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Desc:A series of events in my hometown, currently plagued by a green-rush-related crimewave.
Category:Crime, Nature & Places
Tags:california, crimewave, Eureka, Nomadic Fanatic
Submitted:William Burns
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Comment count is 22
he should travel with someone else besides a cat
I've actually slept there in my car once, and I can confirm Eureka is a hole.

Is it just me, or does this guy give off a heavy eunuch vibe?

ps http://lostcoastoutpost.com/2015/nov/1/chp-officer-shot-eureka/
Rodents of Unusual Size
I get bottom bear vibes.

Yeah. You read that right.

The Mothership
The one time I've been through Eureka I stopped at the Starbucks on the main drag. The bathroom floor was covered in blood; not like a murder scene, but probably somebody who tried to clean a serious wound. When I told the people working there they were only mildly surprised.
probably someone was out of tampons

infinite zest
Eww.. the weirdest bathroom experience I had was in Gary Indiana at a gas station. There was a condom filled with poop in the urinal. Explain that one!

I was in Eureka when I was like 10 years old and I thought it was really nice. I guess it's gone down the methhole since then or I was just too innocent to notice.

The Mothership
baleen, the entire State of Jefferson and most of Oregon outside of Portland has gone down the meth-hole over the last 20 years.

infinite zest
Portland's in a weird spot right now. Meth's still a huge problem here, especially where I live, but society's torn between tearing down the "historic" meth and crackhouses to build condos and the people who are buying them, who then complain that the city's not cool like it used to be. I give it two more years before we all move to Detroit.

The Mothership
everybody's already moving to Vancouver. Speaking of which, I'll be in town for Christmas. I declare POECon 2015, at the BrickHouse in Vancouver, WA, date and time TBA, but sometime between Christmas & New years. Who's fucking down?

Portland is turning in Seattle, which has turned into San Francisco.
It sucks.


infinite zest
Hehe.. I'd be down. I'd personally vote for Ground Control in Portland though since the last one was at the barcade in Tacoma.. but seriously last time I went there they wouldn't let me in because I had a backpack with nothing in it except for the stuff I needed for work, like adult diapers and medical gloves. They used to let me leave my bike in there :(

The Yamhill's #3, but that's also just close to my place so I'm just being lazy now. Maybe Brickhouse and Chopsticks#3?

infinite zest
The worst atrocity was biking home from work and noticing the work they're doing on what I believe was the only inner-city Goat pasture in North America, maybe the world for all I know.. the Goats got evicted and moved, but now they're naming the fucking condos The Goat Blocks. Co-op our hipster culture and our bullshit music scene all you want, but when you fuck with and co-op the Goats it's goddamn personal.

Sounds like this guy should stop editing video.
as a half-native of mendocino county i have a resentment against this guy.

step one for having a fun experience in the green triangle: stay the fuck away from eureka, stay the fuck away from santa rosa.

this bears truth regardless of whether or not its harvest season.

townies of larger cities of the north (no offense mr. burns) are generally to be avoided. smaller towns (elk, happy camp, hopland, willits, &c. &c.) have on the whole wonderful citizens who are polite to tourists. so what if they like a stabbing or two on saturday night?

on another note, this is one of the main issues as i see it with legalization of cannabis. all my friends up there have seen wholesale kilo prices drop precipitously over the last ten years, with the added hassle of cartel involvement and secondary and tertiary crime waves during harvest. legalization might make sense to the average user, but black market cannabis has kept norcal alive for decades and cutting wholesale prices on a cash crop serves nobody but city folks and the government.
Rodents of Unusual Size
But if you want a truly surreal experience, try passing through Graton or Rio Nido sometime. The river rats that populate that area are in their own little universe most of the time. And by that I mean meth.

A lot of meth.

hahaha yeah i mean they're all tweaked out, no doubt about it. it's a nice break from the tweakers in venice, though \_(ツ)_/

My parents live in Cazadero, and apparently the town is run by two families, one of whom is the Parmeters and they run the logging operations. They all live on the hilltops on estates, and it's said that they consolidate their power through intermarriage and incest.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
A friend of mine owns a small plane and once he took me up to Shelter Cove for the afternoon. Pretty cool airport out on the ocean but there's no godamn cell service there.

But anyway as we were loading up I noticed he loaded a handgun into the cockpit. I asked if it was for bears in case we crash landed or pulled the chute, and he replied it was for defense from meth heads and pot farmers.
infinite zest
I used to live with a guy whose parents owned a pot farm somewhere around there. When he ran out of money he'd just go and live with his parents and trim. And I know a lot of people who have done it, more recently since it's irrelevant in Oregon and Washington. Anyway I know every pot farm's different, but I met the parents once and they're your quintessential hippie era farmers. Dad had long wavy grey hair, driving up in a Porche 911 and wearing checkered Vans.. it was one of the less awkward encounters with strangers I've ever had, since roommate who they were there to pick up was nowhere so I had to play host for a few hours. He was like "holy shit you have Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure on VHS?" and started going off on how Beta was always better than VHS, just shooting the shit until the son finally got home, having semi come down from an acid trip in which he passed out on somebody's front lawn and wound up in the overnight drunk tank. I'm not sure what my dad would say (he's pretty cool) but I reckon he'd be a little pissed.. dude's dad was just like "let's get goin' son, I'll pick up some vitamin C tabs on the way."

What a wuss.
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