In a world where a substantial number of my neighbors feel American cheese is a legitimate topping, some things need to be said.

You starve.

It depends on the kind of cheese. What kind of cheese do you want in your four cheese blend?

*****

HERETIC! BLASPHEMER!

No, this is really how you make a three-cheese blend.

apparently he's saying "tucson"?

I heard "two ton."
Ehow probably thought a larger man would get more hits.

He's a Teuton chef. The cheese is the topping. The sauce is but a small portion of the blood from the men he slayed in battle.

A 2 Tone personal chef.

This is the dawning of a new pizza!

Ptus'haan personal chef. Something to do with the Elder Gods, I suspect.

You could get rid of everything on the Internet except for eHow and WikiHow and I'd still be pretty content with it.

In fact it might be an improvement.

Fun fact: When I was starving to death I wrote like a dozen articles for them back when they paid -15 a pop. They would pay freelance "editors" -15 to edit the same pieces, and the feedback they gave was often as shitty as eHow articles themselves. In order to prove they had edited my stuff, they would change random things around, making them worse or even unintelligible, and nobody would proof it, which meant my name was attached to something that looked like it was written by an illiterate.

I wrote eHow an angry letter telling them that it was embarrassing and that I wanted my name to be removed from my submissions, which they kindly did. I have no idea if my shit content is still up there. They went through a house cleaning 5-6 years ago; my lady interest at the time had written hundreds of things for them ("How to make guacamole" was one of my favorites) in order to pay her rent, but her work sucked so bad that they wrote her saying that they no longer needed her services and would be deleting a lot of her work. Having eHow tell you that your writing is bad must be quite a blow.

They truly put the cunt in content farming.

He appears to be doing that in order to get the Italian to come out when he says Italian like food things.

the two times his parents let him make dinner.