The Biodread Empire has ushered in a golden age of peace, prosperity, and conquest of the universe. You have all enjoyed a new level of living as Titans of the earth in your new and immortal self-regenerating metalloid bodies. There is no corner of the cosmos denied to you as a perfect citizen of the new order. Now, meet the latest in godlike transcendental living towards a universe of perfection : the Biobidet. Have one integrated into your DNA matrix today, and stand tall in the sun for a clean future of Biodread perfection.
Finally tried one while in Japan - I don't think I'd buy one, but if my next place already had one I'd certainly use it. They don't seem to work miracles (unless my "getting my butt waterblasted" skills need improving) but they are nice as a quick finish to remove dregs.
One of my roommates got used to using a bidet when he was in the sandbox, only it was less a bidet and more a cheap plastic tube that connected to the tub faucet.
i named it butt-pipe, and it scared the hell out of me.