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Desc:A family reunion, of sorts
Category:Horror
Tags:Dead grandmother, american sign language
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:03/23/16
Views:939
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Comment count is 20
John Holmes Motherfucker
Remember to be positive and considerate, everyone! Okay!
baleen
She seems like a lovely lady. I like her blouse.

Um... I was on board until the end. Woah I know deaf people are pretty weird but jesus whaaaat

chumbucket
Yep! Still dead!
Bus_Aint_Comin
this has got to be in violation of some sort of law. but hey man, do you!

also does anyone else find it strange that ASL translates directly into a kind of earnest yet broken english? i would think that since it's *American* sign language it would translate into idiomatic speech.

i used to go to an AA meeting that had a sign translator, and i would always try and sit in the section she was aiming at, because her translations (i don't know ASL) were absolutely wonderful to watch.
gravelstudios
ASL is only 'American' in the sense that it isn't used in other countries. Each country has its own sign language. But ASL has its own grammar that is different from spoken English grammar.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I think of this old lady on her deathbed in 1945, before television, just after World War 2, light years from imagining a world in which her crazy great grandson would put put her corpse on YouTube.
EvilHomer
You think she imagined her grandson would be having sex with her?

Jet Bin Fever
haha, oh shit

TheyUsedDarkForces
"What do you term 'violation', first of all?" - Leilah Wendell
Jet Bin Fever
I'm kind of surprised at how well she was preserved. I'm guessing that she was quite frail when she died so there wasn't a lot of fat to aid the decomposition. That said, he's probably infusing the old bag with bacteria every time he kisses her. Not to mention the moisture in the air giving it plenty of fuel.
memedumpster
GAAAAAAHH!!!

I mean...

*waves hands in horror*
subduralhematoma
Naw. I think he's just an eccentric weirdo who built a semi-believable story around a halloween prop and now uses it to creep out neighborhood kids and people on the internet. I fully support his endeavors.
Oscar Wildcat
I could sort of believe this thing up to the point where he leans in and gives her a smooch. That's a hell of a punchline.

John Holmes Motherfucker
That hadn't even occurred to me. I still think it's real, and I'll tell you why: The casket. A corpse would be relatively easy to fake, but the casket is not only real, it shows signs of age. Where the hell does one obtain a second hand casket?

If this is real, I don't think she was buried below ground. Once you're in the ground, poor maintenance wouldn't be an issue. I think she would have been in a mausoleum, and that might have resulted in a less perfect seal. So maybe she had a chance to dry out. I'm speculating that a corpse that had been completely sealed off wouldn't be something you'd want to get your face anywhere near.

This sort of reminds me of the Shroud of Turin, which, based on carbon dating, doesn't appear to be the actual burial shroud of Christ, but the image on it is so detailed that scientists have speculated that it may have been an example of a kind of medieval photography, and that such a "photograph" would have required an actual corpse, probably of a Jew who had been crucified expressly for the t occasion. In short, if it's a fake, that only makes it weirder and more fascinating.
EvilHomer
Actually, the initial carbon dating tests turned out to be in error, as the tested samples were apparently taken from a section of the shroud that had been repaired during the late middle ages. The shroud may or may not date from the time of Jesus; without further testing done on more representative samples, radiocarbon cannot say.

Also, I don't know which Shroud of Turin you've been looking at, but the one I know of isn't THAT detailed. A skilled painter of the time could have made that image, with or without a model, with or without said model being dead.

EvilHomer
Also also, how is a casket something that isn't "easy to fake"? You can easily buy a casket, or even make one. It's not that difficult.

dairyqueenlatifah
Well. This is the most fucked up thing I've seen in awhile.
John Holmes Motherfucker
All I know about the shroud of Turin is what I saw in a National Geographic documentary. Maybe I'll submit that.

I suppose that there are all sorts of possibilities that can account for this, but I'm saying that if you look closely at the casket, it looks convincingly old, and my hypothesis is that of all things, coffins tend to be either new or unavailable.

I don't really know if this is real or not. I'm not making an argument, just expressing an opinion
EvilHomer
You're making falsifiable claims, though. Either that is his grandmother's corpse, or it isn't. Either the casket could be faked, or it couldn't. What you are doing here is not so much stating an opinion (which cannot be tested) as advancing a hypothesis (which can); but with that said, I accept that you might not know if this is real, and if you don't wish to defend your hypothesis then that is your business.

Anyways, if you're curious about the Shroud of Turin, you should look up the work of Ray Rogers. It's a fascinating and even endearing story, and while it certainly doesn't prove that the shroud is "authentic", it does give you something more to think about.

erratic
He'll fight for that Yes Mummy taste!
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