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Desc:Project Mayhem ongoing
Category:News & Politics, Crime
Tags:christmas, PS4, Dick Pic, wooden block, project mayhem
Submitted:tesla_weapon
Date:12/29/15
Views:1157
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Comment count is 45
infinite zest
Sorry, but if you still want your kid to believe in things like Santa Claus, should you be letting them play a game like Uncharted? I haven't played it but it's not exactly like getting a 64 with Super Mario..

Also is it that easy to pull this kind of thing with electronics? Over Halloween I had to deal with a mostly empty Goku costume that was pretty much taken out of the box in the dressing room before it was sold to my client, but that's pretty easy if you know what you're doing, like you were in the dressing room at Hot Topic and decided you didn't want it. Where do you go with an item of this size that already has testing stations with other working PS4s and security guards monitoring the restrooms, and ostensibly get out of the store with the original item? I feel bad for the kid's Christmas being ruined (for a day) but I sort of really admire the thieves here for thinking all of this through.
kingarthur
You have an accomplice working the returns counter.

tesla_weapon
Yeah, because the 14yr old acne ridden nerd working at Target earning an hour is particularly savvy when it comes to creative store thefts.

tesla_weapon
I'm wondering why they didn't paint the block black? Or white? There's no wood decal option?

infinite zest
Tesla you're right, if I worked at a Target I wouldn't give a shit but last time I was shopping I was at Ross and the pair of socks I was looking at was just as valuable to the loss preventions guys as a PS4 would be

kingarthur
Your average minimum wage Target worker is not a 14 year old kid. The economy is in the shitter. People come up with creative ways to rob stores all the time.

tesla_weapon
I'm sure Target have new SOP's for returns, and that temporary cameras in the electronic department have been installed. Thieves will think of something else to passively steal PS4's. Also I have never been into a Target in the US of A and assumed it was similar to our Targets.

RedRust
I worked at Target electronics before. The policy is even exchange, or return if unopened with receipt.

tesla_weapon
How come we are debating the returns policy of Target, instead of the beautiful life this child will live with consumerism. The materialistic philosophy is dead to this child. Santa taught him there are more valuable things in life than worldly possessions. Like love. From cock and balls with love.

tesla_weapon
*without

ZackKnight
What the shit. Yeah, the kid's okay to play these kinds of games, but you gotta go to extreme lengths to maintain a belief in Santa.

A great thought. Wouldn't this be an easy way to steal a PS4? Make a block of wood and write something profane on it, call the news, and claim it totally ruined Christmas. Get a free one and sell it. Profit.
Hooker
If you're going to do the phone the media / orchestrate a scam, I'd wait until the kid graduates high school and claim [insert local University] denied him because he was gay (it doesn't matter if he's actually gay). If you orchestrate it well enough, you could probably get a free ride through University (and someone fired for something they didn't do).

Tough American Bouncer
Wouldn't it be easier just to have your kid just to take some kind of dissembled bomb looking device to school and then disrupting things using it until he/she gets into trouble?

This route could bag you free collage to your kid, visit to the president and money from a lawsuit against the school. Granted, if you want to collect all the bonuses, you and your kid have to belong to some specific minority groups.

Old_Zircon
You people are really over thinking this.


All you need is a big enough balloon.

infinite zest
But something happened and POE demands the facts!

Simillion
Bonus raccoon and random scream near the end.
infinite zest
Santa will not tolerate that. Poor guy. :(

infinite zest
The Raccoon that is.

animegurl1000
Similar thing happened to me when I bought a coffee maker a few years back. I thought it was new because the box didn't look like it was ever opened, but whoever bought it before me took out the new coffee maker and put in their old, broken one and immediately returned it. When I brought it home I found an obviously worn out machine that smelled like stale grounds and spoiled creamer, and had a nice golden-yellow nicotine coating on the lighter-colored parts. I was simultaneously pissed off and amused.

I bought it from Target, too.
ashtar.
rogue elf

Spit Spingola
Yeah, I've worked in retail. This happens all the time. I had a customer try to return a Nintendo DS and when I opened the box and found a smashed DS that was the wrong color and serial number he basically turned pale and left. They don't pay you shit in retail and a lot of the time people just take the returns without checking and stick the item back on the shelf.

infinite zest
There were a few times when I was a kid where mom wouldn't let me get a candy bar so I'd just smoosh it in the package and put it back on the shelf.. so in a way this is basically that but way more interesting: smooshing or breaking something is pretty easy in a store, no doubt, but replacing it with something else.. I also remember when I was a kid there was a scare about cyanide being injected into soda pop bottles. I hate to say it, but whoever that was and myself probably used the same tactics to complete our missions, but I guess we were covert about it.. :(

boner
I apparently know a kid who pretends to believe because he thinks the XBox gravy train will dry up if he lets on.
boner
so either he's stupid for his age or neurotic for his age.

EvilHomer
Wise for his age. The science may not be settled, but the stakes are so high, he needs to err on the side of caution.

The Mothership
Fouuur. Evaaah.
Scrimmjob
They blur it out in the picture, but someone drew a cock and balls on the block of wood as well.
tesla_weapon
I hope it had a smiley face on the cock. Tyler Durden would have put a smiley face.

Bort
Somewhere in Amish country there's a kid with a Playstation who really wanted a black of wood.
Hooker
With a picture of a penis that says "with love" beside it.

Bort
... did I really say "black" of wood? Goddammit. Supposed to be "block", obviously.

And yes, the Amish kid in question wanted the drawing of a dong. Amish gay porn involves a lot of hand-drawn material.

EvilHomer
I normally can't stand it when mainstream media tries to pass off advertising as news, but this was pretty funny.
M-DEEM
Back in my day you had to put in a little work to find the dildo
gravelstudios
Oh, I thought this was one of those "I gave my kid a Playstation box with rocks in it because they were bad all year to teach them a lesson" kind of things. OK, well, I'm glad that worked out for them in the end.
TeenerTot
The kid is nine. It may be time to let the Santa thing go.
Binro the Heretic
Odds are good it was an inside job. Our loss prevention department once caught an employee swapping out plastic sandwich bags with sand in them for small electronics then re-sealing the packages. He would then sell the items on eBay. He obviously had experience with this sort of thing because he knew a few different tricks to get packages open without it looking like they had been tampered with.

Without going into actual details beyond telling us he either used extremes of temperature to undo certain adhesives or knew where to cut a box so it could be re-sealed without showing the damage, they told us a few things to look for that would indicate a box had been tampered with.

They mostly told us to look for suspicious behavior, though. If someone seems to be off the floor for long periods of time, that's a giveaway. Also, if they re-stock the shelves when there's already a lot of merchandise on the shelf and remove all that merchandise so they can put the stuff they just brought out all the way to the back, that's a big indicator. It was this behavior caught on the CCTV that ultimately did him in.

So I'm guessing either a Target employee or someone at the distribution center managed to sneak one of the boxes away from the security cameras and make the switch.
infinite zest
Hate to be devils advocate here, but why wouldn't you just swap it out at home after you bought it, sell it on CL as new and then put the wood in the box in and go back and complain? Makes more sense to me than someone potentially terminating their fast food wage job and going to prison and stuff just for a prank..

infinite zest
oops.. what ZackKnight said.

Binro the Heretic
I work at a military exchange. All transactions are tied to military ID or civilian contractor ID. Even if you return merchandise and say you lost the receipt, your ID is still tied to the transaction.

I think this guy planned to be gone before his little scheme got rumbled, but didn't get out soon enough.

In the years I've worked there, we've had some losses to shoplifters, but the biggest losses are from inside theft. We've had fairly senior managers busted for slipping merchandise out the back door. One of them stole furniture & appliances to furnish a couple of his rental properties. One was stealing high-end handbags & clothing and selling them on eBay. They got away with it literally for years before being caught.

Jaguar Wong
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infinite zest
Don't they have barns with farmers' wives and daughters in them too and holes you can stick your dick into? Or am I thinking of France?
infinite zest
oops this was a reply to Bort. But nevertheless I've heard of a place in France. :)

Rodents of Unusual Size
(inappropriate Homer Simpson laughter)
Bus_Aint_Comin
pee-ess FOAH
infinite zest
Yeah at least things used to be fun to say, like Jaguar 64 or Nintendo 64, 32X etc.. now we're back down to Fours and Ones.

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