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Desc:Too H. Jon Benjamin for 73somethingsomething
Tags:jazz, H. Jon Benjamin, piano, solo
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 33
That guy - 2016-05-24
That was tighter than a midget's fist.
That guy - 2016-05-24
Fuckin' A, these are all fantastic.

chumbucket - 2016-05-24
Hopefully a smart restaurant owner will start playing this in the dining area to see if anyone notices.
15th - 2016-05-24
Awesome. I had a piano that was left in my garage by another tenant. Fake jazz was my favorite thing to play on it. Reminds me to dig up the recordings my friends and I made while really drunk - Pet Sounds: from memory.
Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
You don't understand, man!
EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
100% identical to real jazz.

Only this is better, because it's funner and not as pretentious.

memedumpster - 2016-05-24
Jazz wont meet you half way, EvilHomer.

It doesn't respect your lack of soul.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
Jazz couldn't find half way even if it wanted to. Jazz'd be lucky if I allowed it to reach a quarter way.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
You're a finga-poppin' square, EvilHolden. ( drawing a square with my fingers in the space between us )

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
The Coltrane ain't makin' no stops in honkytown!

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
See? "Squares". That's the only counter-argument jazz has for its critics. It calls you "a square" and hopes that shames people into silence. Jazz is all affectation. It's phony music for phonies who are too phony to even realize how phony they are.

memedumpster - 2016-05-24
Square is a polite way of saying "your brain can't quantize beyond 8th notes and we find this tragic."

You're miles and Miles Davis from the truth, my angular cousin!

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
Unrelated question: my lesbian galpal asked me to go to an upcoming comic convention, cosplayed as the singer from Ladybaby. Ladybeard's an awesome musician and Ladybaby is the best kawaii metal band on the market right now, but should I do this? Would it be a good idea?

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
"beyond 8th notes". More jazz affectation. It doesn't matter if you're playing 32nd-notes in 19/4 time or a simple drone, so long as it fits the musical message you're trying to convey - but of course jazz-guzzlers won't admit this.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
This mooning over the isles of lesbos is becoming a little unseemly, EH. Perhaps the driving force here is that the goal is unreachable? She sounds like a good friend: perhaps if you pick up with someone else you could handle the friendship better... Also: I have no idea what a ladybeard or a ladybaby is. Have you heard of this fellow Bill Evans? He is more to my liking.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
"Nothing is impossible. With single-minded resolve (一念), heaven and earth can be moved as one pleases." And anyways, I'm over her now. This is how I get with friends. :(

More to the point, Ladybaby:
I'd be the beardy one in the center. Perhaps I could even bring a keytar, and play jazz for tips in the lobby?

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
Well that was headache inducing! But by all means do the gig, hit the ladies room, and post the results!

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
You don't understand, man!

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
Oh, I get it now. This is the same thing as the clip above, a crude aping of the actual form for "teh lulz" as you youngun's like to say. Where are my onions!

Speaking of which, I just did my morticia adams thing and cut all the budding flower heads off my garlic. Any recipe advice? I got a boatload of scapes.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
No, it's an allusion of opportunity! Maneuvering you into this allusion was only a small part of "the thing"; Ladybaby is legit awesome (unlike jazz) and I'm seriously considering doing the gig, but the lulz were too good to pass up.

Anyway, if you want a song directly relevant to the spirit of the clip above:

memedumpster - 2016-05-24
Oscar, sift it through a silk screen to make ha... uh, onion powder.

memedumpster - 2016-05-24
Homer lied about being in love with a lesbian for the kicks?

Now I'm actually kind of sad.


EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
No, I am, but a few weeks ago I accepted that the best way to get through this would be to focus on my role as friend and confidant. It is in the hands of the gods now.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
FOR EXAMPLE: she tried to get me to wear lipstick the other day, and I told her "no". I'm a Rainbow Dash, baby, not a Spike.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
Another unrelated question: do any of you guys have Soundclouds? I know a few poesters do, but what about you, Messrs Wildcat and Dumpster?

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-05-24
Honestly, the anal cunt clip seemed a lot more "authentic" than the ladybaby. The latter seems a pastiche of pop culture stuff engineered to sell albums, the former is more to the spirit of punk ( which was engineered to _not_ be digestible by the mainstream ).

Meme: we got legal weed here - it's hard to beat the seasoned pro grower. Ten bucks a gram for the top top shelf stuff. If all you've tried is the illegal variety, you have _no idea_ how big the difference is. What the hell are you still doing in Kentucky?

Garlic, on the other hand, is ridiculously expensive yet trivial to grow. Important tip for big bulbs though is to cut the bud off to prevent a flower forming. I think I'll do a risotto tonight with asparagus and chopped scapes.

memedumpster - 2016-05-24
Oscar, Kentucky grows the best weed on earth. The day I smoke something from California or whatever that comes close, I will let you know. So far, the distance is very wide still.

Besides, it's not like the legal outlets don't all make fucktons of extra cash already by also selling on the black market too. They do.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
Ladybaby's perfectly authentic! Lyrically and visually they like to have fun with their art, but musically they're a really solid post-Gothenburg deathmetal act with a traditional band structure. Compare and contrast with their primary competition, Babymetal, who play their lyrics and visuals as straight as possible, but are constantly swapping out band members and experimenting with new musical styles. I suspect the difference in philosophy is a product of their respective roots; Babymetal is the spinoff project of an established J-Pop talent agency, while Ladybaby is the brainchild of a crossdressing pro-wrestler and two softcore CP models.

Both approaches work.

Think of them as GWAR with more wtfjapan!

EvilHomer - 2016-05-24
Incidentally, I challenge you to find something more punk than "a crossdressing pro-wrestler and two softcore CP models".

That guy - 2016-05-25
Hey EH, maybe you and Cena can form your "jazz sucks" buttfuck-Voltron again. That'll be fun.

EvilHomer - 2016-05-25
Uh oh, sounds like Fat_shy's a little jealous! It's OK, we'll let you join in; just pass the audition and prove you've got the skills to disdain jazz music like a pro. You can be the feet.

That guy - 2016-05-25
haha no thanks fartface

dairyqueenlatifah - 2016-05-24
This play has everything!
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