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Desc:Yeah, pretty much
Category:Classic TV Clips, Humor
Tags:fox, lottery, powerball
Submitted:Jimmy Labatt
Date:01/10/16
Views:748
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Comment count is 20
The Mothership
Dude was waiting for that opportunity his whole life; he's already a winner.
kingarthur
He's got his priorities in order.
infinite zest
But you do the cocaine before you get the hookers!

TeenerTot
I thought you do the cocaine off the hookers' bodies.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I can't argue with his logic.
EvilHomer
So what would you guys do?

After taxes and tax-deductible charitable donations, I'd probably take at least two-thirds of the remainder and have my uncle's old firm invest it. The rest I'd utilize in a number of ways: investing it directly myself (as startup capital for projects that seem interesting to me), establishing two or three grants, and donating directly to my old school, so they could build a new art gallery and/or MMA gym in my honor. I'd probably keep at least a million for myself, with which I could purchase a modest, self-sufficient home by the sea, food, seeds, a water purification system, and maybe a nice new computer (a few years down the road).
The Mothership
Modest apartments in all the cities around the world I love to visit; 1st class airfare (or private jet); luxury watches; scholarship endowments to my numerous schools; medieval manuscript collection to donate to my alma mater as a collection upon my death; Scottish whisky distillery near my estate in the Highlands.

boner
Probably spend it all on security to protect me from kidnappers...

Rodents of Unusual Size
Form my own corporation complete with its own army and attack my enemies like I was David Xanatos.

In my spare time I would attend to my shirtless man harem.

Also help the poor blah blah blah.

Rafiki
Vote Republican

betabox
The first thing I'd do would be to go to every room in my house and turn up the heat.

Then I'd start looking for real estate someplace.

Nikon
Get my house off-grid, invest some of the money in a diversified portfolio to live off the interest, travel a bit, and get a small home in Saitama in which to live part of the year.

Xenocide
Hang around the Billionaire's Club telling stories of my adventures, until that no-good Flintheart Glomgold comes in boasting that he's heard tales of a lost valley full of treasure and he's going to get there first so he can become richer than me, and then I'm all "OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDY," and it is ON.

Also get a boat.

infinite zest
I get lonely whenever I'm living by myself so I'd probably just fill up my kitchen up with pinball machines like it was before when I was a thousandaire. I'd probably get some quality LSD too, but other than that, I'd just leave it on the street at a bus stop when it's not windy. Giving to charitable organizations is a nice thing, but more money goes to to people who work for them than the people they work for. That's natural of course, but I'd rather just conduct a social experiment in my own kinda nonprofit.

infinite zest
Then again I'm fucking freezing. I'd also pay my electric bill :(

Lef
Hookers and weed.

TeenerTot
Set aside a large chunk for a comfortable retirement, give a shitload away to animal shelters, PBS, Planned Parenthood and the like.
Also, what betabox said.

tesla_weapon
I would become a real estate mogul in my home city, and help establish as many new buildings as I could that were actually good design instead of the shit we get from the "Friends of Burnside Council". This would include residential homes, apartments, shops, bars and community stuff like sports i like, or film schools. All this shit would keep me busy like a full time job, and to unwind I would still play games and masturbate, only I would be able to pay someone to masturbate me, for me. (Might have been easier if I just said hookers).

Juice Eggs McKenna
Needs an "a real American hero" tag

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