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Desc:7/7/2016 is when our refuge from the world finally opens!
Category:Religious, Pets & Animals
Tags:creationism, Noahs Ark, ken ham, kentucky, we e going to need a bigger boat, were going to need a bigger boat
Submitted:memedumpster
Date:05/23/16
Views:794
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Comment count is 25
Old_Zircon
Wasn't it illegal to build a wooden structure that big until pretty recently?

I know there have been all kinds of wooden high rises going up in the Boston area over the last 6 or 7 years because of some kind of deregulation but I don't know if it was a state or federal thing. At any rate, they were banned for the better part of a century because they're a massive fire hazard, but they've been unbanned because they're cheaper to build, and that's what really matters.
SolRo
I'm glad it got deregulated.

I got to witness a 3 floor wooden-frame condo construction complex go up in flames - at night - and it was GLORIOUS! Like all your angsty teenage fantasies about burning down the world given form.

memedumpster
In the gnostic scriptures, Norea (Noah's wife) burned the ark down three times.

chumbucket
Same sex couples lined up for tickets, two by two, to enjoy their newlywed honeymoons.
simon666
What beautiful resources being consumed.
Hooker
Using cranes the way Noah did.
simon666
Two cranes, you'll notice.

Maggot Brain
The world's first completely wooden oil tanker.
Cena_mark
It probably would have been easier just to get some tugs to drag a decommissioned tanker to Kentucky and say, "There, it would have been that big, but made of wood. All the world's species including the dinosaurs could totally fit in there."

Maggot Brain
Did they make sure use cider beams and oaken boards measure in cubits? Other wise it feels like a lie.

Cena_mark
I don't know if they used cider and oak, but I'm sure they took the cubits thing seriously.

Mister Yuck
Wikipedia says it's spruce framing clad in pine. Doing this thing in hard woods would cost a ton. They put it together with steel hardware too, another compromise.

Oscar Wildcat
If Ken could be bothered to _read_ his bible, it's made very clear that God would not drown the earth again. As a sign of this promise, God creates the phenomena of rainbows. Just last week, there was a double one over my house ( no kidding, we have them here often at this time of year ). It was spectacular, more of a triple really, a solid double with additional bands. So God sez Fuck You Ken Ham for not believing in him.
Cena_mark
But Kentuckians don't believe in climate change.
memedumpster
Nope, we sure don't, nothing to see here!

*looks at sky, builds giant boat faster*

Jeriko-1
Isn't it great?

Talking donkeys? Happened 100%

Magic Boats? Happened 100%

Climate Change? WHOA, WHOA WHOA! Looks like we got ourselves a nut job here!

Corpus Delectable
I hope that's marine-grade Tyvek.
gravelstudios
On I68 in western Maryland, a church has been trying to build a full size replica of Noah's ark for 40 years. It's pretty close to where I live, and I don't think they've made any progress at all since I moved here about 25 years ago. They have a big steel frame up, and it's just a big ugly eyesore next to the interstate with a huge plywood sign "Noah's Ark Being Rebuilt Here!". Every time I drive past, I just sigh to myself. What a waste.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God%27s_Ark_of_Safety
Killer Joe
In a few years it'll be foreclosed due to non-payment of wages/taxes ("But they were volunteers!"), bought up by some other evangelical who will try to add on a business park, fall into disuse, and be condemned after a 'mysterious' fire damages the superstructure beyond repair.
No, I won't be the one setting the fire, the owners will.
For the insurance money.
Keep up.
Cena_mark
It'll be a landmark for urban explorers.

FURY-161
Looks delightfully flammable.
15th
Thou shall build gift shop within.
EvilHomer
I think it's neat.
Mister Yuck
I agree. I'd love to work on that. Of course, it's non-union and the only work different from a high-rise is the carpentry, but still. Wikipedia article says they were going to go without metal fasteners but building codes wouldn't allow it, which is a crock of shit. With the amount of public funding going into this thing its clear that they could have got any variance they wanted signed off on. It's still the largest wood framed structure in America though, which is damn cool. I'd be real worried about the fire risk though, because I'm sure the inspectors were real lenient given the amount of sloppy blowjobs state and county government were giving this thing. And it's non union, and in the South, so I imagine all the electrical in this thing is Romex. Hopefully the insurance companies were keeping a real close eye on things, because with government and labor out to lunch, I'm sure they were the only adults in the room.

Ugh
the music really sets the tone for a self-fellating asshole
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