutes on Lenny is probably going to cost this guy his job.

I wasn't a telemarketer for very long but I used to work for the Fund for the Public Interest, you know, saving the planet and all that stuff. Anyway we couldn't hang up once a connection was established so someone got me into a long conversation and I swear I could hear the daughter saying "hang up mom" in the background. Anyway, I continued and she wanted to re-up her pledge and also pledge 00, so I was at the end of a pretty excruciating 30 minutes, and she went to get her credit card and left the phone off the hook and never came back. I couldn't hang up until I asked a supervisor to disconnect me and he told me to pack my shit and leave because I fucked up my quota.

giygusattack - 2015-10-13

This guy isn't a telemarketer, he's a computer scammer. He deserves everything he gets.

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

Oh yeah.. it's funny that my parents would probably know more about these things than I do, since I don't and have never had a land line of my own. I was just thinking of a friend of mine who worked at a shell corporation that was literally called Shell Tech Solutions, or something like that, the goal not being to steal but to sell useless bullshit to Windows users. The best one he had was spending an hour on the phone with someone who thought he was talking about his actual windows, like they needed washing.

So in a way it was stealing but under the guise of "I hereby agree to be stolen from" vs. hacking in.. anyway he doesn't work for that place anymore and the company shut down way back in the late ot's.

yogarfield - 2015-10-13

zesty what haven't you done?

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

Hard to say. Never any big pants jobs.. if this guy did get fired like I did it's pretty easy to bounce back though, since there's no callback number and often not a physical address, like potential employers would go that far anyway, be it a non-profit save the world place like I worked or a trick grandpa out of his social security check place like this is. In hindsight I could've put down a whole bunch of shell corporations I didn't work for if I wanted to stay on the phones, and over time made more $, but I chose another path. Plus that job was ruining my voice and at the time I was still planning on being a pro opera singer. I also like it because "independent contractor" sounds way more badass and mysterious as a job title than it actually is. :)

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-10-13

It's hard to top what's being said to begin with. But I get your point.

At some point in the future the bulk of telecommunications bandwidth will be consumed by robots talking to other robots.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-10-13

Lenny is genius!
Is this working automatically or is is like a soundboard and a human being is controlling it?

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-10-13

Its sooooo cool if it automatic. No humans time is being wasted.

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

Purple Cat I can't remember if you live in the States, but you can call him yourself and find out!


It's automatic but it's pretty predictable. It's prompted by speech but goes through the same routine. I just took a few random words out of this thread and asked his name.. but still it's awesome, it's just not the Siri-esque ones that are popping up now, which will stop if you interrupt, tell you that of course they're a human, even tell you a joke or something to prove it.

Also try calling and not saying anything at all. Poor Lenny. But he got excited when he heard me typing and laughing at the same time, so I made an old bot feel good. Also I feel a little better knowing that this guy isn't designed to trick ALL telemarketers, just the ones who would autodial a DO NOT CALL #.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-10-13

nah I'm Irish man! but thanks anyway!

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

That's right.. I want to go to Ireland. If you still feel like it, maybe this will work too:

sip:[email protected]

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

Shit never mind.. that site's also a ripoff, especially to talk to a bot. I'll just post videos of me saying things to Lenny and post it? Suggestions welcome. I stick to the script yo!

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-10-13

If your over here we should meet up for a pint!
You can let me know by commenting on a future video of a morbidly obsee MGTOW making a racist rant.
You should explain to Lenny that *your* 3rd eldest is doing even better, got a 1st and has a high-flying career.

infinite zest - 2015-10-13

Aw shit, now it's saying the number's been disconnected. Did I just do a thing?

Simillion - 2015-10-13

(Ducks in the background quacking) ..I'm sorry, c-can you hold on a minute...

EvilHomer - 2015-10-13


Stop dat. Stop dat.

AAAGGGG OOOOO!!!! booonk

Stop. Stop dat.


Caminante Nocturno - 2015-10-13

Lenny is like a Mr. Burgess from a mirror universe.

Binro the Heretic - 2015-10-13


Gmork - 2015-10-15

Made my morning.

Nikon - 2015-10-15

It's been a rough couple of days. This was appreciated.

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