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Desc:They believe Coltrane's music was divinely inspired and that listening to it is a form of worship.
Category:Religious, Arts
Tags:John Coltrane, San Francisco, better religions, Coltrane, African orthodox
Submitted:kingarthur
Date:12/21/15
Views:630
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Comment count is 27
misterbuns
Agree.
That guy
semi-demi dupe?

There's a satirical joke here that combines how stupid religion is with crazy amounts of ethnic pride from a group that no one's allowed to question.

Anyway, I'll draw the line when they build a cathedral to Jacko.
kingarthur
I wanted to have them on my little college radio show waaaaay back in the day (The AOC of John Coltrane, not Jacko) and they wanted all kinds of approval of the promotional material for the interview, the time slot, what kind of show it was, questions, etc. And I was like "Lady, we're just a couple of kids who just think your whole gag is cool." Ultimately, the interview didn't happen and I got Max Cannon of the Red Meat comics instead.

Cena_mark
Jazz sucks. The only good jazz records have done is being sampled for hip hop songs.
betabox
You're wrong, but at least you're consistent.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
Well its subjective..
Try listening to some Herbie Hancock.

Fat albert rotunda
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C6Km74cwgY

Headhunters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m3qOD-hhrQ

Cena_mark
I've listened to head hunters, it's okay.

EvilHomer
Cena on point! Dropping science and preaching the truth.

The real question is, what sucks worse? Jazz music, or jazz fans?

Cena_mark
Definately the fans, since they try to act like they're somehow better music fans than everyone else.

EvilHomer
Yeah, I'd say the fans are worse too. Jazz music is just dumb-sounding music that's fun for musicians to play; as bad as it sucks, there's nothing outright reprehensible about it! It's mostly harmless, like practicing scales, or doing a microphone check before a hip-hop show.

The real problems start when jazz fans show up, the sort of people who can't keep things in perspective, and think that a bunch of notes played sloppily on purpose somehow makes for "smarter" music and "smarter" fans. The sort of people who'll unironically start a church, an honest to God church, dedicated to a dude who made like one decent album before turning into a junkie.

Hell, John Coltrane himself wasn't happy with his music. He was highly critical of his work output; HE knew he sucked. These 'Church of John Coltrane" jokers, they're basically calling John Coltrane a liar, saying they know more about John Coltrane than John Coltrane himself.

Cena_mark
Free jazz is by far the worst. You hit the nail on the head right there. I worked in a warehouse with a bunch of musicians who loved it. The Public radio station would play free jazz in the morning, and they'd gush over the technique being exhibited while it sounded like random shit being played on a sax with a broken reed.

EvilHomer
"Free jazz" is basically musician-slang for "I'll suck on purpose, and the rest of you pretend to 'get it' so we'll all look smart".

Pro-tip: if you're ever rapping and you forget your lyrics, just shout "FREE JAZZ" and start pulling random bullshit out of your ass! As long as you can do it with conviction, then no matter what you do, jazzfags will pretend to understand it.

Cena_mark
The Jazz dweebs haven't replied. They know we're right.

EvilHomer
Of course they do. Deep down inside, all jazz fans know it's bullshit.

It's a truth that gnaws away at their very souls, and makes them increasingly more irritable and irrational as they age.

That guy
I couldn't be more pleased that you two mouth-breathing philistines hate jazz, or use dumb excuses, like "free jazz sucks therefore.....". I generally don't like to exclude, but you two are just perfect for hating it.

Maybe you can get jimmyboblahey and BENNR and Waugh on board with you?

shithead bronies

Cena_mark
Anything composed for MLP is better than jazz. Rather than insulting us, why not explain what makes jazz so good.

That guy
Right, because you're on the verge of changing your mind?

Cena_mark
Totally on the verge. My mind might be changed if you write a huge text block on the merits of jazz music. I acknowledge the importance of jazz in America's musical heritage, and a lot of hip hop artists like it, so it can't be all that bad. I like some Paul Whiteman, he was truly the King of Jazz.

That guy
Hah, ok, I'll write a huge text block on the merits of jazz music.
Time is of the essence!

It's not like you could look up a number of respected albums and listen to a track or two from each, right?
You need my help.

EvilHomer
See? When pressed into a corner, the wild jazz-fan cannot cite even a single decent jazz album.

EvilHomer
Cena - an insightful essay on the merits of jazz can be heard here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_SG2sWIdaQ

That guy
hah
fail EH is fail

Spaceman Africa
i like jazz

kingarthur
Not a jazz fan at all myself. I just think this is an interesting religious quirk.

EvilHomer
I'm hearing some passive-aggressive trolling, That guy, but I'm not hearing any reasons why Cena should like jazz.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Ella Fucking Fitzgerald.

Duke Fucking Ellington.

Louis Fucking Armstrong.
EvilHomer
I hope they used condoms.

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