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Desc:Somebody get me a bucket.... edited by Vic Berger
Category:Religious, Crime
Tags:Televangelist, Everything is Terrible, buckets, Jim Bakker, Vic Berger
Submitted:Spit Spingola
Date:11/19/15
Views:1191
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Comment count is 27
atheistgirl
And now I'm not hungry.
Hugo Gorilla
If there's a God or any sort of cosmically dispensed justice, Jim Bakker will die drowning in a flood of cheesy broccoli slurry.

Maybe he'll be on tour at the plant that pumps out that gunk, along with his new vapid wife and his cronies that prop up his farce, and a holding tank ruptures and washing them all away to Hell.
SolRo
Doesn't have to be that complex.

Maybe there will be an accident while they mix a dump truck full of scalding hot mac n cheese in front of a live audience.

Cena_mark
Ew... He's using his latrine shovel to stir food. Well the world didn't end again. I hope these folks enjoy those food buckets.
infinite zest
Ya know, a latrine shovel actually isn't such a bad idea for stirring large pots, as long as it wasn't already used.. I'll think about this if I ever decide to make a large amount of Sangria in my big storage bin again. Praise Jesus and the others!

animegurl1000
"Now I have made 44 gallons! What if you have to survive for two years or even three years?"

Wait, so these buckets are meant to last two to three years... AFTER they've been opened?
infinite zest
Yeah I asked that before in a different Bucket video.. for now you can keep 'em in your fridge (not mine unless I took out at least two of the shelves) but I think the plan is to keep 'em in your emergency apocalypse bunker for storage and not eat right away. And although there's a seal on those things, it's not air-tight. I remember getting in trouble for not putting in our restaurant's signature Thai Sauce bucket back in the fridge overnight when I was a dishwasher (technically it wasn't my job but I was careless) and they threw it out. And there was nothing meat or dairy in there.

A bucket like that creates a seal but by no means is it airtight, so bacteria that can cause food poisoning or worse can easily get in, in probably about 2 hours. A smart future Vault Boy such as myself would just line his shelter with cans and cans and more cans of various colors of beans and plenty of Trappy's hot sauce. At least you can kind of make a chili that way

SolRo
These shady companies are going to face so many lawsuits when the apocalypse hits and all the preppers discover their bucket food has gone bad.

infinite zest
Funny, I was curious so I checked out his website and this was the front page headline:

http://tinyurl.com/p7xrgyd

After The Burn I think I could make a lot of money as a Lawyer representing those who bought the soup. I wonder if I'd need to pass the Bar for that. Fuckit I'm going to the Bar, not passing it. :(

infinite zest
Also, wow.

http://jimbakkershow.com/lovegifts/time-of-trouble-italiano-ma rinara.html

This is as much fun as I've had since the Wolf Urine days.

SolRo
if it wasn't so horribly overpriced it might make a good food...thing...for feeding lots of people in disaster areas.

infinite zest
Yeah.. according to Wikipedia though he still owes about 6 million bucks to the IRS; WWJD here doesn't mean what you think.

infinite zest
Speaking of Bacteria, Chipotle's back in the news for e. coli again and is headed to a state near you!

TheOtherCapnS
It's all dehydrated food. You add water to what you need when you want to cook it. It could indeed keep a year after you broke the seal, as long as you kept the lid on and kept it very dry.

That's what's so silly about this whole thing: the premise that food is going to be scarce, but there will be plenty of clean water.

Cena_mark
This video appears right above Adrian Gee, it's quite clear that Bakker is by far the bigger piece of shit.
kingarthur
This is amazing.
kingarthur
Also during the aftermath of Katrina, nobody I recall was being fed any kind of substance like this. It was all MREs. MREs for days. And they came with little bottles of hot sauce because they tasted so awful.
HarrietTubmanPI
Pretty much this. I got by on bread and cans of spam for a week. I felt like that scene in Dawn of the Dead:

Francine Parker: Spam!
Roger: You bring a can opener?
Francine Parker: No, I guess I didn't
Roger: Then don't knock it, it's got it's own key.

infinite zest
I think I'd take MREs over bucket soup, but that's just me. Then again, I miss the taste of spam and toast because that's all my grandma really knew how to make.

infinite zest
What's funny is when I can, I volunteer at what's commonly known as a "soup kitchen" at a local Episcopal Church, but we glean our food from James Beard Award winning restaurants throughout town. It's the hardest I've ever worked in a kitchen, because it's usually 5 or 6 of us in back and 3 or 4 servers, serving 500+ people in 2 hours. So there is good in the world, whether you believe in God or not (I don't) but I like the feeling of cooking up food that at the restaurants we glean from would go for at least a plate and seconds are always offered Bort.

infinite zest
Whoops! Sorry Bort! Sometimes my computer cuts and pastes things at random, and I compulsively highlight and copy things for no good reason. But everybody's welcome anyway. :)

chumbucket
God Bless EIT
Sudan no1
Edited one of my old submissions, "Vic Berger" is linked now.
Stopheles
4:34 - he emphasizes the word "RICE!!" like he's invoking the name of a savior.
Tripitaka
If there is a Hell, I hope whichever circle Jim Bakker get sent to consists of him slowly sinking into and being suffocated by a large bubbling bucket of cheesey slop.
TheOtherCapnS
The thing I really hate about his food bucket shit: This is the kind of food that would be perfect for disaster relief or feeding impoverished people in remote areas. Instead it will sit in the basements of fat white Christians, waiting for a tribulation that is never going to fucking happen. Even if you believe there are going to be world-wide famines in the coming decades, it isn't going to mean fucking shit to Americans. Life will get a little shittier maybe, prices will go up, but everything will continue like normal for the USA. Yay, hegemony!
casualcollapse
Remind me of Tim and Eric
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