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Desc:Older submission taken down for copyright, but this is from Geraldo's site!
Category:Classic TV Clips, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Live TV, geraldo rivera, al capone, epic shamelessness
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:05/01/16
Views:896
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Comment count is 35
The Mothership
Raise your hand if you remember this:

*the Mothership*

Stars for the most disappointing thing ever, and also for Stroh's.
Bort
Ayup.

betamaxed
Stars for strohs

memedumpster
Yup.

This was my first major tv viewing disappointment event.

betabox
Same here, Meme.

Nominal
I only remember this from Bloom County making fun of it.
Binro the Heretic
Don't forget Weird Al spoofing it in "UHF".

Xenocide
All I remember is Homer Simpsons writing a song about it.

It was even worse than his song about Mr. T.

EvilHomer
Homer for me, too.

Old_Zircon
I remember Bloom County and UHF. I've never seen the actual thing itself.

Bobonne
I remember living through all the people making fun of the hype and then the outcome, but I never actually watched the 'event' myself.

Because it seemed really dumb.

The Mothership
Bloom County ripped the fuck out of this.

Binro the Heretic
I remember my mom insisting on watching this. I only caught glimpses as I passed through the living room because I was mostly in my room playing "Phantasie" on my old Commodore and only came out a couple of times for drinks & snacks.

I did get to see the ending, though. It was awesome. Geraldo standing there with egg on his face and the completely nonplussed demolition crew.

God, I couldn't stand Geraldo. And I was none too fond of John Stossel, either, but Stossel never really had a great humiliating moment like this.
Cena_mark
There's always the time John Stossel tried to get to the truth behind professional wrestling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0q44ALM7jo

Binro the Heretic
Aw, man. I forgot that was Stossel. I thought it was Geraldo.

betamaxed
Watching those slaps take me back.

Cena_mark
Two mustachioed dweebs, easy to confuse them.

Binro the Heretic
I always thought Stossel was Geraldo's cousin or something, like he got Stossel the job on "20/20" because he was doing a favor for his aunt.

Kabbage
Holy hell. They did this live?
Binro the Heretic
I remember it being a huge deal with much hype & ballyhoo leading up to the event itself.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I was in college. Spent the evening treating my huge college beard with olive oil. I recently discovered my old university ID. I look like Osama bin laden.

Has anybody tried watching this now? It's actually pretty good TV, if you accept the premise that, short of breaking in on Amelia Earhart playing chewss with Jimmy Hoffa, Geraldo's three seconds of genuine human embarrassment at the end is the best possible payoff. The biographical and historical material is fairly interesting and informative. Geraldo shoots a tommy gun. You could do worse.

I read somewhere years later that this was a huge step forward for Geraldo's career, because massive ratings for a prime-time special matter more than actually finding something. Further proof, if any was ever needed, that epic shamelessness is the best superpower, far more useful than even flying or invisibility.
EvilHomer
"Pretty good TV"??

EvilHomer
So are you saying this garbage was actually BETTER than most television of the time?

John Holmes Motherfucker
Are you expressing a contrary opinion, or asking me if that whole post was just one huge typo?

John Holmes Motherfucker
Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying. I enjoyed having it on while doing some housework, and later when I was taking a nap.

EvilHomer
I'm expressing my amazement! As I was watching this, the very first thing that struck me was how awful it was. I was picturing tens of millions of Americans all huddled around their TV sets, watching this crap together, and thought to myself "My God. This was American culture? How the HELL did we beat the Communists?"

I know TV has (and continues to have) a reputation for being utter garbage, and I'm not saying that there should be no room in our lives for simple, mindless entertainment. But this is *really* bad, and at least with the garbage shows of my own generation (Jersey Shore and 24, for example) there were no pretenses towards them having significant cultural or educational value. If this Geraldo special was "pretty good" by 1980s standards, then I shudder to think what else American minds were subjected to...!

John Holmes Motherfucker
I can see that you feel very deeply about this.

To me it's like two different documentaries running simultaneously. One of them is about crime in the 20s. The other is about shiitty 80s TV.

I enjoy how they play off each other. It may not be your cup of tea.

EvilHomer
I feel very deeply about most things, John, you know this. And I think you do, too.

Seven Arts/H8 Red
Geraldo Rivera actually ADMITS this was the turning point in his career (http://www.ew.com/article/1994/04/22/geraldo-riveras-failure-laun ches-his-career). ABC News president Roone Arledge allegedly killed Sylvia Chase's 20/20 piece related to Marilyn Monroe's affairs with John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy. Geraldo complained publicly about this, so he was fired.

It's not like Geraldo was obscure before this special, yet Al Capone's vault freed him from whatever journalistic "credibility" he had. From there, Geraldo could operate on pure spectacle, which is the most honest, uncut form of Geraldo.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I think I may be able to put it more accurately.

It's a live TV trainwreck were somebody had the sense to have a lot of prepared footage on hand, so it doesn't really drag.

A live TV trainwreck that moves right along? I think that's pretty good TV.
betabox
The canned crap was a frustrating distraction. We kept telling the TV to stop with the boring documentary stuff and get to the much-vaunted vault.

It was terrible TV.

John Holmes Motherfucker
You don't understand. I'm not saying it was good tv in 1986, when you expected a payoff. I'm saying it's pretty good TV now, as we knowingly watch Geraldo giddily unwrap the box of dogshit he's prepared for our birthday.

Anybody remember Geraldo's coverage of the OJ trial? He did hours and hours of daily television about how OJ was guilty. It made Nancy Grace look like the PBS news hoiur. And then it turned out he was fucking Nicole's sister.

Did I remember that correctly? Better look it up.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Well, What I know now is that Denise Brown was asked if she'd fucked geraldo, and refused to answer.

https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1915&dat=19960503&id=vg QhAAAAIBAJ&sjid=5HUFAAAAIBAJ&pg=1444,468059&hl=en

betamaxed
People like Geraldo remind me that no matter how big of a dunce or a failure you are, you can still swindle someone else into believing that you are a capable human being who deserves a salary.
chumbucket
his balls are huge
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