|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Why doesn't he just lightening bolt him?
|The Mothership |
Back in the day, combat video games were real life.
|Oscar Wildcat |
Superior to marriage counseling in every way.
Trial by combat tag needs to get linked fast!
2:30-2:43 is a pretty poor display of crotch grabbing technique. Compare with the source material.
I'd like to imagine that preceding this there was a system by which the local ruler would listen to both parties and pass a fair and measured judgement. It lasted less than a year and nearly caused a mental breakdown, and him to finally yell out in exasperation "fuck this shit! just go stand in a hole and beat each other to death". His underlings did their best to implement the system as described.
Well now I understand Jörg.
|wtf japan |
Uh, how did they develop so many techniques if this was a trial to the death? Did people practice for this eventuality or something?
It sounds like this was official & legal-like. In those situations, lawyers are usually involved, even if the entire practice seems ridiculous and, well, medieval to us. Lawyers, no matter the epoch, are concerned with details and minutiae. Hell, that's practically their job.
What's more, it looks like these folks are basing their re-enactment off of a manual or treatise of some sort. And if you're going to write a treatise, you need to fill it with *something*.... and a list of "common" techniques would fit the bill. It doesn't mean the techniques were actually common, or even that this weird form of trial of combat was ever actually practiced.
tl;dr version: People in the middle ages loved to make up shit. Kinda like people nowadays, but with cooler illustrations.
Honestly, this is less ridiculous than, say, mirandizing a ten year old.
Disclaimer: Not every local SCA chapter condones wife beatings.
I want to imagine every couple in this situation not really wanting to kill each other but one person takes a swing out of petty frustration and it immediately escalates into a revenge-fueled deathmatch.
"You can just be such a harpy sometimes!"
*dude all taking a half-hearted swing and knocking his wife in the shin.*
"OW! Did you really just hit me!? Your own WIFE?!"
"YOU FUCKING BITCH, I BARELY TOUCHED YOU!"
Then it just erupts into a medieval version of Patton Oswalt's Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats bit.
At about the midway point in the clip, they cut away as the girl loses her composure and starts laughing... So you've got to figure in at least some of the cases, after about 15 minutes of whacking away at each other, they'd start to tire and the combination of exhaustion and foolishness of the situation would cause them to relent and forgive.
But apart from that: three words. Pay Per View.
|Robin Kestrel |
Get in the pit and try to love someone.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
She just went medieval on his ass.
If you can't beat the one you love, beat the one you're with.
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