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Desc:23.5 minutes of concentrated new age garbage.
Category:Religious, Business
Tags:psychic, vice, white people, Indigo Children, adhd
Submitted:kamlem
Date:04/13/16
Views:1080
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Comment count is 39
Old_Zircon
I briefly knew someone who claimed to be an Indigo Child. Before I knew that she talked her way into coming down from Maine and doing guest vocals for the band I was in, but she showed up completely falling down wasted on downers and stepped on my guitar.
misterbuns
I'm going to be posting a 'reel' i made for my last girlfriend who was indigo. among other things.

you guys are in for a treat.

EvilHomer
This is the sort of crap I grew up with. Right down to the tuning forks.

Oscar Wildcat
EvilHomer, time to out you. You're an indigo child, aren't you!

EvilHomer
Probably. Mom didn't really go in for the whole "auras" thing (mostly on the grounds that "real" auras are ever-changing and can't tell you much about long-term behavior, because DUH), but indigo children are defined in such a way that basically any reasonably intelligent kid growing up in a New Age household will fit the bill. And even if the kid in question doesn't fit the bill, any New Age aura-reader worth his correspondence degree will be more than happy to say otherwise if and when said kid's parents express an interest in indigos.

It's like the aura photographer in the first minute says; his clients are usually "right".

EvilHomer
"At sixteen, I became a full-blown Intuitive"

Fuck me, that's something else I haven't heard in awhile. If you've never met an Intuitive before, then New Age Week is going to be a wild fucking ride.

Cena_mark
New age week sounds great. Growing up I knew only one kid who's family was heavily new age. Back then I just associated new age with Pure Moods.

EvilHomer
You probably knew more, Cena, just weren't aware of it! Depending on where they live, New Agers can be pretty hush-hush about the kind of crap they get into. Memories of the burning times, despite being completely imaginary, still haunt their communities.

I showed a neighborhood kid my family's ceremonial altar a grand total of one time. My asshole stepfather "persuaded" me never to do that again, on the grounds that our neighbors might, quote, "burn down our trailer if they find out about any of this".

Oscar Wildcat
Now I am picturing a young evilhomer with a terminal case of metal hair sacrificing a squirrel to Baal.

BHWW
I knew some people who were neighbors of a relative of mine who were heavily into New Age and indigo child stuff. The dad was a shaggy beardo who popped Percocets like they were Tic-Tacs and claimed to have been, among other things an ex-Army Special Forces operative, and a bodyguard for Jerry Garcia and that his whole life had been turned around by "the lights coming out of the mountain", whatever that meant.

According to him his two severely ADHD early-teen children were "indigo" and his son wanted to be a professional cryptozoologist. The dad seriously asked a friend of my relative who had been visiting if she could help his son with his career in cryptozoology - apparently because she worked at a natural history museum.

EvilHomer
There were no animal sacrifices in our household; yes, in addition to the tuning forks, we had a small cauldron and a ceremonial dagger (an 'athame', as Wiccan fluffbunny posers called them; I thought it was a letter-opener for the longest time), but all of our animals died *naturally*, of untreated diseases. Mom believed in ahimsa (dharmic nonviolence) and as such wouldn't kill anything; spiders, mosquitoes, earthworms. She wouldn't even put our sick pets to sleep.

I did have some pretty badass metal hair, however.

Old_Zircon
Since I moved to Providence it's felt like a social liability to NOT be in to that stuff.

ashtar.
Fuck. I prefer evangelicals to new agers.
memedumpster
Sounds like you've never convinced anyone the Word of the Aeon is "watersports" before.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Yeah, but most of these people are too self-centered to want to go out and pass stupid laws.

EvilHomer
It's a mixed bag. I know some of you guys grew up in evangelical households, and as such, this video is probably a major culture shock for you. But really, New Agers - when they're not waving tuning forks in your face or magically transforming themselves into panthers - they're not THAT bad.

Old_Zircon
Evilhomer is mostly right.

SolRo
Isn't there a good overlap between new agers and antivaxxers? (and homeopathists)

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
t Solro: Yes, but they mostly try to convince others not to vaccinate, not ban vaccinations outright, as far as I've heard.

SolRo
Thats still pretty bad, considering they force it on their kids

The Mothership
"I pretty much refused medication."

Old_Zircon
I haven't met an anti-vaxxer yet. I've definitely met too many otherwise decent New Age types who've recently fallen for Iron John type bullshit, though.

Homeopathy is too mainstream to be a New Age red flag anymore, it just means you shop at Whole Foods by preference rather than convenience or necessity. I'm pretty sure "homeopathic" doesn't even mean "homeopathic" anymore, it just means "unregulated dietary supplement." There's plenty of "homeopathic" stuff being sold everywhere that actually has ingredients other than water in it, which means pretty much by definition it isn't homeopathic.

EvilHomer
Yeah, OZ has a good point. One of the most important things outsiders should understand about the New Age movement is, that there are no rules in the New Age movement. No common texts, no standards for research, and no universally agreed-upon definitions. There are as many definitions for words in the New Age movement as there are individuals within the New Age movement; "homeopathic medicine" is just as likely to be a generic buzzword as it is to be used in it's 'proper' sense, i.e. plain water diluted to the point where there is virtually nothing left of the active ingredients, particularly nowadays, when the "homeopathic = healing" meme has entered the broader public conscience.

Cena_mark
Tree Hugger is definitely into new age stuff. Did MLP get it right?

EvilHomer
Cena - Sort of. She's more of a hippie than a New Ager (there's a lot of overlap, but they are not necessarily the same things) and so far, the writers haven't develop Tree Hugger's character all that much. Still, I see no reason to doubt Tree's New Age streetcred, especially since she's know to practice auditory therapy (I put an auditory therapy video in the hopper earlier today)!

I'm pretty sure Lotus the Spa Pony is a New Ager, too. Rarity and Maud probably dabble in crystal energy healing - although Maud's is probably also a fan of left-hand occultism (which is usually frowned upon by New Agers, at least in public).

memedumpster
Photographing the human alpha channel should produce a white and gray checker pattern.

ADHDeity is the name of my Beast Coast hip-hop troop.
EvilHomer
That's only the case if your alpha channel display options are left on their default settings, and what Indigo would be that mundane??

Oscar Wildcat
To my knowledge, rock star David Bowie was the first person to show the beneficial effect upon the aura from insufflation of copious quantities of cocaine hydrochloride, as shown in this Kirlian slide dated April, 1975.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Yvw0U-bRXw

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Holy cow, two of these people took online tests that told them they were indigo children. The guy who runs the NYC Indigo group found out he was an indigo that way!

Also: "tuning foawks" in a good old-fashioned tri-state Jewish accent.
Cena_mark
I liked the conversation about sugared ice tea. It's sweet tea you dorks.

15th
Did we ever have a New Age Week? Because, I could really get behind that one.
Xenocide
Sure, given the choice any parent would rather hear "Your daughter is a Jedi" than "Your daughter is failing math."

Except not really because Jedi aren't real. And no amount of holistic dentistry will change that.
Xenocide
I'm sorry, I've just been informed that there is a specific amount of holistic dentistry that will change that, but first the dentistry it has to be diluted in water.

Old_Zircon
Yours.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Dentists Against Flouride

chumbucket
I had no idea Liz Warren was an indigo.
kingarthur
I was at Prescott College briefly pre-Katrina. Basically rich new age kids earning Master's in Psychological Counseling doing their theses on auras and chakras.

AND THEY'RE ACCREDITED.

Which is good, because the accreditation agency and the state of Arizona shut that shit down and the Psych program isn't like that anymore and all the New Age bullshit has migrated into the Master of Liberal Arts program.

I was a facts and science only heretic there, but I luckily had the backing of the dean and my advisor who were working to root the New Agers out of the program.

Best bit was when my advisor told a room full of New Agers that Terrence McKenna was "just an Irish drunk".
kingarthur
I also knew two girls who talked to trees and rivers and such while I was at Ole Miss. One of them manage to graduate with a degree in biology and actually sought proper psychiatric help.

The other is a semi-homeless ex pastry chef who roams the streets of Portland, OR on her bicycle accusing people who stare at her of assault and photographing them with her iPhone. She often posts about being stalked by random men and assaulted in public places like grocery stores and Wal-Marts.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Sire, is there a reason why the second girl you mentioned hasn't yet appeared on this site?

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