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Desc:Number 5 is amazeballs!
Category:Science & Technology, Educational
Tags:chaplin, mormon, time travel, list, top 10
Submitted:Juice Eggs McKenna
Date:01/03/16
Views:1313
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Comment count is 24
ashtar. - 2016-01-03
And yet Hitler is still alive. Or, you know, still has always lived. Has only died the once. You know what I mean.
SolRo - 2016-01-03
Hitler has died thousands of times in thousands of different ways, but because of a series of unexpected events it always takes much longer than planned, well in to the war, to kill him.

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-03
Four alternate explanations:

1. Time travel is invented in the year 7,415 CE. At this point, Nazi Germany's atrocities are no more urgent than the atrocities of a Babylonian king are to us.

2. Time travel is invented 160 years in the future, after the Great Crash has wiped out all historical records of the 20th century.

3. Time travel is expensive. It's the privilege of a few Comcast executives and oil barons, who are less concerned with righting history's great wrongs and more concerned with systematically screwing and looting their way through past, present, and future. To me this seems like the most likely option. It's equivalent to people 120 years ago asking, "If flight becomes practical, couldn't the sun be blocked out by millions upon millions of personal aeroplanes?" Yes and no, my hypothetical friend!

4. Time travellers, for whatever reason, are sympathetic toward Hitler. But only to a point.

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-03
Oh, right.

5. Hitler was a time traveller. Most likely one of those Comcast execs.

oddeye - 2016-01-03
Hitler is alive because without him an even worse guy takes his place and time travel ends up not being invented.

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-03
oddeye, I can't buy that scenario. If you're talking about time travellers both having an interest in screwing with history and also having the ability to do it, how could a "devil you know" dilemma really pop up? These time travellers could smear events as many times as they need/want to, in order to create the outcome they want (or at least an outcome better than mothertackling Nazi Germany).

Unless the time travellers themselves are vulnerable to the changes they make? I've been assuming the time travellers are kept in a consequence-free suit of armour of some kind. But if the changes they make cause a ripple that wipes out the invention time travel itself, as you say, and also prevents them being able to correct it, then they'll have to be a lot more careful with their history-diddling.

In that case I could imagine Hitler being, not the lesser of two evils (because really), but the greater. They went back in time to stop a shitty painter's landscape style from dominating the next 150 years of aesthetics and criticism. They accidentally pushed him along a series of events that killed 60 million people. Whoops. They wish they could have their old, laughably-bad-yet-influential painter back, but they're afraid that if they tinker any more then the consequences will wipe out the invention of time travel itself. Now trapped in an alien 1938, they commit to drinking their consciences to sleep each night and watching the horror they set in motion unfold like a demented orchid planted near a gravestone next to a small abbey in the Twilight Zone.

Xenocide - 2016-01-03
You only think Hitler is bad because you're not from the timeline where we had Superhitler.

atheistgirl - 2016-01-04
Assuming time travel were possible, you couldn't go back and kill Hitler as that would be paradoxical.

That guy - 2016-01-03
Physicists HATE him. Travel through time with this one weird trick.
Jeriko-1 - 2016-01-03
Urrgh. In my dreams these people are are herded into death camps and their entire families are randomly tackled by people dressed in football gear. As they get reduced to broken piles the guys in the football gear scream their own malvertising blurbs at them.

"WE SAY GOODBYE TO BETTY WHITE!"

"DENTISTS -HATE- HIM!"

"REDNECK ACCIDENTALLY KISSES HIS SISTER. YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!"

And I'm overseeing the whole thing dressed as some demented Roman emperor casually eating pickled eggs. This is my fetish(tm)

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-03
I know it's fashionable to hate catchy headlines, and that's fine. I hate them too. But please remember that the people who write them are working hard and being paid very little to crank that shit out. You're fantasizing about murdering Walmart cashiers and their families.

This concludes my "I have worked that job plz don't tackle my aunts in a deathcamp" PSA.

SolRo - 2016-01-03
And yet we don't pity the bottom rung crack dealer

That guy - 2016-01-03
I'll tackle your aunts!

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-03
k but plz not in a deathcamp

oddeye - 2016-01-03
Tackled in a DEATHCAMP, you won't believe what happens next!!!

oddeye - 2016-01-03
New rule in leaves PoETV posters angry!

That guy - 2016-01-04
I'm assuming that through wide spacing of childbirths in your family that your aunts are 26.

Two Jar Slave - 2016-01-04
No, but they're the next best thing.

Considerably older.

mosif - 2016-01-03
I'm pretty sure #8 is just the plot of a Jack Finney short story and has no base in reality whatsoever.
Juice Eggs McKenna - 2016-01-03
A friend once mentioned half a human skeleton was found inside a limestone cliff with a fossilised wristwatch or something. Disappointed that didn't make the list.
oddeye - 2016-01-03
I've spent a long time researching time travel. My results are due to be published last week.
Redford - 2016-01-04
People didn't notice she was talking on a mobile phone until after mobile phones became commonplace! AMAZING!

Wait, I'm sure that has nothing to do with it. Time travel. Right.
dairyqueenlatifah - 2016-01-04
All of these, with one exception (number five) have either been flat out debunked, or they only seem like legit claims because the video author is leaving huge pieces of backstory out, and have also been debunked.

I must say that I have never seen/heard a debunking of Chaplin's Time Traveler though. It's been bouncing around the internet for some time now (and it's even been posted here on Poetv before if I recall correctly) but honestly it's silly that so many people who want to believe in time travel use it as evidence, as if what she's holding MUST be a cellphone. I mean, it could be anything. Maybe she's listening to the ocean through a seashell? Maybe she's scratching her itchy ear with something? Maybe it's some sort of funky clock that she thinks might be broken and she's trying to see if it's making any ticking noises or not? There's really no way to tell, and it's quite a leap from that to cellphone.

Besides, lets pretend the time travel idea is even plausible and she's a time traveler who took her cellphone along. Who in the hell would she be talking to? In a time before cell towers or any sort of network technology exist? Not to mention all the people she knows would not have been born yet in the time she's currently in. Or do cellphones from the future where time travel exist use awesome quantum-jumping signal tech that allows you to communicate with people from your own time while you're visiting another?

Or perhaps the people pushing this didn't think that far ahead.
oddeye - 2016-01-04
Time traveling cell phone user is the only explanation that makes sense. Open your fucking eyes!

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