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Category:Classic Movies, Military
Tags:Top Gun, Tom Cruise, beefcake, kenny loggins, not gay
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:12/29/15
Views:1229
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Comment count is 43
SolRo - 2015-12-29
super not gay
Savage_Henry - 2015-12-29
This reminds me, I need to go buy some coconut oil.
fedex - 2015-12-29
1:00
tesla_weapon - 2015-12-29
The rigger was busy lowering the net for Tom every time they needed a spike shot.
Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
Tom Cruise has had an amazing career despite his height. I don't see why haters always bring it up.

gravelstudios - 2015-12-29
A) Tom Cruise is a very good actor.
B) He's really not that short, all things considered.
C) If you're gonna make fun of him, there are more worthy traits than his height.

boner - 2015-12-29
Tom Cruise is a superhuman who hasn't visibly aged in 30 years. (He's older than Jimmy Stewart was in VERTIGO) Any joke I make about him is out of jealousy

fedex - 2015-12-29
Tom Cruise is a Scientologist.


Top that.

Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
Hey come on Fedex. That's a low blow. You wouldn't make fun of someone for being a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, etc, so why pick on the Scientologists?

infinite zest - 2015-12-29
I've been on both sides of Scientology. In fact the first job I was interviewed for after I got laid off was as a receptionist for the big Scientology Church in Portland. When I told my parents they pretty much threatened to disown me if I took the position I was offered. I love them, but they're fucking Episcopalians for christ sake; in fact on Christmas the homily was about how all our religions are descended from Abraham, and just skipped around the whole extortion and child killing stuff because Sonic Sez, just to say that we're all the same. Scientology is fucked up like any religion, but it doesn't really get beyond the extortion part, which is also called running a business.

That guy - 2015-12-30
lol IZ how's that Vitamin K?

Use brain for thinking, not keyboard.

fedex - 2015-12-30
"You wouldn't make fun of someone for being a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, etc, so why pick on the Scientologists?"


You serious? Of course I would!

Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
This reminds me of TSTA in Mayport, where there wasn't much to do after the work day other than chill at the E-club and play vollyball.
TeenerTot - 2015-12-29
Did you also get to engage in subtextual bromances?

Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
As long as it remains subtextual. Don't ask don't tell may be gone, but relationships with shipmates is a big no no.

Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
Not that I engaged in bromances. Just saying times have changed.

EvilHomer - 2015-12-30
You're never supposed to fraternize with people you work with, anyways. That goes triple for people you're locked on a ship with and potentially need to rely upon to save your life.

I hope someone filed an EO complaint on Goose and Maverick, maybe got them brought up on UCMJ charges, because their fraternization bullshit was clearly having a negative effect on unit cohesion.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2015-12-29
Should've saved the ascii penis for this one.
infinite zest - 2015-12-29
Good things always come more than once :)

infinite zest - 2015-12-29
I know I've seen Top Gun but I don't remember this scene at all. Also what's up with his dogtag? I wear one and whenever it's on backwards it's incredibly uncomfortable. I never served or anything (mine's just an old tag I found in Hokkaido Japan); is it a military thing like turning your tag around is a big fuck you to your superiors or something?
Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
I don't know anything about that. Granted I've never been issued dog tags. I think he just doesn't want them flopping in his face when he jumps. He should just take them off like Cena does before his matches.

ZackKnight - 2015-12-29
Come to think of it, I don't remember this scene either. Weird.

boner - 2015-12-29
I havent' seen Top Gun and this is the only scene I know about.

Cena_mark - 2015-12-29
I've never seen the entire film either. Everything I know about it is from a few clips and parodies.

infinite zest - 2015-12-29
Mine pulls on my throat when it's backwards, but yeah it would keep it from hitting you in the face in a game of volleyball. I just find it interesting that Maverick is the only one who does it.

infinite zest - 2015-12-29
Then again putting on an aviator jacket after a sweaty game of shirtless volleyball in the heat is also not the best idea either. He's gonna stink worse than Slider!

Old_Zircon - 2015-12-30
I didn't remember it either, maybe it's one of those scenes that was cut out for no reason for the VHS release that all of us old fucks are probably thinking of.

Incidentally, anyone (IZ maybe) know why so many movies had footage cut out when they were released on VHS? It was really common but I never hear it mentioned. Duration? I t never seemed like that was the issue.

Raggamuffin - 2015-12-30
The no-reason homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun is so I iconic I can't believe anyone who's seen the movie doesn't remember it, and yet here we are.

ZackKnight - 2015-12-30
Shit. Now I have to watch my top gun vhs tape to verify.

boner - 2015-12-30
I don't remember VHS movies having scenes cut. Not sure what you're thinking of there. I do remember the whole pan-and-scan thing, or movies that were shown open matte so you could see the boom mics.

Old_Zircon - 2015-12-30
Lots of movies have bits cut out, usually not whole scenes but often they'll lose a few seconds here or there. There are some where it's really blatant, though. The first ones I remember are the Rocky Horror Picture Show Anniversary Edition which is missing the first half of a song, and Pink Floyd The Wall which is missing some shots that appear in the stills on the back of the box (I was like 13, cut me some slack).

Then there are the more egregious ones where it was clearlydone to save duplication costs. The single-tape VHS edition of Pasolini's Arabian Nights is missing almost 20 minutes of footage to keep it on a single tape (it actually has a small print note about this on the box though) and my favorite, Wim Wenders' "Until the End of the World" which was close to 6 hours long in the theater but was cut down to 90 minutes for every video release I'm aware of (which is why it makes almost no sense).

That's just a few I can think of off the top of my head, I don't really pay a lot of attention to it but I definitely noticed it a lot when DVD was first really taking off and I rewatched a lot of stuff I'd seen on VHS first. It's usually bigger budget stuff from the 70s and 80s that got the treatment. I've definitely noticed it a few times when I saw things in the theater an then later on VHS, too, but I can't think of examples. This is the kind of stuff I was interested in back in college.

Old_Zircon - 2015-12-30
Raggamuffin, honestly this scene only seems slightly more homoerotic than the rest of the movie to me. Whole movie is pretty much like Hollywood-budget gay porn without the porn. I watched it because I just saw K2 and I was thinking it might be an even more covertly homoerotic movie than Top Gun, so I rewatched Top Gun and it's a pretty even contest.




Figures the kid I knew in middle school who was really in to Top Gun grew up to the the biggest closet case I've ever met.

Raggamuffin - 2015-12-30
Oh for sure, the whole movie is like this. Bathing in man-love.

Nothing beats Nightmare on Elm Street 2 as far as covert homoeroticism for my money.

The Mothership - 2015-12-29
MOTHER GOOSE YOU PUSSY! is a great line.
That guy - 2015-12-30
*****
OZ, I love how this scene defies Desc:
My stars should have gone here.
Old_Zircon - 2015-12-30
I didn't even think of that until you pointed it out, but it's true.

duck&cover - 2015-12-30
Man-titties.
Two Jar Slave - 2015-12-30
Poor Goose took one look at these hunks and decided to leave his shirt on. Been there, Goose. Been there.
Binro the Heretic - 2015-12-30
I had to watch this fucking movie so many times back in the 1980s.

See, kids, back then there were these clunky old machines that played recorded movies on bulky magnetic tape cassettes. They were powered by massive steam boilers and we had to employ orphans to keep shoveling coal into the fires that heated the water.

On Friday nights, my friends & I used to go to establishments where you could rent these tapes of an evening for viewing at home. Unfortunately, the newest releases were often all rented out when we got there. Such is the limitation of physical media. So if we couldn't find newer releases, we would each lobby for old personal favorites.

Because we always let the girls choose the movie because otherwise they wouldn't hang out with us, I got to see "Top Gun", "Dirty Dancing", "The Breakfast Club", "Sixteen Candles", "Footloose" and "Less Than Zero" too many fucking times to count.
Two Jar Slave - 2015-12-30
But did it pay off, base-wise?

Binro the Heretic - 2015-12-30
No, God damn it.

I actually got further indirectly through "Labyrinth". A girl in my art class became obsessed with David Bowie after seeing it and, lucky for me, I had a bunch of Bowie on vinyl I had scrounged from used record shops & flea markets.

chumbucket - 2015-12-31
At the local family summer party I went to every year in my teens they'd break out 3-4 volleyball nets and everyone (kids, moms, old folks) would play until dark. I always pulled a gag where I'd check my watch before I served. Only about 4 people got it and they were pretty drunk.
Enjoy - 2015-12-31
It was always our family/friend event growing up as well. Although, we never oiled our bodies up before playing.

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