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Category:Video Games, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:NES, Milk, goat, bad end, vidya games
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:06/03/16
Views:786
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Comment count is 16
fedex
goats milk is the gateway milk
Scrimmjob
I rented this game a few times and thought it seemed cool, but every potion I ever made led to my immediate death. This one is new to me though.
Cube
Could use a "bad end" tag.
TheSupafly
Such awesome music in this game, but I could never figure out the right way to play.
Old_Zircon
I guess it came with an in depth manual that wasn't included when I rented it. Seems like people don't like it these days but the manual alone still costs more than most NES games.

FABIO
Mother FUCK Star Tropics "pour water on the manual or you can't beat the game" bullshit.

Scrimmjob
I think the copy I rented still had a well worn manual, and I still couldn't figure out how to do shit!

Xenocide
The secret is to drink the milk directly from the goat.

Old_Zircon
I don't think you needed the manual to win, but I think you needed it to have any chance of understanding gameplay.

I also think you needed more than the two or three days a rental lasted to have any hope of figuring out the spell crafting system.

gravelstudios
With StarTropics, it wasn't the manual, but a piece of paper that came with the game that was supposed to be a letter from your uncle. Fortunately for us, my mom never threw away anything, so we still had it. I think at some point, Nintendo Power might have published the code anyway.

Old_Zircon
I forgot all about that! I never had Startropics but I think I remember reading about it in Nintendo Power (a friend of mine subscribed).

Old_Zircon
Anyhow at least that's an interesting gimmick that was trying to add something to the game (even though it's a terrible idea), rather than some Sierra style "the manual is the copy protection" business. That stuff was the worst.

What I DO like is when the manuals have cryptic gameplay hints in them, like how some of the illustrations in the original Zelda manual were abstracted layouts of the dungeons that were actually close enough to the general shape that you could use them to help navigate (or even in that book that came with Kings Quest 6 and had the copy protection stuff there was also stuff like a literal map of the one big dungeon with all of the secrets and traps marked on it semi-hidden in the artwork on one page and a bunch of less specific hints that helped take some of the unfairness out of some of the puzzles - honestly I never found Kings Quest 6 hard back in the day anyway, I'm not sure what people were on about with that; the earlier ones sure, but 6 was pretty straightforward and even 5 wasn't bad over all, there were just a few difficulty bottlenecks and game breaking mistakes you could make).

Old_Zircon
While we're at it, it seems like a lot of people think the original NES Ninja Gaiden is a lot harder than it is. Challenging, sure, but it's not some brutlly difficult game. Hell, even the original TMNT NES game isn't THAT bad, although there was one part in the second or third to last section of the last level that always got me, that long hall with the jet pack guys in it. Either way, both of them are easier than, say, Snake Rattle & Roll and hell, I think Ninja Gai Den is significantly easier than the original Super Mario Brothers.

Old_Zircon
Or Bionic Commando. Or Cobra Triangle. Or Blaster Master. Or Legacy of the Wizard!


While I'm on a roll I'm jsut going to come out and say the Battletoads Turbo Tunnel isn't that bad, it's not even the hardest part of that game. It's just a rhythm game, everything you have to do is broadcast well in advance and it's challenging but it's not the end of the world. It's like trying to play an especially fast level of Parappa the Rapper with the sound muted, tough but manageable. It takes some skill, but getting good at it is a hell of a lot less work than grinding through the most basic NES RPG like Dragon Warrior.

Old_Zircon
Original Legend of Zelda is way harder than Ninja Gaiden, too, at least if you're going to really beat it (I've still never completed the second runthrough, honestly).



I think something a lot of peple don't appreciate anymore is that back in the 8 bit era if it didn't take you all summer vacation to build up the skill to beat a game then you were kind of getting ripped off. Those things weren't cheap, and if they weren't either really challenging, really long or really replayable the why bother?

Sanest Man Alive
Only three milks and he's kissing the dirt? What a fuckin' lightweight.
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