I'd love to have a pet monkey. I'd train it to bite haters.

Monkeys are fucking scary. Even the little ones. Even the idea of a pet monkey gives me shivers.

"he's a 2-year-old child for the next 40 years of your life" she says, cranking out an analogy wrong enough for a pet monkey owner to appreciate



okay, i unpaused it and the word "tame" is used unironically, and now i'm sad for the day

I especially liked all the talk about freedom at the end.

Let my people go.