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Desc:Enjoy your re-heated comfort food, nerds
Category:Trailers, Classic Movies
Tags:Star Wars, nerd chow, where is jar jar?
Submitted:betamaxed
Date:10/19/15
Views:2248
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Comment count is 118
15th - 2015-10-19
I didn't know they were working on this. It'll probably be the first Star Wars I'll see in theaters. My money's on the masked antagonist being Jar Jar.
Aelric - 2015-10-19
You claim you somehow didn't know of this and also bother to connect to the internet or watch TV or walk down a street? I think you are a hipster liar. You can not like star wars, that's fine, I barely like it anymore myself, but you knew. You knew, you lying cunt. You always knew.

15th - 2015-10-20
I have ad blocker, but not cable. Case closed, blow me.

SolRo - 2015-10-20
no one ever will.

15th - 2015-10-20
Shucks.

themilkshark - 2015-10-20
Jar Jar references are soooooooooo edgy yo

Aelric - 2015-10-20
LIES LIES LIES!!!! You've been lying to me since I was a child. But you'll get yours, oh yes, you'll get yours.

I've been washing my penis again and again in anticipation of your ascension. You shall be as a god!

infinite zest - 2015-10-20
I guess I knew about this but I kind of forgot. And I like Star Trek a lot and I swear I didn't know a new one had come out until I saw it on the TV at the bar

15th - 2015-10-20
I have been exposed!

baleen - 2015-10-20
I guess I sort of knew this was happening but didn't really think about it. Apparently there's a black person in it? That's making people angry right?

il fiore bel - 2015-10-20
JAR JAR IS DEAD BY THIS TIME YOU INSENSITIVE JERKS

(maybe)

Chicken the Did - 2017-10-19
Actually he's alive and the town drunk on Coruscant. Because of his association, passive or not with the Empire he's despised. And due to his you know, perceived cuddling up with the alien hating empire we all knew and loved the other gungans won't have anything to do with him either. They'll fucking end up if he approaches them.

Nikon - 2015-10-19
Nope.
The Mothership - 2015-10-19
Can't make me. Won't do it.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-19
I'm as anti-Star Wars as they get, and I'm calling you a fucking liar if you say you won't see this.

infinite zest - 2015-10-19
I'd be a liar if I didn't say I'd download it

sasazuka - 2015-10-20
It looks okay, but I hope there's some punchy comedy in line with the original trilogy and it isn't all leaden dialogue about the Force and rebuilding the Empire.

I'm still going to wait and see what the reviews are like. I never saw JURASSIC WORLD, I never saw AVATAR, I can go without ever seeing another STAR WARS movie if it's just mediocre.

SolRo - 2015-10-20
You missed out if you didn't see avatar in 3D in a theater, space Pocahontas plot aside.

Cena_mark - 2015-10-20
You nerds are all going to see it.

Nikon - 2015-10-20
No, I'm not going to.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
I am.

The hundred dollar question is, will I go in cosplay? At this point, no, probably not.

themilkshark - 2015-10-20
Wow there are some really cool people here that are too cool for Star Wars

baleen - 2015-10-20
I love Star Wars.
I also love my childhood.
And yes, I am too cool to watch George Lucas rape my childhood.

If you are a millennial, you probably don't have the trappings of nostalgia keeping you from enjoying these awfully written, horribly produced abominations.

Cena_mark - 2015-10-20
But Lucas isn't directing this.

That guy - 2015-10-20
How many different ways can one Cash Cow Franchise shit in your mouth before you stop caring about who's directing it or whether they fixed it?

Cena_mark - 2015-10-20
I guess more than three.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
You're going to go see it, right Cena?

Cena_mark - 2015-10-20
Of course I'm going to see it. Sure the last three were disappointing, but they were alright. Expectations were super high. Either way, Star Wars is just one of those things that's just so ingrained into our culture. The release of each film is an event. The true nerds are the people who would miss a party this big.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
Jedi or Sith? Also, what's your favorite alien race?

That guy - 2015-10-20
Cena, you're not counting all the bullshit merch like xbox kinect star wars dance party, etc etc x1000??

Cena_mark - 2015-10-21
Jedi and Ewoks.
That guy, I don't have any Star Wars merch. I've just watched the films. If anything the merch is less of a ripoff than being bamboozled into another bad film since stuff like action figures are more straight forward.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-21
See? People keep accusing us of being the same person, but we couldn't be more different. I mark for Sith and Twi'lek. I'm also partial to Rancor. Ewoks and Jedi are two of my *least* favorite!

Star Wars merch is stupid. The only non-film Star Wars stuff I've bothered with are the classic PC games (games > films, which is another thing I'm sure Cena and I would disagree on) and thanks to piracy, I didn't even pay for those.

Cena_mark - 2015-10-21
I had the Super Starwars games for SNES. They were awesome despite the gameplay being slowed down by the lack of a blast processor.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-10-21
I'M NOT GOING TO SEE IT!
(yes, I am.)

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-19
I hate pretty much everything about Star Wars culture. I hate the parodies, I hate the HILARIOUS web skits where Darth Vader works at a drive-thru or whatever, and I cannot express in words how fucking over I am of "But what if Imperial Stormtroopers WERE IN REAL LIFE??????" videos. Jesus Christ. Nothing in the history of the human experience has been more over-exposed than goddamned Star Wars.

......but this looks pretty good. It doesn't pander to fanboy nostalgia with obvious musical cues or obvious fanservice. It genuinely looks like an earnest attempt to continue the story without all the self-conscious baggage of the prequel trilogy. It looks like--god help us--a fun movie.
poorwill - 2015-10-20
"It doesn't pander to fanboy nostalgia with obvious musical cues or obvious fanservice" Ummmmmmmmmmmmm ...

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-20
It could've been much, much worse.

Hooker - 2015-10-20
The Nazi's could have been worse, if we're splitting hairs.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-21
Now you're just being unfair to Hitler.

urbanelf - 2015-10-19
Send a email to this webzone if you want a pizza role.
urbanelf - 2015-10-19
roll

chumbucket - 2015-10-20
If I wear sunglasses can I be Pizza Steve?

Juice Eggs McKenna - 2015-10-19
Sure why not, what's the worst that can happen?
StanleyPain - 2015-10-19
Sets? Locations? Actors using blocking? A camera that moves? Frame composition?

What sorcery is this?
Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-20
I hope the rest of the movie is just people on couches, getting up, walking over to a window, then sitting back down on the couch.

That will be the final battle. A couch chase.

memedumpster - 2015-10-20
Did you see Jupiter Ascending? It was shot exactly like the Star Wars prequels, but it made Lucas look like a technical film making genius.

RockBolt - 2015-10-21
It seems JJ can make a movie without keeping his ass firmly planted in a chair, directing from monitors with a giant coffee in his hand

Aelric - 2015-10-19
I will point out that Abrams cuts a mean trailer that occationally doesn't have too much movie behind it. *ahem* super 8
Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-21
The very fact that this trailer isn't three minutes of lightsabers and the Star Wars theme tells me this is gonna be Good Abrams.

misterbuns - 2015-10-20
his star trek movies thought they were starwars movies. this will be fine. probably not great but what is wrong with that really?
misterbuns - 2015-10-20
his star trek movies thought they were starwars movies. this will be fine. probably not great but what is wrong with that really?
Waugh - 2015-10-20
KID IS SHITTY AND MOUTHS OFF
SolRo - 2015-10-20
HAY GUYS MY MENTALLY JR HIGHSCHOOL-AGED CLIQUE DOESNT LIKE YOU! YOU SHOULD CARE! YOU SHOULD CARE A LOT!!!

DONT YOU WISH YOU COULD SIT AT OUR TABLE?! WELL YOU CANT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT COOL ENOUGH!

WHAT, YOUR MOM MADE YOU A PB&J SANDWICH?! LAME!! I GOT LUNCHABLES AND GOGURT!

CHECK OUT MY NEW BMX BIKE! WATCH ME DO A WHEELIE!

Waugh - 2015-10-20
ok enjoy your nerd shit while the noose tightens around your neck i don't care

Gmork - 2015-10-20
Waugh would be funny if it was painfully obvious he thinks he's some sort of counter-culture messiah. The unmerited egotism is what kills it for you.

Aelric - 2015-10-20
I love you, Waugh!

Waugh - 2015-10-20
give me a fuckin break, what counterculture

memedumpster - 2015-10-20
Waugh totally cares. I'm calling you out, Waugh. It's long since time you admitted it.

I've never seen someone care more than Waugh. Waugh would hold back the sun's dimming to save you wretches, but doesn't feel they have the power to save anyone, so laments.

Waugh is love and frustration for a hard to love, frustrating planet.

I admire that, and no one should feel shame for it.

Potrod - 2015-10-20
Nobody who wastes this much of their life on a site they purport to hate should be as smug as waugh.

Waugh - 2015-10-21
memedumpster, there's nothing frustrating about this "planet", it's just suffering an infestation.

baleen - 2015-10-21
WOW

memedumpster - 2015-10-21
*EXT GARDEN DAY ARCADIA, camera zooms slowly in to LIL WAUGH, age six, standing over broken toy, arms crossed, bottom lip quivering*

VOICE OF JESUS
Waugh, your toy, what happened?

WAUGH
I don't care, it's stupid and broken.

VOICE OF JESUS
But you loved that toy.

WAUGH
No I don't! I hate it! I hate it! It... left me.

*LIL WAUGH runs away crying. JESUS appears and picks up the toy, a sweet smile on his face as he watches Lil' Waugh run away*

VOICE OF JESUS
Oh sweet lamb, your heart fills up so fast and overflows with being alive.

Waugh - 2015-10-21
boring shtick

memedumpster - 2015-10-21
Look into my mouth.

Waugh - 2015-10-21
paska

memedumpster - 2015-10-21
Your hand is in the box already, you had no choice.

The veil over your eyes may fall, but you will not remain.

BOX.

Waugh - 2015-10-21
fucking contrived

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-10-21
Bringing back memories for you?

Waugh - 2015-10-22
ROUS IS SHITTY AND MOUTHS OFF

Waugh - 2015-10-22
jesus christ you excuse police terror and you're actually named after the princess bride why are you even allowed to live dude

memedumpster - 2015-10-20
If the Force calls to you, you run the hell away.
Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-21
The Force called to me once. It said some very reasonable things about welfare reform, but once it started talking about Israel, hooooo boy.

Tough American Bouncer - 2015-10-20
Look, it is that children's movie all grown up!
Binro the Heretic - 2015-10-20
Do you remember the prequel trilogy? Do you remember pod racing and Jar-jar Binks? Do you remember Anakin riding fat-ass balloon cows? Do you remember Threepio and Artoo shoehorned in in the most ridiculous way?

It's about fucking time they let it grow up a little.

Binro the Heretic - 2015-10-20
Still cautiously optimistic.
Lurchi - 2015-10-20
They're gonna be milking this for the next hundred years (at least)
Lurchi - 2015-10-20
That's a lot o' milking from about five hours total of good material.

il fiore bel - 2015-10-20
Aha! Ahahahaha! OMG, OMGGUYZ, HAVE YOU PREORDERED your TICKETS YET?!?!??!?!

To be honest though... okay, it may just be that it's first thing in the morning, but this still looks worlds better than the shit Lucas pinched off 10-15 years ago. I don't know what that says in terms of quality, but I would be willing to catch this in the theatre. Probably a matinee.
chumbucket - 2015-10-20
Granted, I'm a Star Wars fan and I think this trailer looks pretty epic, but PREORDER MOVIE TICKETS?? I've been seeing this insanity over websites going down for preorders on a movie not seen in another 2 months. Do they want film to go the way of video gaming next where they throw all this hype at preordering and buying something LONG before you ever get it. Next up will be having to pay to get access to "beta trailers" or paying to see the "alternate ending edits" or "extended film version subscription fun club membership". F that.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
Early Access film pass - pay full price now to watch a movie that's less than half-finished (no sound, scenes out of order etc), in hopes that someday the filmmakers will get around to finishing the rest.

Bonus Costume Pack DLC - .99 to watch the movie again, with slightly different costumes digitally superimposed over one or two of the actors.

Facebook Integration - movie stops every fifteen minutes, and will not start again until you either pay more money, or get five friends to Like a Facebook story about the film you are watching.

Always-On Internet DRM - movie needs to be connected to EA servers at all times. If your local home/movie-theatre wifi goes down (which happens occasionally), or if EA's servers shit the bed (which happens regularly), then the film is erased, and you'll need to spend six hours on EA's customer support network, vainly trying to get your viewing rights re-authenticated.

chumbucket - 2015-10-20
Thanks Homer, exactly! All of that, no doubt will likely happen in one form or another. Come to think of it, all of the insane number of different "teaser trailers" and leaked photos felt very much like the hype they give something like the next COD release ffs.

memedumpster - 2015-10-20
Pre-order actually looks like a bad sign here, like with video games. Someone saw it, determined it really sucked, and that they needed to get money before the reviewers saw it.

Hooker - 2015-10-20
Hahahahaha. Five stars for "tickets now available." Jesus Christ.
infinite zest - 2015-10-20
I don't think it's THAT weird.. that's how it's always worked in the musical theatre. There may be some rush tickets left over but otherwise too bad try again.. I remember buying Dead Moon tickets because like 4 months in advance telling myself "please don't get sick.."

But the thing is movie theatres don't have assigned seating. I know this because they tried it at the theatre I worked at and it failed. Your POS can still track how many people are in there by the tickets sold but it's a rough estimate.

chumbucket - 2015-10-20
Well theater shows are usually either a one time thing or a limited run. A movie like this will be hanging around in multiplex form 3D, 2D, whateverD for a good month or so. Advance tickets for this is just a greedy move to snag drooling fans cash before anything is actually traded for it.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-10-20
Meh, that's pretty typical of trailers for upcoming modern huge releases. I know every single Hunger Games sequel had "TICKETS NOW ON SALE!" at the end of their latest trailers.

Between video games and Apple products, there's a generation of kids who have been raised in a pre-order culture, so now that they're young adults that can go to the movies by themselves, you can't really blame Hollywood for jumping on the bandwagon.

SolRo - 2015-10-20
Apperently my local good theater is doing reserved seating, and when I looked the first showing only had a couple neck injury seats left for the IMAX show

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-10-20
I just looked at my own theater out of sheer curiosity.

Both IMAX showings on opening night are sold out, and all the theaters with reserve seating are completely sold out with the exception of the handicapped seats.

I have never, ever seen this happen before.

SolRo - 2015-10-21
Opening nights on new Star Wars movies are pretty fun if you live in any kind of populated area, a bunch of people go in costumes. Had a parade of maybe 50+ storm troopers in San Diego for the 3rd movie

Gmork - 2015-10-20
Description sounds like it was written by someone with head trauma or legos jammed in their rectum.
EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
WARNING: "comfort food" is a trigger-word for Gmork.

StanleyPain - 2015-10-20
I'm going to call foul on the usage of "nerd" in the description. You clearly have your terms mixed up. "Nerd" is a derogatory for someone heavily into an academic discipline, whereas "Geek" is for someone into some form of fan culture, at least in contemporary terms.

Nerd/geek culture peeps get this wrong all the time because they are dumb so you can be forgiven for also using it incorrectly, but I would fix the description.
EvilHomer - 2015-10-20
Counterpoint: nerdcore, nerdsploitation, and the usage of "nerds" in the films, 'Revenge of the Nerds".

I put it to you that the term "nerd" has at least two meanings; a narrow, and a broad. The narrow meaning of "nerd" is the one which you put forward - i.e. an individual heavily into an academic discipline ("I'm not a nerd, Bart. Nerds are smart!" ~ Milhouse). However, the broad meaning of nerd can encapsulate both geeks AND "nerds" - here, a nerd is simply someone who displays a lack of social skills and an interest in subjects (cultural or academic) whose fanbase is traditionally associated with individuals heavily into academics. That is to say, we have Nerds General - a catchall term that includes geeks, nerds, dweebs, dorks, spazs, creepers, and poindexters - and Nerds Proper - smart-ass kids with smart-ass interests.

Consider nerdcore music; all nerdcore artists are obsessed with fan culture to some degree, yet only a few actually produce material of an academically-enriching nature. Consider "Revenge of the Nerds", wherein the two main hero nerds were academically-oriented Nerds Proper, but many of the minor nerds (Booger and Lamar, for example) were not.

All "nerds" are nerds, but not all nerds are "nerds".

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-20
Also Star Wars is kind of mainstream now. It's like showing a preview for....Christ, what are football people into? Rapes? It's like showing a trailer for a series of mass rapes and saying "Comfort food for football nerds!"

cognitivedissonance - 2015-10-20
"Dork" is for people who know the difference between "geek" and "nerd" respectively.

Xenocide - 2015-10-20
When does Spock show up.
That guy - 2015-10-20
Second act. He shows up with a fresh crate of laser swords.

BHWW - 2015-10-20
TIL that JJ Abrams has ENTIRELY ERASED Kara Starbuck from the Star Wars Universe. Yay Patriarchy.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-21
the whole movie is just a closeup of his face

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-10-20
Luke Skywalker with tits, Darth Vader with a snout, and black stormtroopers. This is gonna be EPIC! But wait: where I have seen this movie before...
infinite zest - 2015-10-20
OY gevalt!

memedumpster - 2015-10-20
The Wiz?

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-10-20
The kids are going to love this.

Nobody cares what you whiny grandpa nerds think about Star Wars anymore.
TeenerTot - 2015-10-20
I don't care what you all think. I'm going to see this because I'm excited to see Han Solo again.
That guy - 2015-10-20
*
memedumpster - 2015-10-20
💗💗💗💗💗

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-10-20
Five stars for the all the racist/sexist/anti-semitic butthurt in the Youtube comments.

The trailer was alright too I guess.
Hugo Gorilla - 2015-10-20
That one stormtrooper looked like Boba Fett.
1394 - 2015-10-20
I will go see the star wars.
infinite zest - 2015-10-20
Game of StarWarses
Scrimmjob - 2015-10-20
Ah boy, I'm just so tired of all these Star Wars.
Two Jar Slave - 2015-10-21
How do you feel about getting out of Africa?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-10-21
The prequels were a terrible idea from the getgo. I've said this before, and maybe I said it here. The origin story is the most boring and predictable part of every comic book movie, and the prequels were one long origin story. The prequels were meant to set up movies that had worked wonderfully for 25 years without a setup. There was no way that was going to work. If I remember correctly, they spent WAY more time explaining where Boba Fett came from in "Attack of the Clones" than Boba spent being his badass self in "The Empire Strikes Back", and all the backstory didn't make him any cooler. Maybe 25 years from now, some kid who hasn't been born yet will watch the episodes in order, and it will work for him or her just as George Lucas intended, but for the current fans, 1-3 was straitjacketed by the requirements of 4-6.

Without these constraints, Iím actually optimistic about the sequels. It would be great to see STAR WARS on the big screen, popping and soaring like 1977 all over again, making you feel as young as you were when you first saw "A New Hope".It would be amazing, but it probably won't be THAT good. I'd settle for better than the prequels. I'm sure Abrams can do that.
Bort - 2015-10-21
"I've said this before, and maybe I said it here. The origin story is the most boring and predictable part of every comic book movie"

Depends what you do with the origin. You're right that a movie can dwell on an origin too long, but a well-told origin establishes why you should get on the hero's side, and why he is committed enough to his mission to put his life at risk for free. That's a problem you don't have with, say, John McClane: you can sketch out that he's a cop caught in a situation not of his own making and do the exposition as you go along, but for a character who stitches together a unitard to fight crime, extra steps are needed.

I'm probably the only person anywhere who thinks the best part of the Christopher Reeve Superman movie was the scene right before Pa Kent died. Clark was chafing at how he's got all this power and it's not fair that he can't use his gifts the way everyone else is allowed to use theirs; Pa was kind and sympathetic, and told him that, with all that power, he's meant to do more important things than score touchdowns. It set the tone for who Clark is (or would become in a couple years anyway) and, I feel, the movie hinged upon that moment.

Contrast with more recent takes on Superman, where Pa Kent would be willing to let people die to preserve Clark's secret, and Clark uses his powers like a bully (albeit in secret). Not at all a good look for Superman; it's such a bad look, in fact, that it necessitated a sequel where Batman has to stop him.

As far as "Star Wars" goes, was "Star Wars" itself (or "A New Hope" as the lumpenproletariat call it) not the origin story of Luke Skywalker?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-10-21
The prequels could've been good if they focused on the catastrophic string of events that lead to the rise of the Empire instead of a character piece with no characters.

On paper, you could sell the story as analogous to the War in Heaven: yeah, we know Lucifer is going to lose, but holy shit that would be a badass thing to film. Instead, we got a pedantic, 70-page essay about how Lucifer is actually Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzer, the war in Heaven isn't really in the Bible, and everyone is sitting on couches and yelling at windows.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-10-22
Regarding the Christopher Reeves Superman, I submit that most people would agree that the second movie is better than the first, and a big factor in that is no fucking origin story.

You already know about Kal-El being launched from Krypton when he was a baby, but with every reboot we have to see it all again because maybe someone in India doesn't know it. But since 99 per cent already know it, it has to be pumped up to make it interesting, and it usually sucks. In 1979, that meant Marlon Brando, making a speech over his infant son that evoked Don Corleone over the corpse of Sonny (Is it coincidence that Mario Puzo worked on the screenplay?) In 2013, it meant a whole lot of nonsense with Jor-El flying around on a dragon and performing crazy acrobatics. That was the star wars prequels. A whole lot of details added to a story you already knew, and it just drew it out. For three whole fucking movies.

Jesus Christ, Darth Vader as a little boy? Who the fuck needed to see Darth Vader as a little boy? Not to mention fucking Boba Fett as a boy. WHAT?

I'm not crazy into Star Wars the way some people are, but they were good movies that I enjoyed when I was young. I'm not as upset as some people are, and also the effects were at a level where they qualify as an art form on but... it was such an incredibly bad idea! I figure Lucas came up with the first trilogy around 78, when he was high, and 25 years later, he felt he was committed.

Somebody sent me an elaborate nasty tweet because I criticized the prequels. I wasn't offended; I was glad that somebody liked them. Seriously, if you watch the films in order, it might make a lot more sense. But most people who will watch the films in order haven't been born yet.

EvilHomer - 2015-10-22
EWWWWWWWW gross! JHM is in love with Star Wars now! Clearly, he wants to have sex with the Star Wars film franchise.

I bet he'll deny it, too.

RedRust - 2015-10-21
Rylo Ken is probably Luke Skywalker.
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